My interests may or may not be consistent. Right now I am in full HLVRAI mode. I love stories about forced loss of identity and my favorite fanfic genre is whump. No DNIs, if I do not like you I will block you. Feel free to send me asks!!! I love getting them and I promise I'm nice
Fics:
Who Are You, Really? - A character study of Player-Gordon that takes place between HLAGE and HL2VRAI.
My Heart's Here Upon My Sleeve - Additional Voices Cosmic Horror High School AU
Important Tags:
#player gordon. if that term confuses you I wrote a whole essay that you can read here. feel free to also use this tag if you want!
#my work. a collection of things that I have written/drawn.
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i do understand the appeal of reaction videos because in a way it simulates the experience of showing your friend a thing you like and watching them laugh at all the funny moments. and you get to go haha yeah i knew youd laugh at that part. i feel so correct about liking this. feed my ego mr freeman.
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In honour of HLVRAI, here's a little animation I made a few years back and never posted (because I always intended on finishing it and never did oop)
Excuse the mushiness, but hlvrai has been a real comfort for me over the years, I still rewatch it (or any rtvs group stream really) when I need a pick-me-up, cause the jokes still get me and I just love watching these idiots have fun and be so passionate about making something. Whatever Wayne and the gang are cooking for the 16th, I'm frankly beyond hyped <3
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
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"I had these nightmares every single night... what I saw in those dreams, what transpired was beyond my understanding but what was in the grasp of my cognition was the fear. One day the nightmares just... stopped, and that was the day He appeared."
(edit: added alt text) go watch half life alyx but the gnome is too aware by radio tv solutions if y'all liked hlvrai or any of their stuff this is a need to watch
constantly thinking about the relationship between the game, the NPCs/science team, and Gordon/The Player
ID AND CREDIT BELOW:
BEGIN ID
An animatic set to the song "A Human's Touch" by TWRP. The visuals are timed with lyrics, so I'll type the lyrics in quotes "like this", then explain the visuals, then move onto the next lyrics. I hope this format works well for all, and if it does not- feel free to reach out!
"Am I a toy to you, my love?"
Benrey stares up through Gordon's computer, standing on a black and white grid. He is in a beanie and jumpsuit, like many citizens from Half Life 2. He has a small mustache and a shadow over his eyes. He has a neutral expression. With each word of the lyrics, the camera zooms further out to reveal he is in a computer inside Gordon/The Player's room. The room has a PC tower, a chair, a desk, a microphone, a shelf with a VR headset and games on it, and a few posters. One poster is of "Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days" and another is of two chimps grooming eachother. With the following musical beats, the room changes slightly to show passage of time. The chair moves around, things appear and disappear on the desk, and the chimp poster is torn down for another poster that says "Gamer's don't die, they respawn." On the final beat, the player is sat at the desk.
"Just a thing to play and then throw away."
A computer screen with four applications shown on it: steam, discord, garry's mod, and Half Life. A mouse cursor floats over Half Life before retreating. The screen is shut off and turns black.
"I never asked for this."
Benrey and Coomer sitting against a black background. Benrey is turned away, hunched a little. The lyrics appear on his side of the screen.
"I always did my best."
Coomer is turned to the side, looking up with his hands grasped together and eyebrows worried. The lyrics appear on his side now.
"Without your love I am..."
The Chuck E Cheese shown at the end of the series, drawn in black and white. The screen glitches.
"A broken mess."
The Chuck E Cheese is now worn down and broken. There's a banner hanging out of it that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO before it's ripped off. Minions are laying in one of the corner buildings. On the righthand side you can see partially graffiti that says BUBBY IS BEST. In the background is the citadel from Half Life 2.
"Now I'm never enough."
Tommy and Bubby sit against a black background. Tommy is facing the side, with a worried expression, wearing a suit, his propeller hat, a bowtie, and holding a briefcase on his lap. The lyrics appear on his side.
"And it's almost too much."
Bubby is turned away. His fist is clenched and producing fire. He wears a tattered labcoat. The lyrics appear on his side now.
"For me to work..."
Gordon, against a white background, limp with lines attached to his hands like a puppet. His face is not visible.
"I need..."
A side by side of the player lifting their VR controllers and Gordon's hands lifting limply in game in sync.
"A humans touch."
Gordon's hands drop to his sides again as his head lolls to the side, rolls back, then he opens his eyes- a VR headset flashing over them at "touch".
END ID
I took the screen turning off effect from this video
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i was watching for like the first 10 hours of weekend at grandmas so i only saw the Normal stuff. had no idea it got Weird until very recently cause i decided to watch some fan edits of the rest. anyway weekend at grandmas is soooo fucking good oh my god. they just keep doing it. they keep making amazing stuff like this.
if you constantly apologize for the things that bring you joy as a "thanks" for getting to experience them, you will only ever be able to surround yourself with people who expect the apology for when you enjoy yourself.
to the people who tag this post with sadfaces, you can avoid this by learning the skills of not apologizing for when you're excited. something that often helped me bridge the gap was saying thank you instead of apologizing. did i just spam the shit out of someone because i was excited and want to apologize? it helps to thank them for listening instead.
if you get stuck on apologizing for your own excitement it often becomes a bad thing to be excited in the first place. these aren't things you should apologize for at all. these are the things that people who want to be your friend want to see.
I write things sometimes @willowberecki - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
