winterwandersland

“please,” he begs over the phone, “i’ll be good i swear. i’ll stop fighting just let me come home.”

from his tone you could tell he was just done crying and it just sounded pathetically beautiful.

“this is not your home. this is my house.” you coo as you stir your dinner. “stop calling me dex.”

you hang up without listening to the rest of his pleading. though less than 10 minutes later, he’s at your front door, begging again.

“baby,” eyes red and puffy, “i need you, i can’t breathe without you. please, please, don’t cut me off again, just—” he breathes as he ghosts his arm by your shoulders like he’s asking for permission. “can i please stay?”

you sigh and let him inside the house. he silently walks in, muttering a quiet thank you as he passes you. as soon as you close door and turn, dex is already on his knees.

“what the hell are you doing dex?”

dropping to his knees, his hands caress the backs of your thighs, dropping his head and burying it between them. gripping you tightly like he could bare letting go. “please take me back. nothing is good without you and it’s making me fucking sick, please,” practically blubbering at this point.

he was so strong and his biceps wrapped around you effortlessly. you could feel the strength just radiating off of him always, like an ever glowing essence.

you sigh, hand touching the nape of his neck and travelling up through his hair while he hums in contentment, “please stand up.”

the sound that he makes was teetering the line of desperation and relief. his lips press against the plush of your thigh while his hands rise to cup your ass. with your hand still buried in his hair, you pull him up with a slight tug, trying to get him to stand. though he keeps slowly rising, kissing up your side and dancing over your stomach, the fabric rising with every movement. a soft gasp escapes your lips and his touch slides up your spine, a shiver running through you. he stops just by your neck when you tug his hair harder and he hisses your name though one would argue it was a moan. you shove him gently and tell him to sit down, though you knew he could’ve stopped you.

you tend to his wounds and wipe his face and he watches you the whole time with puppy eyes. you share your dinner with him but you don’t touch again then, he only steals glances between bites.

within the span of an hour he’s inching closer to you on the couch and he’s watching you when he thinks you’re not looking. no one really cares about the news playing on the television as it repeats something about the AVTF.

his heavy hand rests just under your chest as he pulls you in and buries his nose in your hair, taking a long deep breath in. memorizing your scent like it gave him life.

by the end of night dex is situated between your legs, groaning like it hurts to part from you. he whispers soft thank you’s like he’s grateful for this meal you’ve provided. pushing your legs up higher over his head while you pant and squirm. but dex takes more control then, ignoring your pleas to slow down and dragging you closer to his mouth. maw slack and relentless as he laps and teases. his strong arms wrap and hook around your thighs. tongue teasing the sensitive bud for what felt like eternity. you’ll push his head away to no avail, weakly spent as you attempt it.

“dex, enough. i can’t,” you pant, voice bordering on barely concealed exhaustion and blissful satisfaction.

he shakes his head against you and that only makes you gasp again, throwing your head back.

“not until you promise hmm?” he says between his drunken moans, “you can’t leave me.”

crying out from overstimulating pleasure you nod, “okay, fuck— i won’t. you can stay.”

looking up at you through his hooded eyes, he smiles with them before kissing your inner thigh. he leaves gentle kisses to let you cool off, letting the feeling subside for barely a minute before diving right back into his ministrations. he lets you squeeze yours legs around his head and writhe as you say his name.

“now really try to suffocate me with these,” he says as he squeezes your thighs harder around his neck, turning his head to bite the plush of your thighs.

you know you’ll let him in again. you’ll always let him come back. maybe one day you’ll tell him how you follow him too.

It’s not the sudden slam of your kitchen window when it drops closed, or the thud of Dex’s body on the tiled floor that wakes you up, nor is it the curse that escapes him when he heaves himself up to put the knocked over spices back into the order he knows you like. It’s also not the clatter of a loose throwing knife that hits the floor when he kicks off his boots, unwilling to leave footprints when he can smell the lemon floor cleaner you must have used when he was gone. 

You don’t even stir when Dex stumbles into your room, distracted and clumsy as he tries to draw even breaths. You’re still laying on your front, limbs tangled in the sheets like you’d been restless all night. He knows you hate sleeping without him, even on nights where you tell him ‘It’s fine’ and reassure him that you aren’t going anywhere. He hates it too, even though he’d never said it out loud, not wanting to unlock that safe inside his mind that would tell him to never leave your side.

