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I do think most childhoods are pretty traumatic just, by default. even run of the mill taking your shit, grounding you, setting strict rules (which would be absurd for an adult) style parenting. Physical and sexual violence on top of that is more fuel to the fire, and certainly contributes a heavy mental load, but children are fundamentally not treated like people by most of the world. They're an investment; a form of useful property that might someday become an endebted human being. This is the context under which all child abuse occurs; but the context itself is rather deplorable, don't you think?
I hate rgu fan's refusal to accept the idea that the show is racist. anthy is a south-asian coded racialized character who unfortunately plays into a lot of stereotypes associated with south asians. the only reason we know she is south asian is because of the bindi on her forehead. akio as the representative of the patriarchy is south asian and plays into the "brown rapist" stereotype. the only reason anthy and akio were racialized was to Other them. to say that the show is a thoughtful depiction of racism and colonialism is to give the show far more credit than it deserves. to say that race is a blind spot in the show is doing much the same. that's not to say that any analysis of utena through the lense of race is worthless, it actually adds to the show's critique of the structures of oppression. especially since racism is kind of inseparable to them. but that analysis can go hand in hand with acknowledging the show's inherent racism. a lot of south asians, including me identify with anthy as a character and they have given a lot of excellent meta that enriches the show but i don't want anyone to use that fact as a card to deny her orientalized depiction.
to add to this, a lot of rgu fans who try to analyse the show through a racial lense will impose western ideas of race onto the characters, this feels like ignorance of the very idea that racism can exist beyond the white/poc dichotomy and it's racism within itself. every character in the show is japanese in a japanese setting, anthy and akio are racialized due to being the only south asians in a majorly japanese setting. any analysis of utena that doesn't take this fact into account is worthless.
deformation maniac collection pocket umineko no naku koro ni vol. 1

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Magnolia (1999), dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
My name is Donnie Smith, and I have lots of love to give.
Brazil, Rio de Janeiro 2000, David Alan Harvey.
demon
what's the sitch?

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One of my hottest transfeminist takes that I have is regarding drag and ballroom actually. Read the whole thing in depth instead of skimming it then getting mad at me.
I think that the US transfemme desire to disown drag/ballroom is a symptom of both white cultureâs destruction of ancestral ties and the importance of cultural continuity, and of the predominantly white ignorance of it as a gentrified Black art form similar to how whites treat other Black art. They want a destruction of it because they see the effects and results of the gentrified version and assume thatâs all there is/was.
In particular itâs frustrating because while some drag queens are cis, a lot are trans women, non-binary, or otherwise transmisogynized and drag/ballroom and the tipping culture associated with it existed in part because the transmisogynized are so fucking unemployable and it provided/s a method beyond mutual aid for the redistribution of money, through the labor of performance.
In relation to trans women, I view drag queens as a pathway to transness similar to crossdressers, femboys, (unfortunately) sissies, and similar - where although the perception of them currently may cause harm to the perception of trans women at large due to the ways they compromise with predominantly white cishetero society to allow transfemmes to explore their gender, they are, in fact, still functionally people within the spectrum of transfemininity even if they havenât fully accepted their gender expansiveness for themselves. Harm they cause to the perception of transfemmes does not lessen them from that societal assignment, any less than we can say Caitlyn Jenner, Blair White, or Kelly Cadigan are less trans women because of the harm theyâve done to the perception of trans women. They are all, in effect, varying levels of transmisogynized whether they realize it or not.
When I was in DC I knew a lot of drag kings/queens and literally 95% of them are trans and either came to drag/ballroom as a way to explore their gender through art and/or make money bc poor, or started it and it was a gateway to unlocking their gender. Not counting the cis performers elevated by stuff like RuPaul, who is explicitly transphobic, I think I can count on my hands how many cis performers Iâve met. Hell, even with RuPaul shit a number of drag artists who have been on his shows later come out as trans (such as Bosco, who I literally grew up with), in part because they suppressed their transness publicly to maintain their career until they reached a point the blowback of coming out wound impact them less. Pulling a F1NNSTER to keep cash flowing for survival, if you will.
Iunno like. The earliest Balls we have records of were literally 1880-90s, predominantly Black (the oldest drag/ballroom performer we have records of was a Black trans woman from DC), and was one of the only safe places for trans people to exist as themselves. So I find the idea of writing it off due to a much more recent gentrification and commercialization of it as ignorant as how people often treat other demonizes or commercialized Black art.
