Wondering Slave

CDC just said fully vaccinated people can swap sums and integrals without checking for convergence

she turned his remote vibe on 😳

"Weird energy in here today" I say, referring to the inside of my brain.

“lives in my head rent-free” is such a strange expression. Does anything in your head actually pay rent?

the little mouse who lives in my frontal lobe is my only source of income

AM I HALLUCINATING THIS

Happy Valentine’s Day

Love wins

actually the worms that live in my brain are not, in any capacity, responsible for my terrible ideas and godawful opinions. those are mine. the worms didnt make me have them. the worms just needed a place to live.

a lot of people don’t realize that our modern conception of urination was an invention of the industrial revolution, similar to the supposed need for eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. prior to that people just allowed it to slowly drip over the course of the day. it was encouraged to stop after gunpowder manufacturers found that the nitrogen levels of the factory floor affected the consistency of the product.

Republicans will send this to you asking if it’s true or if you knew about this!

Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.

bold of you to assume current me isnt also hating myself for making the decisions that i am making

Hello, I am old and thus have a large amount of past self to think/have thought about, and I’d like you to know that your future self is looking back on your past self with mingled love and sorrow and compassion, because they know how hard you were trying and how difficult the going was. Your future self wishes they could give you a hug and tell you to keep at it. Your future self wishes they could spare you the pain of hating yourself when they know that you are trying the best you can. Your future self isn’t mad. Your future self forgives you and would like you to take as good care of yourself as you can.

you’ve heard of existential dread and existential horror, now get ready for existential peace, which is that feeling when you stare up at the nightsky and think, “huh. i exist. that’s pretty neat.”

My favorite mood