Providence Falconers Triumvirates
ANXIETY TRIO
DISASTER TRIO
PARENT TRIO
The sequel to this.

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Providence Falconers Triumvirates
ANXIETY TRIO
DISASTER TRIO
PARENT TRIO
The sequel to this.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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one time at a wax museum i thought one of the tour guides was a wax person cuz they were just standing there not moving so i go up to them like āwho the fuck is this supposed to beā then they just looked at me and laughed
Zimbits AU where Jack works at the wax museum and Bitty visits and heās like āWhoās this guy? Heās so pretty, why donāt I know? Probably a model.ā or something to that effect and our boy Jack is frozen and has no idea how to tell the very charming and attractive visitor that he actually just works there. So he stands still (as a statue) until Bitty walks away.
And then somewhere down the line Bitty runs into Jack on the street or wherever and he doesnāt plan on it because this guy is apparently a celebrity and he doesnāt want to be a bother BUT itās been bugging him for days and so he goes up, all apologetic, and asks who Jack is because he saw him in the wax museum.
So follows an awkward conversation along the lines of āYes. Iām in the wax museum.ā āI know. Thatās why Iām asking.ā āNo. Me. I was there.ā āYes. But what for?ā
And then it all comes out and Jack is embarrassed and Bitty is embarrassed (āDear lord, why didnāt you say something?!ā) and they talk around it in circles until they realise theyāre not talking about it anymore, and theyāre just talking about each other and suddenly itās their first date.
4am story idea: Ford (and Lardo before her) routinely need to go to Costco for large supply purchases. But they have to make these trips in secret because you cannot let any of the SMH team loose in a store with that many bulk sized snacks.
Holster and Ransom once came back with 40 lbs of chicken nuggets, a gallon of cocktail pickles, and beer - nothing else. It was considered a successful trip.
Bitty came back with 50lb sacks of flour, sugar, about 200 eggs, and a half gallon of heavy whipping cream.
There are some of the boys who are legit useful as extra muscle, reminders, and general company. Though just be prepared to deal with their personalities.
For Dex, even when the run is only for essentials, āDo we really need that?ā is going to be uttered ad nauseum for the whole trip. And if you donāt make the shopping list specific enough beforehand, be prepared to deal with him spending at least ten minutes per item debating (with his companions and himself) between brands (up-front price vs price-per-unit).
When he was on the team and whenever heās in town, Jack could be trusted to keep things on track. However, he presents the opposite challange that Dex gives: there is no sense of budget with him. No, price isnāt always directly proportional to quality, and no I donāt care that you want to pay.
As long as his steady stream of verbal consciousness is considered tolerable, Tango is perhaps the most useful. Not only is he very eager to help out while staying well-behaved and good at following directions; there will frequently be a question that highlights an important item forgotten on the list.
Tango: I attended sunday school after mass every week when I was growing up and the only thing I got was a complex about inferior abs
Tango: Like, you spend puberty staring down Jesus all day
Tango: Why was he so shredded?
āListen, Jack, you beautiful beast of a man, thereās an art show down at that museum thatās on the corner of sixteenth and forty-third! You remember, the one that displayed Lardoās stuff last year? Anyways, theyāve got this big show coming up, and one of their artists pulled out and now they need someone to fill the slot! Guess who pulled some strings and got you in?ā
That had had been the excited voicemail Shitty had left Jack that had started it all, but now, amidst the swarm of people, Jack was beginning to rethink his decision. He was past the point of uncomfortable with the crowd of people in the gallery.
The three photographers who were also on display tonight alongside Jack were dismissive when heād tried to make conversation with them earlier, although that probably had something more to do with Jackās terrible small talk skills. Alexei, one of the gallery assistants, had handed Jack a drink with a reassuring pat on the arm at the beginning of the night. It gave his hands something to hold on to rather than hiding them in his pockets.
The crowd was starting to dwindle, at least, but there was still another two hours left before the evening was officially over.
