and she's holding on my heart like a hand grenade

i can’t listen to a rich person telling me anything about staying strong ……….i’ll stay strong if you gave me $1000

alternate narrative: it’s actually fine if someone found me a little weird or even off-putting. i am a little weird and it’s no big deal

ok this is really sweet

I remember a more innocent time, when two bros would chill in a hot tub, six feet apart, not because of a global pandemic, but merely because they were not gay.

can’t wait to be married in a fucked up sort of double housewife situation

nobody makes the money all we do is cook dinner

why don’t you plant some lavender and when it blooms you can squeeze a leaf or two between your fingers and the smell will calm you down. how about you do that. bitch

good idea

thank you. i have a lot of other good ideas as well

such as?

have gay sex

if i was billie eilish i would tweet who the fuck are the beatles and turn off my phone