into the dust we go

She held very still when her mother kissed her forehead.

The way she always did when affection came at her directly — not pulling away, never pulling away, just going still the way small animals go still when something gentle surprises them. Like she needed a moment to receive it properly.

When she looked up, the young girl's eyes were very serious. The way Baela's eyes got when something mattered enough that she couldn't quite make it light.

❛ You mean both of us, right? ❜ she said. Not challenging. Just — making sure. ❛ Even Rhaena? You're proud of both of us the same? ❜

Because that was the thing underneath the thing. Not her own pride, not her own accomplishments — Rhaena, always Rhaena, the quiet worry she carried like a second heartbeat that her sister somehow didn't count the same way, didn't measure up the same way, in someone's eyes somewhere.

And she needed to hear it said plainly. Needed her mother to say it plainly. Baela's shoulders came down a fraction of an inch.

Part of her understood the question her daughter had proposed, but she needed no time to process it. The answer had already been in the back of her mind. She felt proud of both of her girls. Perhaps this is just something she'd have to say more often. However, that is something she would be entirely happy to do. She only had to make a mental note to see Rhaena soon. If not before the girls go to bed then definitely the next morning. For now she'd gladly settle for the moment with Baela.

"Yes, I am equally proud of both of my girls. Very much so," she spoke with certainty. Laena hoped it would be enough to show she felt genuine in her words. But she would gladly say it as many times as possible. Baela being a dragonrider made her different, but it didn't make Rhaena less than for not having an egg. Laena herself knew what it meant to go years without a dragon. The determination she saw in her other daughter and what she could do despite had been enough.

"a month?" i must say i'm impressed by his ability to keep it a secret, but then again he's always been better at it than i have. if it was me planning to propose to benedict, i know i would ruin the surprise before it was time to reveal it. i can remember times in the past when we were younger and i would spoil secrets both with benedict and my parents.

there's also the fact that i wouldn't know what to even say if i was kneeling before the other man with a ring that i hoped to put on his finger. the proposal was perfect the way it played out because it was the sweet man before me who did it. "this was definitely the right time." i said with a small laugh of my own, reciprocating the hug with a kiss to the side of his head.

i tried not to think about anything negative at this moment because it was meant to be good and the start of our new life together, but there was something bittersweet about the whole thing. we were older than we were back when we first met and fell in love. i would have loved to marry him back then if society allowed it and life was kinder to us. but we were still able to spend eternity together that we'd get to enjoy as husbands. that was more than enough and i told myself to cherish every minute that we have together.

once he heard from sal that he believed it had been the right time he felt much better. this, much like their reunion at the hospital, felt another turning point in their relationship. one he felt entirely ready to face with the man, his fiancé. that word felt so easy to say in his head and the kiss on his head made it feel much smoother as well. with the box still in his hand he felt himself push back. benedict held the box between their bodies and looked into sal's eyes.

She understood that Nora would, by far, be too kind to agree with Mary Louise on the matter that, in the end, Mary Louise herself had been the one to doom them both. She had been the one sick, slowly rotting, dying. She had been the one to start the process of overloading the Sword of the Huntress. And yes, Nora had agreed to do it together with her, likely believing that since Mary Louise was dying regardless of what they did next, joining her in death would be a better alternative.

One could call it romantic, in a way. The two lovers dying together, refusing to be apart. And while, in that moment, if the roles had been reversed, she would have done the same, she now felt it had been a burden. Because in the afterlife, she had not found her. She had found nothing but eternal silence and bliss. She had not been at peace, but neither had she been suffering... perhaps she had simply been in the abyss.

And it seemed Nora had struggled the same way... or at least had experienced the same endless and restless feeling of being incomplete.

In a way, she felt bad. She certainly did not feel the same when it came to the others. Yes, she wanted to bring them back too, revive them from wherever they had gone beyond the illusion of the Other Side. But at the same time, her main priority had been Nora.

In her mind, she had told herself that she needed Nora first in order to help bring the others back, but that was a lie. She knew that because if she truly needed another heretic, there was always Valerie, even if she was not quite certain where Valerie was these days.

Prior to this, they had reunited but failed to stay together, as they were simply too different. Even when Mary Louise had gone above and beyond to restore the sisterhood between them, she made no illusions for herself. They had always been at odds, and she doubted that would ever change.

At least she had been able to express how sorry she was for doubting Valerie when she had shared her most horrific and traumatic experience.

It had also made her question something: should she really desire to reunite all of them?

