Winter’s Bookshelf

The first trip being non-consensual and THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS (not great not ideal options), but presented to him as there being! viable! alternative! other options ("Get the next person on the list--that Paraguyan chemist. She wants to go!") then Stratt forcing him upon the Hail Mary saying verbatim "I don't respect you very much" while Grace is begging and yelling "You're murdering me!... I don't want to die! Don't send me off to die!" and drugging him to induce amnesia to force him into this situation

(and yet he still does his best and continues to risk his life and all he has for his students, for his colleagues and friends, for Earth and the human race. he is mad and upset and numb and terrified, but he is a good man and he has already sacrificed so much to this project and there is nothing left to do but sacrifice more to try to make his own best outcome for saving Earth and returning home)

["It's a dark and depressing feeling to have all your closest friends and colleagues get together and decide you should die."]

vs

Grace being so upset about his close friend Rocky and his entire species dying, fully knowing and accepting the consequences in choosing to go after Rocky, going, then FINDING him and saying ""Yes! I'm definitely going to die!" I don't know why I said that. I guess... well, if I wasn't able to find Rocky, I'd set course for Earth".

he didn't even consider failing to find Rocky. he goes that's my buddy and we'd die for each other and I am his only option and of course I will make my decision with all those facts and be secure in it.

and Rocky's FIRST reaction to learning that Grace has accepted his death, IMMEDIATELY goes "No. You no can die. You are friend... Then you go home. Go home now. I wait here. Erid maybe send another ship someday." because that is his FRIEND and his first instinct is that he does not want his friend to die so let's think of any other option to keep him alive (knowing that Grace already made his choice and he must respect that decision)

[Rocky's first reaction is to figure out how Grace can live because he has already given so much, too much, but Rocky will only accept this if they can find a solution to let Grace live]

The juxtaposition of Grace being given false facts and forced into a suicide mission vs having the facts and realistic view of the situation and deciding on the suicide mission anyways

AND

the difference between Stratt and Rocky's attitudes towards Grace as an individual and the meaning of his life and death even though they both are in the situation where they know there is only one real answer to the question of "one life vs an entire species"

Maybe you have a reading goal to read the classics or litfic or get through a dense nonfiction book. Great, you can and will get through it, I believe in you,

BUT- let yourself start with something fun and frivolous if you’re not reading bc it’s intimidating to start the book! heck, go to your library and pick like five books that look fun and entertaining to you and try to start several. Return any that don’t capture your attention in that moment and continue any that do. Let yourself read chaotically. Chaotic reading is better than not reading anything.

look, my brain gets quirky with it sometimes with reading and I have to pick books up and start them in the middle and just jump around reading sections out of order. There’s no reading police to tell you you’re reading a book the wrong way. You can get a cheap used book or library book so there’s no pressure to “properly read” and enjoy the book you want to read.

the act of reading is the best way to start!

Book that was bad: this sucked 👎