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I am at war with Sonic the Hedgehog

No, the title is not clickbait. I got a really nice hammock around two months ago and was having a great time using over the summer. It's one of those fancy ones with pillows and drink holders, so you can imagine that I was making great use of it.

Last week, I went to use it in the morning and found that it was covered in blue quills. Before you flame me in the comments, hear me out: I KNOW the city has an unofficial rule stating that you have to let Sonic use your lawn furniture whenever he wants. I KNOW he's saved the world a bunch of times over. Honestly, when I saw all the quills, I wasn't even mad. I pulled them out and carried on with my day.

But then it happened again. And again. And again. Guys, he sleeps on my hammock at least four times a week. I know he doesn't have a house or whatever (does anyone know why he chooses to be homeless???), but why does it have to be MY hammock all the time? It's really pissing me off.

Anyways, I've started to Sonic-proof my hammock, but nothing I've tried is working. I tried taking it down and putting it in my shed overnight, but I found quills in it again the next time I took it out. I think he literally set up the hammock and then put it back in the shed when he was done with it.

That wasn't the only thing I've done. I've left it covered in water (I guess he's only scared of actually drowning because that didn't work), mud and leaves (it came back clean?), and one time even covered it in crumbs so it would get infested with bugs (I think he just ate them). I'm out of ideas and I don't think he plans on stopping anytime soon.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm going insane. Everything about Dr. Eggman is starting to make sense to me and it's terrifying.

Falin

Namari

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