dumb bitch

Preorders now up!

Hardcopy preorders now listed :)

girls are we normal today

pulled over to give a homeless guy some cash on the side of the road today and he pointed to my bigfoot air freshener and asked if i believed in ‘that guy’ and no, i don’t, i have the air freshener because my last car before this one (the pt cruiser) belonged to a woman named tracy who loved bigfoot and had a whole collection of bigfoot stuff including the air freshener and she died of cancer which is why her husband was selling me her car and i figured, hey, might as well keep the air freshener in her honor. and then when i had to junk the last car i couldnt bring myself to get rid of it. so now it’s just hanging off my rear view mirror again. which is probably a worse reason to have an air freshener than believing in bigfoot.

i left your sink on for 13 hours ok? is that ok

a car goes full speed off a cliff and explodes at the bottom and when the smoke clears it's actually just perfectly parallel parked

ohhh im so microwave safe im so fucking microwave safe please put me in the microwave

if you're reading this make sure to tense up some more and ignore your bodys needs

they should invent a way for me to bear it

Dude I love your blog. I'm a big fan of the cries for help

sorry for being weird lately it's just that ive been weird lately

i blog for girls who are umm relentlessly tormented. By the misery

i'm perfectly fine except for the problems

gonna be honest. no number of iced beverages can save me at this point

I could be better but I'm considering becoming worse