None of his gentle touches, that graze of gloved hands along your bare thighs or his lips against your forehead pull you from whatever dream you must be having. If it were any other time he would retreat, peel off his suit and let the hot water of the shower calm him down, but tonight that won’t do it.

It’s the quiet ‘Can I?’ that finally brings you out of sleep. A small question he whispers against your neck even when you’ve told him before that he doesn’t need to ask, ever. But he always does anyways, you think he likes the reminder, that he always has this access to you.

With Julie he’d never felt anything romantic, and that made it easier to keep his distance for all that time, but he couldn’t imagine doing the same with you and his upper lip curls with irritation just thinking about it. 

Even now, settled above you on your bed in an apartment you’ve shared for months, it doesn’t feel close enough, and Dex wants to laugh in the face of all the past versions of him who had thought there was something fundamentally broken inside of him, despite being told otherwise. That false truth he’d accepted for so long that he’d only be able to obsess, and never love, almost any emotion from someone with psychopathic tendencies like him would have to be forced, it’d never come naturally.

What a fucking lie.

Everything was natural with you, mostly because he never expected it, he hadn’t been looking for you. Just revenge.

Dex didn’t even have to force meeting you as his neighbor, somewhere lost in that time shortly after his escape, back when he’d gripped the closest item to use as a weapon as he’d opened the door that first time to see you standing there. He remembers every detail, your flushed face from climbing the multiple flights of stairs, a hopeful smile on your lips as you asked if he had seen the neighbor's cat you were helping to track down. He’d offered to help you without a second thought, without even a first one really because he was supposed to be forming his plan to get revenge on the Fisks for ruining his life, supposed to be balancing the scales. But he’d do anything for you, even back then.

And you’d do anything for him too. 

Even now, at three am it takes you only a second to process his question, the need clouding his hoarse voice like an oncoming storm, and you vaguely register that a hand is tracing against the bare skin of your back even though you’d gone to sleep fully clothed. Had he taken it off or had you?

“Sweetheart?” A raw and strained voice probes again, thinking you hadn’t heard him, and your gasp is muffled against the pillow when a set of fingers you hadn’t taken notice of yet, press down between your thighs. You still have your underwear on, but they’ve been pushed to the side, exposing you to his leather covered hands. 

He still has his gloves on, and the scrape of damp fabric against your jaw when he places a delicate kiss there tells you he still has the mask on too, pulled up just enough to use his mouth. How long has he already been working you up, deciding if his mind was loud enough to warrant using the agreement you had in place?

How bad was his night for him to come straight to you without even getting out of his suit and showering first, betraying his own routine?

“Please,” You nod, finally answering a question that never needed to be asked.

It’s quiet, and barely audible over the dulled city noises just beyond your window, but you think you hear a quiet ‘Thank you’ muffled against your neck.

Dex’s gloved hand pulls away from your cunt, the tips of them reflective in the moonlight with evidence of your arousal, and he’s so glad the two of you put the bed near the window when you moved here together. This building was safer than the one you’d met in, less potential entry points and with the help of Mr Charles and his new line of freelance work, the perks of reinforced glass windows you could sleep in front of with no worry. 

No, with this clean slate you were safe. He didn’t have to worry about you, but that still didn’t stop him from doing so anytime you were apart.

You’re still only half awake when he unbuckles his tactical pants, the sound of the zipper giving you a few seconds notice before his knees are guiding your legs apart, his chest lowering to press against your back, effectively pinning you against the mattress, still fully in his suit. You can feel the outline of the leather gun holster on the middle of his chest, but there’s no solid mass, no weapon, nothing that could hurt you. 

And, god, it’s times like this you remember how big he is, how easily he completely covers your body with his own, and you can’t help but squirm when you feel the head of his cock rock up between your thighs. 

If Dex’s fingers hadn’t gotten you wet enough before, this certainly will, and he settles into a slow rhythm, coaxing your body to relax beneath him with every slide of his hard length, getting you used to him. Your body’s already memorized him, the familiar way he occasionally catches on your opening before pushing further to nudge against your clit, and then he draws his hips back to repeat the motion over, and over, and over.

The gentle grinding must make you fall back into sleep, only for a few seconds, because when you’re alert again it’s to him sinking halfway inside you. 

“Fuck-“ Your lungs seize up when he gets to the last couple inches. No matter how long it’s been, how much time he spends getting you ready for him, it’s always a struggle, and it’s not just the length of him, but the unexpected thickness towards the base too.

