Good evening I'm a wizard

"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

Anyone else with chronic pain ever get really absorbed in a project and dissociate from your body while you're working but then you finish and you come back to your body and you're just like AAAAAAAHHH! WHAT'S WRONG?? oh yeah. The horrors. Never mind

⚠️ A single, distant "awawa!" echoes from the hills...

I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

saying cats don't contribute to the household is slander: they do have a job and it's going into mystery crevices and collecting all the cobwebs on their stupid little head

“I can fix him dw” [drill sounds] {screaming} [chainsaw revving]

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.