witchywitchbitch

One day, Ilya makes one joke too many about Shane having a "weak backhand" so, of course Shane "Anything you can do I can do better" Hollander gets a hat trick in his next game with exclusively backhanded shots. Ilya has never been so horny in his life. Ilya also does not stop making the weak backhand jokes.

very sexy to think of shane being tangentially aware of his wants and needs but having no outlet for it and no time to think about that rn because they’re building him into a hockey machine and then ilya grabs his stupid slack face and tells him to get on his knees one time and shane winter soldier activates and now he’s constantly two seconds away from asking ilya to unhinge his jaw and crawl inside so shane can be full of him and ilya is like. baby. baby can we just cuddle please i’m so scared right now

Big fan of when people write irulan and paul fics and chani dumps paul without the whole "having his kids and dying in childbirth" conundrum

I think it’s so funny how we have to speak to men like preschoolers when it comes to having empathy for women. like hey buddy… I know you think girls are icky :( but remember your mommy? your mommy is a girl! and then they’re like ohhhh… mommy IS a girl.. and I do like mommy… this is starting to come together