“Shh, shh,” Dex takes his time as he continues that slow stretch, “You’re okay, just breathe,” he urges shakily with a small kiss to your temple as he finally settles himself all the way in, his hips flush against the curve of your ass, fingers finding yours to intertwine together. “I’m here.”

One thing you learned early on with him is that during nights like these, when he needs to shut off his head, he never stops talking. Sometimes it’s all to you, whispered praises, declarations of love, telling you how good you are for him, and other nights it’s rambled snippets of things he’s trying to get out of his head, trying to purify himself before he can ever let any of his actions taint you. 

His girl. His North Star.

You always tell him nothing would make you change your mind on him, but he still feels compelled to tell you it all anyways.

“Didn’t want to wake you up,” A quiet grunt escapes him when he pulls back, barely enough so he can rut back into you immediately after, hating that sickening feeling whenever a part of his skin separates from yours. 

“It’s okay,” You reassure him, you want to say more, want to ask him how his night was, if the small smears of blood he’s leaving on your joined hands is his or someone else’s, if you need to be worried that he’s hurt. But the deep press of his cock against your cervix steals every word you want to say, and you can only gasp instead. 

“Shh, m’sorry,” He curses and squeezes your hands in an unnecessary apology because you’re trying to catch your breath so you can ask him for more.

Another thing that surprised you about Dex is how gentle he can be. 

You’ve seen him in action of course, it was unavoidable the day you found out everything when Fisk sent people after you, ‘revenge for his wife’ Dex had said later on. That same day when he had to beg you to run with him so you didn’t end up like Julie, with the wildest look you’ve ever seen in his eyes, face splattered with blood as he asked you to trust him. 

Of course you did, even though you watched as he took down five men in task force branded vests with just a few small movements of his hands. 

You never once doubted the promises he made to keep you away from harm, when you blindly followed him to a safe house he got ready the moment he met you ‘just in case’, you’d understood when Dex told you about his past, the why behind his need to settle the scale by killing Vanessa. 

You know the hands that are squeezing yours like an anchor as his cock reaches impossible places inside you again, are hands that have killed probably too many to count. But aside from those occasional times where you have to half-beg him to be rough with you, or the more common occurrences of hickeys and bite marks that you know he loves admiring whenever he can leave them, he’s the softest touch you’ve ever felt.

“I’ll be careful, you can go back to sleep,” Dex murmurs, less shaky now he’s inside you, he’d said once he always felt bad when he woke you up for this, that he knows you can never fully settle after. He’s managed it plenty of times before, sometimes never going further than satisfying his need to be inside you until he’s utterly calm, like the surface of a lake with currents rolling beneath, threatening to pull you down into them. 

“Don’t need sleep-“ You shake your head, and it’s only when you feel the wet patch on your pillow against your cheek do you realise you must have started drooling at some point. “Need you-“

You always need him. 

Through the layers of armoured fabric on his chest, you can feel the stutter of his breath, the still-there quiet disbelief at knowing you’re always waiting for him, always wanting him in a way that matches his own and fuck it’s never something he thought he’d get.

“That’s my girl,” Dex sighs, warm breath rolling over your face as he presses his face closer to yours. There’s an unmistakable metallic tinge to it that tells you there’s blood in his mouth and fear spikes in your chest.

What does the CIA have him doing-

“You’re bleeding, Dex-“ 

His laugh rumbles through against your back, abrupt and breathy while he smirks at your concern, like you’re worried a paper cut could make him bleed out.

“I’m okay, promise, just need you, Sweetheart.” You catch a flash of his face, dark eyes framed by the fabric of the balaclava, you were right about the lower half being pulled up. His mouth is bloody with a split lip, but it doesn’t hold him back from the lopsided smirk, one that would look threatening to anyone else, but with you it brings a sudden rush of warmth and slickness between your thighs.

He knows, fuck he must know the effect it has because he releases one of your hands from his leather grip so he can slide his arm between you and the mattress, expertly finding your clit in seconds. You should feel some sort of shame, filthy at the fact he’s still wearing those gloves that dance tightly wound circles over where you need him most, an inch higher from where he’s splitting you open on his length.