Because while she could not deny that being with the others had provided her a chance at survival, she also could not deny that their coven had been the ruin of many lives. And it seemed the world had agreed with that. Rayna had agreed with that. The Gemini Coven had agreed with that.

Just because they all shared the same burden did not mean they were fated to be united. Clearly, they had all failed to see the damage Julian had woven into their lives.

In fact, Mary Louise would even argue now that Julian and his actions had sparked the entire snowball effect. Because had he not compelled Rayna to slaughter her father, she would never have been motivated. And likely, the heretics would never have been on the run, only to cluelessly walk into the trap the Gemini Coven had set for them.

None of that mattered now. Nora was what mattered.

"I know that I have not been perfect at helping you in this new world... that my jealousy and hesitation to change likely put a stain on us. But I intend to do better... I truly intend to do better... it's just that I do not know how to be better. I do not want a life of terror and slaughter anymore. I want to explore this new world with you. I do not want to be afraid to show our love, to run from hunters, or to constantly look over my shoulder for remnants of the Gemini Coven. I do not want my hands covered in blood anymore. I know I will never be able to wash the sins from them, but at least I want to do better. If not for myself, then for you." And she meant that.

She had already tried to adjust to that new mindset. But the truth was that she knew something inside of her had been broken. And now that she had been brought back, that broken thing had shattered completely, leaving behind a void that called for the thirst of blood.

"But that is not important right now... what matters is that you are here. But please tell me this is permanent... because I cannot bear to lose you another time. I would rather burn for all eternity than be parted from you again." She hummed before pressing a gentle kiss against her lips, holding her tightly as though she feared Nora would simply vanish away, as if this were some dream destined to become a brutal nightmare.

"Are you aware of where we are? Of what year it is? What time?" Logical questions, though her mind continued to wander. "What about the others...? Do they not desire to return to this realm as well? At times I still hear Beau's haunting singing in my dreams... Malcolm's laughter... Oscar's rather humorless jokes..." Honestly, of all of them, she was certain Oscar had gone straight to Heaven, considering he had been the least violent among them. The fact that Valerie had murdered him had always been one of the main reasons Mary Louise had been hesitant to believe her claims about Julian.

"Perhaps we should not talk about them... perhaps we should focus on you, now that you are here. You are in my home, in New Orleans... though this is not quite the paradise for witches that it once was. But in here, we are safe. Do you desire to eat? To drink? Sleep?"

Old memories flooded through her mind the longer she kept contact with Mary Louise. The rare few childhood memories that held happiness. All before things hit the fan and her siphoning abilities became apparent. She remembered being protected at one point. She also remembered that little trust being broken when she'd accidentally hurt her mother. After that she'd been entirely isolated from the coven and given only the bare essentials to survive.

It hadn't been until her feelings for women became obvious did she get truly shunned. Her family had been given two excuses and weren't shy to share the reasons to their entire coven. As much as Nora wished she could forget all that pain from her human years she knew she couldn't really. It would always be part of her. Much like the fact that she'd always been into women. Being in the modern times felt like a breath of fresh air for somebody to be out and proud. Having Mary Louise around made that easier.

Sure she may have felt attracted to other women before, even that Bennett witch, but none of them had measured up to the woman before her. Being able to share not only their siphoning abilities, but also their vampirism made this feel more special. A true forever if you will. Nora had been willing to risk that forever when she knew Mary Lou had been so close to death before. Yes, she could've moved on and found another partner. But in reality she couldn't live in a world without the blonde heretic.

That had been the entire driving force behind her decision to try and find her way back to the real world. Nora had put blind faith into her powers. It had worked, but there hadn't been any guarantees it would. Fate had cruelly torn the two heretics apart in death and now she'd changed it. She felt more determined than ever to keep this going. Mary Louise meant absolutely everything to her.

As her own thoughts began to settle she's soon bombarded with what they have to tell her. Nora gave them her full attention. They deserved that at least. They deserved the whole world, of course. But their words did make her ponder about how their relationship had been during their return from the prison world. Nora had been able to adapt somewhat easily to the modern world. Technology had taken a bit, but she got there. For a moment she had even tried being a university student with other people from Mystic Falls. She had hoped to share more of that time with Mary Louise, but other things had gotten in the way.

"I believe it to be permanent, Mary Lou. I didn't know it would work, but I will get my strength back with my powers soon," she tried to assure them. Nora wanted to believe it. But like most things in life this would take time. Time that definitely had on her side now. "We're still in modern times, I'm sure. Definitely not that Mystic Falls place," her voice was laced with certainty. There had been a hint of satisfaction in that. If this were to be the start of their new forever she felt grateful to not be there anymore.