âI just donât like the spectacle it makes of transness and harm it causes-â
Baby all Blackness is spectacle to crackers and An Amount of modern drag is white people doing minstrelsy of all Black women - not in the sense of gender at all but in the sense of race.
Like. A lot of Black culture in the US specifically is Big and Loud *because* of the repression of it weâve faced and the force towards respectability politics, which has echoed to queer culture because queer culture in the US is made vast majority from Black culture. Our existence is a spectacle so why not make a show out of why they hate us and try to erase us so that they canât get rid of even more.
Hating âthe spectacleâ of an actual performance art form is solidly rooted in white supremacy and white cultural notions of propriety/respectability. Many aspects of âspectacleâ seen in drag are directly taken from Ballroom or adapted from it/vogueing.
In summary: traditions are meant to change with situational, cultural, and environmental need but still be sustained as part of a culture. Gentrification is a poison to this that makes it harder for those the culture belongs to to practice it as it should. White ancestral shame is a poison that makes them think they should nuke everything historic/cultural that makes them uncomfortable regardless of whether itâs theirs or whether itâs something they stole and gentrified. Also yeag like,,, itâs a job/gig income predominantly for societal âundesirablesâ to make money when theyâre under/unemployed due to marginalization. And itâs also been gentrified to *gestures at RuPaul, et al.*
No matter what you think about drag or ballroom, poor predominantly racialized trans folks still gon be doing it because it is part of our culture no matter what tv shows and big names and people who have only seen those do to it, and itâs always going to be seen as one of the âdisreputableâ pathways to transness that makes other trans people look down on them because of the complicated ties to transmisogyny, because until someone publicly says the words âIm also a trans womanâ, WE also view them as a personification of what we fear the world sees us asâa man in a dressârather than an egg finding their way to gender in a way we deem unacceptable because it doesnât align with how we think it âshouldâ be done.
And I think thatâs on us honestly, not on them. If we say it can take as long or as quickly and as easily or messily for someone to sort out their gender as needed, this also has to be extended to the transmisogynized we view as âdisreputableâ regardless of if/when they reach a conclusion we deem acceptable or whether they die in the shell, never able to remove their masks fully.
Aight yall gon head and eviscerate me now
Also as a clarification, I am not saying that you, personally, must enjoy/like/do drag or ballroom. Im saying that drag, crossies, sissies, femboys, etc. are all transmisogyny paradoxes because of the way they interface gender exploration with surviving doing so in a transmisogynistic system by compromising for safety or a degree of acceptance within spaces theyâve found accept it.
Like, as an example, I *hate* sissies because of the racism endemic to sissy culture, but I still recognize theyâre transmisogynized regardless of the harm they do or the disgust I feel towards them.
I also had someone comment on it as a facet of US cultural imperialism, of which I do want to note - drag/ballroom based on Black origins was spreading outside the US back in the 1800s/early 1900s too, thereâs photos from other countries of balls explicitly influenced by Black Balls mainly started by Black folks in said countries, an example being early 1900s photos from France of both transmasculine and transfeminine Black people. While modern gentrified drag is 100% exported as part of US cultural imperialism, its original spreads outside of the US were via Black diaspora in-culture. I honestly couldnât tell you definitively where it stuck and where it didnât from that original wave, but itâs important to know it existed that way.
I have some physical books on this I might see if I can add to the archive tbh, if I can Iâll reblog this again with links.
what you people just simply dont seem to understand is-- beatrice. listen. i am giving you my love for ushiromiya battler. become the kind of woman battler wants. take the golden hair he likes. take the blue eyes he likes. take this personality that matches his. and then, ...you must love him in my place. and then, if possible, you must be loved by him. i... can no longer love him. please, take my feelings that went unfulfuilled, ...my feelings that i couldnt hold back, ...and make my wish come true. from this day forward, you are no longer the rokkenjima ghost that lives only to play pranks. from this day forward, you will become the master of this island and wait for the day that he comes to fulfill his promise. from this day forward, you will do this in my place. so, from this day forward, you will no longer be me. please forgive me for pushing all of my worries onto you, ...while i alone try to find happiness. from this day forward, you have the right to hate everything. from this day forward, you are the golden witch, beatrice. and, one day... you will destroy everything, revive everything. ...you will bring blessings to all lovers. when that happens... ...i pray that you and i...will both succeed in finding happiness. from this day forward, you will no longer be me. from this day forward, i will no longer be you. the two of us will split apart a single soul and share it. and though, of course, neither of us will possess a complete soul... im sure our dreams will be more numerous than those of humans. let us be blessed... my dear... beatrice... no one will be able to see your form. however, i alone can see you. and if you are loved by many people... im sure that everyone will be able to see you someday. with love, they will be able to "see" us...
yall got any good writing? We got hype moments and aura (and limp bizkit)

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run, rabbit, RUN!
