Triple A: Anti August Alliance

David Hollander signs up for IG to post pictures of his hot wife but after Shane and Ilya are outted and married, his IG goes from being a Yuna Hollander fan page to a Yuna, Shane and Ilya fan page. He loves to post candid shots and videos of his three favorite people and his IG account blows up overnight. Millions of people follow his page to see the cute videos of them at brunch and a random photo of Shane carrying Ilya on his back. He turns down a number of brand deals because he just wants to keep the page about his family. He never tells Yuna that he turns down brand deals because he knows she’ll put him six feet under.

Somebody online comments “I know it’s big” on Shane Hollander’s Calvin Klein ad campaign & gets a response from lilyrizz24 that says “how would you know. You know nothing. Delete this. He wouldn’t show you. Seriously delete this.”

ilya would be so happy to be a trophy wife like shane has an important business conference thing he has to attend with important business people and ilya would put on his sluttiest little suit that matches shane’s and he leaves the first three buttons on his shirt undone and he links his arm with shane’s and when shane is talking serious business™️ with some guy ilya goes and finds him another one of those sparkly little drinks and sometimes people want to talk serious business with ilya and while he could do that he just says you should go ask my husband he’s over there while he devours the rest of the sliders at the buffet

Ilya's so lucky Shane never hooked up with another man before him, someone who could've told him he didn't need to say "please" in bed, or made him feel embarrassed about folding his clothes, or showed him what casual sex actually looks like (thus cutting Ilya's time of feasibly insisting that what's going on between them is casual down by like 80%). Like, Ilya dickmatized that boy at 19, before anyone else could get to him, and he can thank his lucky stars.

Ilya's so lucky Shane never hooked up with another man before him, someone who could've told him he didn't need to say "please" in bed, or made him feel embarrassed about folding his clothes, or showed him what casual sex actually looks like (thus cutting Ilya's time of feasibly insisting that what's going on between them is casual down by like 80%). Like, Ilya dickmatized that boy at 19, before anyone else could get to him, and he can thank his lucky stars.

shane is just definition polite young man. rose complains about her feet hurting so he picks her up and carries her. no biggie. he opens svetlana's car door. he writes 'thank you' on the bill at restaurants. he buys his mom AND his dad flowers. he always mowed his elderly neighbor's lawn growing up. he offers his condolences to his opponents if he catches wind of a family member passing. he won't let anyone pay him back if he buys them something. in fact, he is the first person the ottawa rookies go to if they want something because he will just roll his eyes and hand them his card. if someone is cold, he will give them his jacket. he's just a good little canadian boy who had the importance of chivalry taught to him early

ilya is definitely anya’s favorite, no doubt, if he’s at home she’s glued to his side, following him everywhere like his little shadow, but when it comes to walks? she wants shane, cus shane is always running and she loves to run. sometimes he even takes her on hikes and she goes absolutely crazy for it. she’s an adventurous girl for sure. and ilya walks is really just walk and he thinks anya likes to stop and smell everything around. so one day ilya’s going to take her for a walk. he puts her leash on and anya just takes it right out of his hand with her mouth, walks over to shane’s feet, drops it and lets out a little bark and ilya just stands there with his hands on his chest “i can’t believe this betrayal” and shane is cackling so hard he can barely breathe as he picks up the leash and goes “well i guess i’m the official walker now, let’s go girl” and just walks out the door with anya wagging her tail while ilya stands there questioning all his life choices

Yuna is on set with Shane and Ilya when the photographer’s assistant tells her they’re ready to begin. She turns to tell Shane and Ilya, but they’re not there. She goes to the dressing room, and the two are not there either. She runs around the set, trying to find them, but they’re no where to be found. She tries calling them but gets no answer. She decides to go outside because they’re definitely not in the building. She walks outside to the back of the building, and the sight makes her heart leap. Ilya has his back against the building,mand Shane is standing in front of him. Ilya’s arms are wrapped around Shane while Shane gestures to the ‘No Smoking’ sign above Ilya’s head. They’re both laughing. Ilya leans in to press his face in Shane’s neck as the two giggle. Yuna snaps a quick photo of them before going back to momager mode and telling them they have work to do. After the shoot, she sends the picture to them. Ilya posts the photo with the caption ‘This isn’t the first time Shane has cornered me in No Smoking areas’ and Shane comments ‘You liked it both times’ and the internet is abuzz with new Hollanov lore.

the thing is shane loves to tug on ilya's hair. when they're making out, when ilya goes down on him or when he hits that spot inside him it doesn't matter shane is yanking that shit