A commotion towards the front of the gallery caught Jackās attention as he realized there were some uniformed police officers coming in. The gallery owner, Georgia, rushed forward in obvious concern. Jack couldnāt make out their conversation, but it ended with Georgia leading the police upstairs, presumably to her office where they could talk without several people trying to listen in.
Hushed whispers broke out as people began to speculate and wonder why cops were suddenly here. Several took it as a sign that the evening was over and began to take their jackets and leave, which Jack was secretly grateful for. Part of him wished he could leave with them, but it was probably bad manners to leave his own art showing early.
Half an hour later, the crowd had thinned out substantially before Georgia and the police made another appearance. As they passed by Jackās display, one of the police officers, blond, cute, and exactly the type that would catch Jackās eye, suddenly stopped to contemplate his collection of photos.
āBittle! Letās go!ā called one of the other cops by the front door.
āComing!ā Bittle said before he joined his colleagues.
In another minute, they were gone, and Georgia was turned around to face what was left of the attendees with a steel expression that gave nothing away. She pasted on a smile, and continued Ā the rest of the evening like nothing had happened, though the exhibition did end an hour earlier than planned.
Two days later, Jack received an unexpected phone call from the art gallery
āJack, congratulations! Someone buy two of your pieces,ā Alexei announced happily.
āWhat?ā Jack said a little breathlessly, having just stepped off the treadmill. He wiped the sweat from his brow with a towel. āSomeone bought two of them?ā
āYou not have to sound surprised, you know. You are really talented.ā
āI just didnāt expect anything so fast, I guess.ā
Alexei laughed lightly. āHeās picking up this afternoon. You should come meet him.ā
āDid he want to meet me?ā Jack asked haltingly. He wasnāt sure how this buy and sell process worked with art galleries.
āI mean, he not really say, but you should come by gallery at two oāclock anyways.ā
āUh, Alexeiā¦ā Jack started because heād literally just met the gallery assistant less than two weeks ago. The last thing he needed was someone to start playing matchmaker in his life.
āHe very cute! I promise! Okay, see you later,ā Alexei shouted, and hung up the phone before Jack could protest.
Jack considered not going, but in the end, his curiosity about who bought his photos won out.
When he walked in the gallery, Alexeiās eyes immediately lit up from behind the counter. āOh, wow, what coincidence! Photographer is here!ā
The person whom Alexei had been previously talking to turned around, and Jack was stunned to realize it was the police officer from earlier on in the week, the one who had stopped to look at Jackās pictures.
āOh,ā he said in surprise. āI didnātāIā
āUh, hi,ā Jack said nervously. āUm.ā
āEric tell me how much he like your pictures,ā Alexei interrupted happily. āHe buy!ā
āYeah, Iāve been looking for something to put up in my living room for a while,ā Eric said sheepishly. āYour pictures caught my eye.ā
āWhich ones did you get?ā Jack asked as he eyed the brown, paper packages on the counter.
āThe ones of the trees and the pond, but it looks like they were taken in different seasons.ā
āYeah, that was behind my parentās house,ā he admitted.
āReally? Thatās neat.ā Eric picked up the two wrapped photos. He paused, and almost shyly, asked, āI donāt suppose you want to get a coffee or something? Iād love to hear more behind the pictures.ā
āUm, yeah,ā Jack said nodding, āIād like that.ā
As they were headed out the door, Jack caught Alexei grinning widely and giving him two, very enthusiastic thumbs up.

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refreshing a random prompt generator and this is what i get:
thatās
thatās just the comic
omgcp characters as things my swimmers have done
im a swimming teacher, ages 4+, and kids are weird
bitty: made me cookies for the end of term and made me cry with joy
jack: sat at my desk and took the register themselves because they were ātired of waiting around for you all the timeā
shitty: asked to do press ups at the end of every length but got so tired they lay face down on the floor
lardo: dumped an entire bucket of water over my head. i was dry
ransom: came swimming for the first time in their life and moved up two groups on the very same day
holster: slipped off the diving block, styled it out, ended up doing a backflip
chowder: made me a birthday card with sparkly gel pen. it wasnāt my birthday
nursey: didnāt come for any lessons all term but rocked up in the last week for assessments and walked out with a certificate
dex: broke their float, ātapedā it back together with their goggles and insisted it was as good as new
whiskey: āif you donāt kick your legs, then youāll drown. thatās about the long and the short of itā theyāre 6
tango: countered every single one of my questions with a question. every week
At one point, Jack answers Bitty withĀ āYes, Captain.ā
Then pauses.