Everything from now is measured, examined by eyes trained to pick up every tiny detail, every miniscule reaction as your cunt begins involuntarily fluttering around his cock, every thrust growing harder now you’re dripping down him, ruining his tactical pants further along with your bedsheets. 

Dex tuts when you close your eyes to hide from the feeling, but he lets you have the escape, for now at least.

“Dex, I’m gonna-“

“I know, I know sweetheart, let go,” Dex rasps, sweet and condescending, like he’s not making you fall apart with a hand that you can’t be sure hasn’t been used to kill someone tonight. 

The thought should terrify you, he should terrify you, but how could he when he’s littering your face with kisses, holding you like you’re something precious, needing you like you’re important to him.

You’re tightening around him almost painfully, limp and choking on dry sobs beneath him and all you can do is squeeze the hand you’re still holding, your free one reaching behind to try and pull him closer by the back of his neck, aching for him to kiss you as you practically mewl his name, but he keeps a set distance so he can watch you.

“Dex! Dexdexdexdex-“ You can’t get out anything except his name and your eyes fly open to find his already on you, they probably never left. It’s his favorite part after all, the moment you come undone for him, and often he never settles for it happening just once, but he has to right now if he’s going to make that noise in his mind go quiet.

“Got you- I’ve got you.” Dex grunts, snapping his hips into yours and savouring the way you soak him, the strangled moans you make that continue to spur him on, pulling him away from one edge, but pushing him towards another. 

One he’s ready to leap from with a single question, “Inside?”

Dex never left things up to chance, you could argue calculated and precise are two of the three words you’d use to describe him, along with loving, but slowly the two of you had fallen into this habit of playing this game of chances.

Everything had started with small pills that you’d forgotten one too many times to be considered safe anymore, so you moved onto condoms. That method didn’t last nearly as long, coming to an abrupt end one night you both forgot the tiny foil square in the nightstand and remembered that bare slide of skin and skin, a mutual agreement was made that you trusted him enough to pull out each time, letting him paint your stomach or lower back with his spend.

That was until you got reckless, pleading him to stay at a point in your cycle you weren’t at risk of anything serious happening. That’s when you saw that look in his eyes after he withdrew just enough to see himself still leaking from your cunt. Those ribbons of white he fought the urge to gather up and push back inside that screamed evidence you were his. 

You started to say you weren’t trying… but you weren’t not trying. 

Dex knows your cycle as well as you right now, knows this isn’t like those weeks marked a shade of blue on your app that tells you both it’s not a risk, knows the weight of his question that he’d never ask if he wasn’t sure you weren’t safe from potential harm, in a high security apartment with the bulletproof windows even he couldn’t break through. 

But to you, the weight of it may as well be a feather.

“Inside.” You agree. 

In an instant, the remaining hand still locked with yours pulls away, instead sliding up along your throat, where you’re sure he must feel how much your heart is racing, and settles on your jaw. So big that he doesn’t even have to spread his fingers to be able to hold almost your whole face and pull you into a kiss for the first time, his blood and saliva swirling in your mouth as his tongue slides against your own.

“Fuuuck-“ Dex groans into you, long and quiet like you’re pulling it out of him and he shudders, his movements becoming sloppy and harsh until you feel it. A flood of warmth, so much of it that it escapes you almost immediately, despite the fact he’s pressed so deeply inside that you can feel he’s right against your cervix. 

Dex stays in you, long enough for you to know it’s more than usual, long enough to know you should add tests to next month's shopping list. But that’s a worry for another day. For now, you look out at the lights in the city, in a few hours people would be beginning to wake, and you wonder if you’ll catch any evidence of Dex’s bad night on the news.

“Better?” You ask only once his breathing’s slowed and he’s relaxed on top of you.

“Better.” Dex agrees quietly, finally withdrawing his hand from between your thighs to tug his mask off, sweat dampened hair falling into his face. Thankfully his mouth seems to be the worst of it, he’s got a bruise blooming on his cheekbone but his nose isn’t crooked, and there’s no black eye or potential concussion to monitor. “I’m gonna shower, okay?” 

“Think you’re getting away that easy?” You ask when he pulls out, cringing at that uncomfortable sudden wetness between your thighs, underwear still pushed to the side. You’d definitely have to change the sheet before going back to sleep.

“What, you want to come with me?” Dex teases, still not at the same confidence he usually would, still withdrawn from whatever got under his skin.

“Someone has to make sure you’re not gonna pass out,” You mumble airily, teasing him back as you twist over onto your back and stretch, forcing your body to wake up the rest of the way.