Flee the past, into a future of nothingness
i've neglected to comment on recent discussions regarding pedophilia, incest, and related kinks for a variety of reasons, but it is a topic I can not in good conscience scroll by and say nothing forever.
i've outlined in a past post my opinion on the concept of pedophilia (thanks to tumblr's useless search function I can't find the post) but regardless, I subscribe to the model of human sexuality that goes as follows: it is so obviously socially constructed and conditioned there is really no point in arguing it is innate, and innate/'biological' arguments feed directly into reactionary sentiment surrounding sexuality. probably preaching to the choir here but felt the need to clarify regardless.
patriarchal societies (and resulting "family units") have widespread issues with child sexual abuse and sexuality. it has been stated before that incestuous abuse is an inevitable result of patriarchal family structure--especially with the role of the father. at the same time, there exists this persistent sexual shame and repression that--especially when coupled with entitlement--is a breeding ground for depravity. these things seem contradictory on the surface: everyone knows of the nefarious pedophile, but victims of sexual abuse (especially children) (especially if the perpetrator is a family member) are so often failed by law enforcement and peers alike when they try to do everything 'correctly'. everyone insists they hate pedophiles and rapists but the second that shadowy cartoon villain image is shattered by reality, they refuse to accept it. the reality is simple: perpetrators of such crimes are more likely to be someone you know, someone you trust, even someone you love. there are also common misconceptions about csa that I do hold the "innate" model of pedophilia accountable for: not enough people are aware that an adult can sexually abuse both children and adults, and be "attracted" to both. while some offenders may have a preferred age, they are still opportunists, and not all are wealthy or respected enough to have preferences in victims like those in the epstein files. I put "attracted" in quotes earlier because the way people who commit sex crimes are approached in most related research is frankly stupid as hell and it's very hard to take any of it seriously. or "interviews with pedophiles". to me this is about as useful and insightful as true crime content. oh well, it'll still be taken far more seriously by society at large than anything i'm saying here will, because terms like "feminism" and "social construct" are scary buzzwords to many.
now this is where I may upset people. a lot of discourse surrounding incest and pedophilia is extremely online. like i'm going to be so completely honest, I do not give a fuck if someone watches an anime with incest in it, or engages in some sort of sexual roleplay with another adult. do I think lolicon and shotacon are particularly helpful additions to society? no. but these did not appear out of nowhere as some sort of conspiracy to make people abuse children. rather, they feed into already existing power structures. cart before the horse type of situation. anime in particular gets a lot of flack for its themes but the men making whatever media you find acceptable will form secret societies, blackmail each other, and even travel internationally for the opportunity to rape children so perhaps the reality is capitalism and patriarchy reward this behavior universally.
the current attitude towards victims of csa/incest is hostile and far removed from reality and my recommendation is reading about how average people and the legal system actually react to these cases in real life. about how there are entire organizations whose purpose is defending child abusers. it's ironic, isn't it? how the fuck do you get to such a point, where "pedophile" is such a horrible thing to be, but the money and legal power sure seems to paint a very different picture? this is again where I mention the 'very online' phenomenon. a lot of outrage you see online is performative. I feel like as social media use becomes more common, this will be more and more of an issue. we have a unique ability today to hear from and communicate with more people than ever before. with that comes consequences if you do take internet algorithms driven by engagement as accurate portrayals of wider communities offline. remember outrage drives engagement. you are more likely to see something online that pisses you off. maybe it'll even be this post today.
father-daughter incest is the most commonly reported. this is only as "natural" as the concept of the nuclear family.
by the way I chose to post this not because I aim to argue with any particular user. I was just genuinely furious over some of the things i've read. I can look away one or two times, i've been on the internet long enough, but it's been like, a month. my biological father is a serial sex offender, okay? i've known these contradictions in society a long time. coincidentally, i've never wanted to live