Blinks.
Bitty blinks too.
They stare at each other.
Jackās pupils dilate.
Bittyā¦
āJACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN. YOU CANāT MAKE THIS A SEX THING! I WONāT BE ABLE TO FACE THE BOYS, NEXT YEAR!ā
if ngozi makes the last hockey shit with ransom and holster ākissing center iceā i will cry a whole fucking ocean
me trying to prepare for the frogs not being frogs anymore:

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jack zimmermann/burt of burtās bees is the hot new otp kids
Holster: would you leave me for Burt of Burtās Bees
Jack: ā¦.
Holster: ā¦Jack
Jack: Iām thinking
Holster: JACK
Jack and Bitty as a designated endgame otp have had plenty of ups and downs and drama to go through as a couple already without:
- cheating
- lying
- hurtfully withholding informationĀ āfor the other personās sakeā until it leads to a breakup
- withholding informationĀ āfor the other personās sakeā because they donāt want to seem clingy⦠which Bitty did for a couple weeks, but then he called Jack and opened up about all of it and Jack responded with action and words
- even considering cheating tbh
- leading some kind of double life apart from the other
- one person placing undue emotional labor on the other and having to be hand-held into being an equally supportive partner
- allowing toxic masculinity to make one of them try to subvert their weaknesses into taciturn or gruff dismissal that leads to the other person walking out
- letting physical distance become some arbitrary wrench thrown into their love for each other
- breaking up for a while orĀ ātaking a breakā lol
- sulking or harboring hurt feelings for no good goddamn reason
-Ā losing their unique individual identities and lives to the relationshipĀ
- losing any of their friends or having to modify existing intimate friendships to pacify insecurities in the relationship
So many television and film writers said it couldnāt be done, whilst gazing at their obscene salaries and assistants and interns running around at all hours doing their bidding.Ā
Ngozi did it in an online comic using crowdfunding.
[Original]
In order to get Bitty to stop chirping Jackās perfectly acceptable choices of clothing every single time that he goes shopping, he decides to bring home one item that is justā¦horrendous in every way to look at. It lessens the blow of any under armour highligher basketball shorts he actually does like.Ā
So it starts out with the basics, one ugly patterned tie, a hawaiian shirt, some pants that looked like they were recycled from the fabric of some childās racecar sheets. (āTheyāre name brandāĀ āOh really Jack? What brand is that? Nick Jr?ā)
The best one, though comes the day he returned from shopping for some new running sneakers. Jack walks through the door with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.Ā āBits youāll never believe what I foundā āWhat?ā Jack starts walking towards him.Ā And his shoes. His goddamn shoes.Ā They start lighting up.Ā
massachusetts? you mean that place from check please? you know thatās not real, right?

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Delay on Year Four Launch
Hey Readers,
While Iām well into making comics for Year Four, I want to have a slightly more consistent update schedule than in the past. This means working much further out to make sure comics are ready for posting. Because of this, I donāt feel comfortable starting Year Four before the end of March. The story is moving right along and I have pages ready to go, but I donāt want to leave readers on a limb too many times throughout the final year of this comic. So for now, thank you for your patience and please know that Check, Please will be back soon!
Iām also currently working on a script for a very exciting yet-to-be-formally-announced project, which has a hard deadline. (That also admittedly threw a wrench in things.) But Iāll continue to work on Year Four and share extras on this blog!
Again, thank you for understanding. During the five years of drawing this comic, you guys have been kind. And I canāt wait to share Bittyās senior year with you!
Thank you, as always,
Ngozi
for graduation, lardo makes a bedazzled, cropped version of this sweatshirt for shitty:
he cries.Ā