“I love you.” It’s effortless from his mouth, not rehearsed, said with the ghost of a smile as he mentally files the sight of you still spent on the bed while he begins to strip off items of clothing, abandoning them on the floor.

You arrived late after your shift at the garage, exhausted and starving, only to discover there wasn’t a single empty seat left in the room.

“Aw, sweetheart,” Tig called immediately when he saw you scanning the room. “You snooze, you lose.”

“You’re in my seat,” you shot back.

“There are no assigned seats.”

“You say that every time somebody steals your chair.”

“That’s different.”

You rolled your eyes and moved farther into the room, trying to ignore how everyone suddenly looked entirely too interested in where you were going to sit.

The problem with SAMCRO was that once they noticed something, they became vultures about it.

“Sit on the floor,” Happy offered.

“You sit on the floor.”

“I am on the floor.”

You looked down.

He was.

Cross-legged.

Like some terrifying tattooed monk.

Before you could respond, Jax Teller looked up from where he sat in the armchair near the bar, beer bottle balanced against his thigh.

“C’mere.”

Simple as that.

You blinked. “Where?”

A faint smirk tugged at his mouth.

“Use your context clues, sweetheart.”

Several heads immediately turned.

“Oh, shit,” Juice muttered under his breath.

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re enjoying this.”

“Little bit.”

There really wasn’t anywhere else to sit.

And honestly, you and Jax had always existed in each other’s space naturally anyway. You’d known him for years. He stole your fries. You stole his hoodies. You patched up his knuckles when he got reckless. Somewhere along the line, affection had become second nature.

Still—

His lap?

In front of everyone?

Your hesitation must’ve shown because his expression softened slightly.

“Ain’t a big deal.”

That somehow made it worse.

Because suddenly you were very aware that it could become a big deal.

You tried to act casual as you crossed the room.

“You’re all assholes,” you muttered to the others.

“Correct,” Chibs answered cheerfully.

Jax shifted slightly, one hand bracing against the arm of the chair to give you space.

The second you lowered yourself carefully onto his thigh, the entire room went silent for one dramatic beat.

Then:

“OHHHHH, SHIT!”

You closed your eyes immediately.

“Jesus Christ,” you groaned.

Tig nearly fell off the couch laughing.

“Look at his FACE,” Juice wheezed.

“What?” Jax snapped automatically.

“That’s the softest expression I’ve ever seen on a human being,” Opie muttered into his beer.

Jax flipped him off without looking away from you.

And unfortunately?

They were right.

Because the moment you settled against him, instinct kicked in.

His arm slid automatically around your waist to steady you.

Firm.

Warm.

Protective.

Like it belonged there.

Your stomach did a weird little flip.

You were suddenly hyperaware of everything.

How broad he was beneath you.

The heat of him through denim.

The way his fingers rested against your hip absentmindedly.

“You good?” he murmured quietly near your ear.

“Yeah.”

Your voice came out embarrassingly soft.

He smiled slightly.

And somehow that made it easier.

Conversation resumed around you after that, though the occasional smirk still got thrown your way. But after ten minutes, the awkwardness started fading.

After twenty, you stopped sitting so rigidly.

After forty-five, you leaned back against his chest without thinking about it.

Jax’s fingers tapped lazily against your side while he talked business with Chibs.

At some point you stole his beer.

He didn’t complain.

At another point his chin briefly brushed your shoulder when he leaned closer to hear you over the music.

Neither of you moved away.

By the end of the night, you’d forgotten entirely that you were sitting on his lap.

Unfortunately, everyone else remembered.

“Jesus,” Tig said as you finally stood to leave. “They nested.”

“Like fucking lovebirds,” Juice agreed.

“More like a stray dog that followed Jax home,” Happy added.

Jax snorted.

You pointed at all of them accusingly. “You’re the reason women avoid bikers.”

“We’re charming.”

“You’re emotionally illiterate.”

“Also true.”

Jax watched you the whole time you argued with them, smiling into his beer like he couldn’t help it.

It happened again three days later.

Then the next week.

Then constantly.

At first it was always circumstantial.

No room at the bar.

No free chair during church prep.

Packed booth at the diner.

But eventually?

You stopped pretending.

Sometimes there were three empty seats available and you still walked straight toward Jax automatically.

