The Wildest Llama

Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys

No self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes

Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting

if you touch my birthday cake ill make you eat your hands

goes to the beach to get stung by jellyfish on purpose in hopes that multiple strangers pee on me

Pee only works on urchin spine impalements, jellyfish stings are treated with vinegar to keep any unfired nematocysts from injecting further toxins

just for that little outburst you don’t get to pee on me anymore

I know I’ve reblogged this and commented before- but my favorite part is that immediately after this, Malcolm is like “so anyway I got you these” and hands Reese some pamphlets about accepting yourself as queer that he got from the guidance counselor, and Reese is like “oh, I got you these” and hands him a grocery bag full of gay porn.

to date this is still one of the funniest fucking things to come out of this blog imo

despite what u may think naruto IS actually vaccinated..i had to use a blowgun but i got him

oh shit i just peed on my towel accidentally better turn this into clout

you peed on it

you peed on it didn’t you lil piss boy