snowman with protective rubber skin

Heres them out of the oven

and a digital animation i made first as a guide!

[quiet, tense music soundbed building throughout]

Also notable is the rest of this caption, which says, "Actor Jeremy Brandt, known best these days as the Capital One Guy, is only guilty of being criminally hot."

I'm not saying Jeremy Brandt's not an attractive guy - Jeremy, if you're watching this, I think you're a good-looking fellow - but I was surprised to then read the comments on this blog spot. I did not know there were people that were thirsting after the Capital One Guy, now rebranded to the Capital One Bank guy.

So then somebody says, "Woof! I love this guy. So hot, and he sure knows how to wear a pair of jeans." But then somebody else says, "L o l, one of the first things I noticed as well," which seems to be in response to this person. And then another person says, "Me too. He's a very hot guy." So this is what I know: I'm like, "Wow, there's a lot of people - that seem to think the Capital One.. Guy, or the Capital One Bank Guy, is very attractive to the point that they have congregated."

But then I started to notice something... This website... is... uh, gay! I don't know that this website or that this person on this website, I don't know when the last time they've.. they posted is. Let's see. (chuckling) Okay, this is their most recent post! So, yes- so this person writes about LGBT issues. Not only is the Capital One Bank Guy thought of as hot, but it appears.. that.. the congregation around.. him as this.. persona, this character, this- this- this being might have been outside of my purview, which might have been a blind spot for me, because again - not that I don't find this person attractive - but I'm not... uh.. I'm- I'm not gay for the Capital One Bank Guy.

So, I started to look into this, and I was like, maybe this is just this one website, this website that writes about LGBT issues and LGBT culture. They just have one article about the Capital One Bank Guy and that's it. However, I then go, and look up the Facebook page of Jeremy Brandt. This is a post from June 18th, 2018, which is 2 years before that blog post. "I had to do some investigation. Who is this beautiful man? I love your face. What an excellent choice Capital One made." So that- but that- that- maybe... you know, I'm not- I don't want to look into the gender identity of every single person and find out exactly, you know, how many- what the ratio is of...of straight affection versus, you know, gay affection for the Capital One Bank Guy. And also again, I-I'm just going to go out there and just say, I'm super sorry for- for everything I'm saying, and I-I'm sure I'm.. I'm messing this up somehow.