And every single time, without fail, he spread his knees slightly to make room for you before you even reached him.

Like muscle memory.

Like instinct.

The club noticed.

God, did they notice.

“You know chairs exist, right?” Chibs asked one afternoon while you sat sideways across Jax’s lap eating fries off his plate.

“They do,” you answered.

“So why are ye sittin’ there?”

You shrugged. “Comfort.”

Jax’s hand rubbed slowly up and down your thigh absentmindedly while he read paperwork.

Nobody missed it.

Tig looked physically pained by how disgustingly domestic the two of you had become.

“You guys are revolting.”

“You cry during Disney movies,” you reminded him.

“That is unrelated.”

“You cried during Finding Nemo.”

“He LOST HIS SON.”

Jax laughed against your shoulder.

The sound vibrated through you warm and low.

And maybe that was part of the problem.

Because sitting with Jax became easy in a way nothing else was.

You fit together strangely well.

His hands always found you naturally.

Your body relaxed around him automatically.

There was never hesitation anymore.

You’d curl into him during long nights at the clubhouse while he talked business.

Sometimes his chin rested on your shoulder.

Sometimes your fingers played with the rings on his hand absentmindedly.

Sometimes he’d arrive late, exhausted from a run, and the first thing he’d do was sit down and tug you into his lap like he needed the contact.

Nobody said anything during those moments.

Not even the guys.

Because underneath all the teasing, everyone could see it.

You made Jax softer.

And Jax made you feel safe.

The girl appeared six months after the first lap incident.

Blonde.

Tiny shorts.

Too much perfume.

The type that walked into the clubhouse already looking for attention.

She spotted Jax almost immediately.

Which wasn’t unusual.

Women flirted with him constantly.

You normally ignored it.

But tonight was different.

Because she didn’t just flirt.

She touched.

Hands on his shoulders.

Fingers trailing down his arm.

Leaning into him while she laughed too loudly at things that weren’t funny.

You were sitting beside him on the couch at first.

Not on him.

Just close.

But suddenly you felt weirdly out of place.

Which was stupid.

You and Jax weren’t together.

Not officially.

Even if everyone treated you like you were.

Still—

Something ugly twisted in your chest watching her smile at him like that.

So before the feeling could get worse, you stood quietly.

Jax glanced up immediately.

“Where you goin’?”

“Nowhere,” you answered lightly. “Need another drink.”

But instead of coming back to him, you crossed the room and dropped into the empty seat beside Chibs.

The table went weirdly silent.

Because everybody noticed.

Especially Jax.

The blonde blinked at the sudden shift in his attention.

“You were saying?” she purred.

He barely looked at her.

His eyes stayed on you across the room.

You were laughing at something Chibs said now, but it sounded forced even to your own ears.

Jax frowned slightly.

Then the girl touched his chest.

“You wanna get outta here later?”

“No.”

She blinked. “No?”

“No,” he repeated distractedly.

Then he stood up entirely.

Actually stood up.

And walked away from her mid-conversation.

The entire clubhouse erupted instantly.

“OH MY GOD,” Juice screamed.

“She got dumped in real time!”

Tig was choking laughing.

The blonde looked furious.

Meanwhile Jax crossed the room directly toward you like he was being physically pulled there.

You looked up as he stopped beside your chair.

“What’re you doing over here?”

You blinked innocently. “Sitting.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Chibs immediately got up. “Actually, I need another drink.”

“You just got one.”

“Aye. Tragic.”

He disappeared before either of you could stop him.

Leaving only one chair.

Yours.

Jax looked at it.

Then at you.

Then finally said, quieter this time:

“C’mere.”

Your heart stumbled.

“You have a seat.”

“Don’t want it.”

The room had gone suspiciously attentive again.

You narrowed your eyes slightly. “Jax—”

“Baby,” he interrupted softly, “get over here.”

The endearment hit like a gunshot.

Dead silence filled the clubhouse.

Happy actually looked up from his knife.

Your face burned instantly.

Jax seemed to realize what he’d said about half a second too late.

But instead of taking it back—

His expression just softened.

You stood slowly.

Walked toward him slowly.

And the second you settled onto his lap again, his arms wrapped around your waist so tightly it almost felt desperate.

Like he’d been off-balance the entire three minutes you were gone.

The boys lost their minds.

“There they are!”

“Nature is healing!”

“Took Romeo long enough!”

