Howdy

reminiscing on when i went cave diving a couple years back & another dude who was in there was playing minecraft music out of his backpack so i just heard c418 slowly approaching me from within an actual cave. shoutout to that guy

i briefly experienced what it was like to be steve for real for about 4 minutes

you have to keep blogging. there are lesbians who like your posts

“why are you, as someone in their 30s, still on tumblr” oh so you think you’re gonna be normal when you’re my age? you think you’re gonna be CURED?? you think the witches’ curse will have been lifted by then?? cmon now

laying an egg hard and loud

will the person who tagged this “stephen colbert” please approach the bench.

you never see cross-fandom shipping anymore. there should be horrible discourse about chilchuck x karkat

for real though chilchuck would be way better for karkat than dave and it would give dave an existential crisis. karkat needs structure and drive but dave is just like a hang out dude, which karkat is fine with until he meets an adult man who is employed and realizes that being 26 isn't the same as being an adult. dave would be in absolute shambles and move out onto jade's couch and she would be super attracted to him but he's just not looking for that kind of thing right now....

the party meets chilchuck's new boyfriend at an alternian-style bbq and laios becomes obsessed with sampling all the different flavors of grubsauce

I know murdering all of the CEOs of all the evil corporations won't solve capitalism, but I don't think it would hurt either. Maybe we should try killing a few more, just to see what happens

maybe people will finally start seeing the class war that the rich have been relentlessly fighting this whole time. im not hopeful though.

hey girl your pussy is awesome, where did you get it installed?

between my thighs

Holy fuck

I have all the knowledge of the universe

And I will use this knowledge for evil purposes! I wasn’t sure if I was clear before!

the nature of thestanconfessions ensures that geniuses like this go uncredited and that’s one of history’s greatest tragedies

The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something