Palutena's Guidance about deep-sea kidnapping crisis
Here is how the Palutenaโs Guidance conversation changes with Dark Pit crashing the transmission to add his cynical commentary:
Pit: Lady Palutena! We have a major situation! Joker and Caroline have been turned into... mermaids?! And now a giant whale just swallowed them whole!
Palutena: Yes, Pit, I can see the cosmic ripples from here. It seems the Phantom Thief and the Velvet Room warden are in quite a pinch. Or should I say, a school of trouble?
Dark Pit: [Static cuts in] Are you serious right now? I leave for five minutes, and you guys are making terrible fish puns about a hostage situation?
Pit: Pittoo?! What are you doing on our divine frequency? And more importantly, aren't you worried?!
Dark Pit: Don't call me that! And no, I'm not worried. Joker is a leader of a gang of thieves, and Caroline literally locks people in prison cells for fun. If anyone can handle a giant overgrown goldfish, it's them.
Palutena: He does have a point, Pit. Even with a tail, Joker can still summon his Persona, Arsene. Though I imagine underwater combat makes casting Eiha a bit more complicated.
Viridi: Oh, please! You're all worrying about the wrong things! A humongous whale swallowing people is just nature taking its course. It's a majestic creature of the deep!
Dark Pit: Nature? It's a ridiculous cartoon crisis, Viridi. Who even turns teenagers into mermaids anyway? It sounds like a bad fanfiction.
Pit: It doesn't matter how it happened! It's a crime! I'm going to fly right down its blowhole and save them!
Dark Pit: Go ahead, idiot. Let me know how getting blasted out of a whale's head by high-pressure seawater helps the mission.
Palutena: Dark Pit is right, Pit. Standard rescue tactics won't work here. Focus on your positioning, keep your feet on solid ground, and wait for Sora and Justine's search party.
Dark Pit: Whatever. I'm going to go see if the whale needs help keeping Pit out. Good luck, salmon-boy. [Static cuts out]
Pit: Hey! Come back here! ...Lady Palutena, we're definitely saving them, right?
Palutena: Of course, Pit. Just watch out for the splash zone!
