"Horrifically Homosexual"

"In my most humble opinion, I think you look quite lovely."

"What about the least humble?"

"What?"

"If that's your most humble opinion, then what is your least humble one?"

"Hmm. In my least humble opinion, I believe that anyone who sees you in that dress and cannot be you or have you should want to kill themselves."

And this guy in this letter was like "Dear father, dear mother, I am now here in Rome! I am sure to prosper thanks to how excellently you have raised me. I have commissioned a picture of myself in my new uniform, so you can see how handsome I look in it."

A people who have an age-old tradition, that when warriors left home to go to war, their family that remains home prepare funeral goods for them while they wait, sewing them the clothes and preparing the tools and all that they will be buried with - to emotionally prepare them to the hard possibility that the one who left will not return home alive. If the warrior returns, their burial goods are all burned in a bonfire that is lit for the celebration of their return.

And to this modern day, mothers of the culture will tell their children "fine, but let me take your measures for burial clothes before you go" as a way of telling them that something they're about to do is lethally stupid. Sharing stories about just how dramatic their mothers are, someone tells their group of friends that his mother once actually took out a measuring tape to start taking his measures when he said he's leaving home for a work trip.