“Somebody kiss somebody already,” Tig shouted.

You buried your burning face against Jax’s shoulder immediately while he laughed quietly into your hair.

But his grip on you never loosened.

Not once.

And later that night, long after the music died down and most of the clubhouse stumbled home drunk, you were still curled in Jax’s lap when he finally tilted your chin upward gently.

“You jealous?”

You opened your mouth immediately. “No.”

His grin widened.

“Liar.”

“She was hanging all over you.”

“She was,” he agreed.

Your stomach twisted again.

Then he brushed his thumb softly along your jaw.

“But I spent the whole time waitin’ for you to come back.”

The air disappeared from your lungs.

Jax’s eyes searched yours carefully.

“You know why?”

You shook your head slightly.

“Because every place else feels wrong now.”

Your heart nearly stopped.

And judging by the way he looked at you after saying it?

His might’ve too.

When he kissed you, finally, the entire world seemed to settle into place around it.

Soft at first.

Careful.

Like both of you were realizing this had been inevitable for a very long time.

Then your fingers slid into his hair and he made this low sound against your mouth that nearly melted you alive.

Somewhere across the clubhouse, Tig yelled:

“FUCKIN’ FINALLY!”

Neither of you even looked up.

Date night was like any other for the pair of you. Will was his calm and collected self, you were excited to finally have him home, to be holding his broad hand as you walked down the street to the restaurant he’d booked.

The whole way through dinner when he became playful. You were practically playing footsie with him under the table and if you were distracted by anything other that wasn’t him, his fingertips would come to any piece of skin he could touch.

It was unusual but you couldn't complain.

His hands were already on you the moment you stepped through the door. He pulled your body to his, his platinum whiskers tickling your neck as he nuzzled in. The warmth of his palms sunk through your clothes, goosebumps already raising to the surface of your skin. You spun on your heels, allowing him to wrap his arms around you.

“Will,” your words were soft.

But he was immediately grabbing your ass under your skirt, boosting you onto the cabinet in the hallway. He placed you gently onto the wood before he turned rough, pressing his lips squarely into yours until you couldn’t breathe.

Your desire travelled down, your juices pooling between your thighs and it’s as if he could sense it. He pressed two fingers directly on your clit, catching the whimper that escaped in his hot mouth.

With his free hand, he yanked your knickers to one side and dipped a finger into your entrance. He worked you until you could take another and then another until your arousal spilled over his digits and your body vibrated.

He didn’t stop there.

Carrying you to the bedroom, he threw you onto the mattress and continued to bring you to orgasm over and over using his fingers, his tongue and his cock.

And that’s how you got to where you were now.

You were motionless, every limb heavy and the only way he could tell you were definitely alive was through your short shallow breathing.

“Baby…”

The stroke on your back sent a shiver down your spine.

“You alright?”

Your groan is muffled by the soft bedding underneath your weight, each stroke of his hand making your body tingle until the aftershock came. He saw how your thighs shook and flinched back, heart twinging.

He was worried about you.

“I’m gonna get some supplies.”

He’s pretty sure you nodded.

The mattress rocked as he got off the bed, the sound of him finding some sweatpants and pulling them on before he left the room, his footsteps disappearing.

Everything he had done brought you so much pleasure, your body genuinely filled with warmth and love but fuck, were your muscles protesting. You were too scared to lift up your head, your face remaining pressed into the sheets to stop the room from spinning. Your mind was fuzzy, unable to think of anything more than him.

Yet you couldn’t be angry, he had gotten you to a state of pure, unadulterated bliss you’d never felt before. It was just unfortunate that he’d had to do the thing he thought you were joking about to get you there.

In the kitchen, he assumed you were mad, scrap that you were probably furious.

He assumed you’d have wanted something nice for your first date since he was back, instead some primal instinct consumed him and well, he didn’t think he’d shove his thumb up your asshole either.

But once he had, he didn’t quite expect you to unfurl the way you did.

Your asshole was tender, you squeezed and relaxed it a few times to solidify the discomfort you were feeling. Will had threatened to do it so much in the past, you guessed it would turn you on, just how much you never knew.

When he forced his single digit in there, you didn’t expect your walls to clench so hard, you’d thrust out his cock. Didn’t think you’d squirt all over his lower body uncontrollably, the rest of you convulsing, speaking utter gibberish as your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

He tapped his index finger on the countertop whilst the kettle boiled.

