Follow the lights

Shitty things about being isekaied #34; every time I use the restroom I automatically reach for my phone I left in my jacket pocket back on earth, and my hand goes exactly where I keep my knives on my belt, so I always walk out of the john with a fresh hand wound

Shitty things about being isekaied #49: dog came with me but the magic field uplifted her into an anime girl and I'm realizing our personalities just don't click (plus her sitting on my lap is weird now)

Shitty things about being isekaied #64: the town blacksmith is an elf named Gay Simpson and I couldnt explain why that made me laugh and now she won't fix my weapons anymore

Shitty things about being isekaied #75: my degree in russian lit is useless now

Shitty things about being isekaied #83: the four dark lords of this world look almost identical to abba which cant be intentional but when they line up on horseback its so uncanny i cant help but wonder if someones fucking with me

Shitty things about being isekaied #94: they dont make my meds here and health potions dont do shit for bipolar

Shitty things about being isekaied #102: finally met another earthling but hes like half my age so we dont have anything in common. somewhere along the line he got turned into a musclebound wolfman and every time i ask about it he gets super smug and refuses to tell me how it happened

I have bad news about the degree in Russian lit here as well.

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL