Big Grizzle

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

nice to know every choice I made was already optimal but I was really looking forward to learning how to juggle :/

Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her

there's this little fairy in my house that likes to make out with other fairies right where I can see because it knows it pisses me off and I can't fucking do anything about it because they're a protected species

probably won't end up quitting my job because I have this exact mental breakdown at least once a month and learn nothing

they will be putting me down

the ashtrays in airplane bathrooms are a fascinating harm reduction metaphor. yes it's illegal as hell to smoke in there. yes there's a smoke detector that will snitch on you the second you light up. so why is there an ashtray? because if there weren't, your single momentary dumbass crime could kill 300 people. it is fucking vital that if someone does have a lit cigarette on a plane, they have a place to safely put it out.

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

overheard a customer say "i'm ready for a divorce at this point" when I was bored at work and my eyes lit up like I won the lottery

you’d think that telling people to expand their music tastes would be pretty cut and dry but then you tell someone to listen to jazz and they call you eurocentric

How come every message scrawled in blood on a wall is sans serif