The cupboards had been raided for anything and everything and he still doesn’t think it’s enough to make this right. The tray he normally used to serve breakfast in bed was filled with snacks both good and bad for you. He had milk slowly heating on the hob, drinking chocolate in a mug, and was waiting impatiently for water to put in a hot water bottle.

You wondered if he would freak out to find you still laying here so you braved rolling over.

The chilly evening air started to reach your exposed front, the fine hairs beginning to stand, your nipples growing hard yet it was such a relief.

“Thank god, you’re alive.”

You manage to open your eyes, the ceiling holding it’s position.

“You tried to kill me,” you say breathlessly.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’ve brought something to make it up to you.”

Your head snaps up and he presents the tray to you.

“Yay!”

He notices how you try to raise your arms, they only list a few centimetres but at least you have a smile on your face. Walking around the bed, you follow him, head falling from side to side to watch what he’s doing.

He kisses your forehead, “Just getting the last few things.”

You look near your right foot and gaze upon the abandoned tray, your tongue flicking over your lips. Will has cut the fruit meticulously, dealt sweet treats into little dishes and when you turn your head to the bedside table, there’s a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

Everything just out of your reach.

He reenters the room to your grunting as you struggle to move.

“D’you need some help?”

You flutter your lashes, “Please.”

He chuckles, joining you on the bed, fluffing up the pillows ready for you to rest on. Tucking his hands underneath your armpits, he lifts you up like you weigh nothing, hauling you into position with your accompanying giggle.

Climbing out of bed, he steps towards the puddle of clothes on the floor, plucking his shirt from the pile. He helps you put it on before reaching for the tray and positioning it on your lap, immediately you take a chunk of apple.

“I really am sorry,” he brushes the hair from your face. “I dunno what came over me.”

He places the hot water bottle low, the subtle heat soothing the ache between your legs.

“You don’t have to apologise, it was really good.”

Your mouth salivates as the sharpness of the fruit hits your tastebuds and you smile at him sweetly as you chew.

“Even the thumb?”

You laugh as you swallow, “Even the thumb.”

The weight falls off his shoulders as he wraps an arm over yours. He draws you closer to his frame and you sink in, finding the strength to draw your legs closer, making yourself comfy. His free hand reaches for the remote, switching on the television just for some background noise.

You pick another slice of apple and bring it to his lips, he takes a bite, your finger approaching his mouth. He sucks in the last of the fruit along with your digit, sucking the flavours from it. The temperature rises in your cheeks and you snatch your hand back before swatting him in jest.

“Don’t you start.”

He couldn’t help himself, you made it too easy.

Once you had eaten what you could and downed your hot chocolate, the heat settled into every inch of your body. Will hugged you near, his hand sliding soothingly over your waist, his chest rising and falling in a slowing rhythm.

Your eyes were getting heavier but before you fell asleep, he squeezed you.

“Let me clean this up.”

You didn’t want him to, grumbling in disapproval. You felt his smile in your hair and the he kissed your crown, easing away from you.

Collecting everything, he carried the tray to the kitchen and left it on the side like he’d planned. When he returned to you, you were sitting on your heels, playing with the hem of his shirt over your thighs.

He tipped his head to the side, not saying a word.

“Would you clean me up too?” You ask timidly.

Coming over to you, he holds out a hand. You take it, slipping off the bed and allowing him to escort you to the bathroom.

He fetches a new face towel, running it under hot water as you perch on the edge of the tub. Crouching down, he lifts up one of your legs and places your ankle on his shoulder, his soft blue eyes gazing up at you.

You spread yourself wider, presenting the mess of dried cum, small bruises decorating your inner thighs were he had once bared his teeth.

His touch was gentle, wiping from bottom to top in methodical strokes.

Once finished, he placed your foot on the floor before asking you to turn around. You do so, resting your knees on the tiles, arching your back for him to get a better look. He parts your butt cheeks apart to inspect your puckered hole.

You twitch when you feel two fingers approach, calming down as he rubs cold cream over the area. A light tap comes to your ass after you lean into his touch then came a kiss, featherlight before he got up.

He guides you back to the bed, opening up the covers for you to get in.

Climbing in on the opposite side, Will shuffled closer, his arm draping over your stomach. His hand curled under your ribcage, pulling you into his body. You form your body to fit snuggly into his shape, the heat of his breath seeping into your crown.