waga baba bobo

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

imagine a pleasantly hefty black and white horse for me. now I want you to do absolutely nothing. isn't the horse enough on her own? from here the stage is yours. she could gallop or roll over or have braided hair even. wold is your oyster

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?

having a body made of meat sucks ass

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one

"you couldnt make seinfeld today" you couldve made seinfeld in 45 B.C.