prohibitively expensive, profoundly incompetent

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

i plead oopsies dasies your honor

sorry for ignoring you ive been going insane

I am going to charge you more than other customers because I hate you

im breaking gender roles by being the first girl to go to jupiter to get more stupider

goes to bed violently

autozone is short for autonomous zone

hey bestie! just letting you know i’m transforming into something unspeakable

picture if you will, that you are a well-to-do individual in the 70s. you have just committed the perfect murder of your spouse or business partner or something. you’ve set up all the evidence to clear of you of all possible suspicion.  and now you’re on a plane on your way to a distant country under the guise of a business trip until it blows over. you are relaxing in your window seat. the pilot announces a storm approaching. as the sky darkens and turbulence hits, you look out the window. your face goes white as a sheet. there. on the plane wing. detective columbo.

in my for gods sake HELP ME era

im getting really into real life right now it has become one of my obsessions