Suck My Star Spangled Dick

obviously unplanned moments like this are why I love SNL

5 little words to bring your partner to their knees…

“please get on your knees”

No! This is not how these posts work!

u can tell who the ancients of tumblr are bc they’re the ones not posting anything abt where to find them if this site collapses…we know this site isnt going anywhere….the apocalypse couldnt stop this garbage…..it has the cybernetic code of a cockroach

Do you think the monsters from Monsters Inc have had to start using internet memes to make kids laugh

Sully: Here comes dat boi! Mike: -comes in on a unicycle- oh shoot whaddup

This is my favorite type of postmodernism

i’ve said it before i’ll say it again there’s a difference between lady gaga singing born this way in 2011 and taylor swift singing “shade never made anyone less gay” (whatever the fuck that means) to profit off of it in 2019

The difference is that Lady Gaga is bisexual and Taylor Swift is straight

this remains one of my favorite posts of all time

The problem with these “inanimate objects work fine” headcanon is that it’s supposed to be a soul for a soul and MP3 players don’t have those

you’re tryna tell me there’s not a single soul song on that Zune? 

You know what, I take it back. The Soul Stone’s already reaching by considering Thanos’ “love” for Gamora valid. It shouldn’t have a problem with an MP3 player.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is why nurses are so important.

i don’t wanna reblog that gifset of kate winslet freezing her ass off in titanic but she actually got double pneumonia from filming those scenes without a wetsuit. and all bc james cameron wanted the fabric to be see through when wet. when’s the final straw when do we snap and kill every man

Didn’t they film this ish on a set though..? Couldn’t they have just… heated the water?

But then her nipples wouldn’t have been hard. Please be considerate of male heterosexuality and entitlement whenever you’re trying to rationally prevent a woman from getting an avoidable illness in her workplace. Thanks.