ells

"It's the removal of identity and rejection of their place in the world btw. American men are groomed (yes I'm using that word on purpose) to believe that it is their Duty and their Right at have a nuclear family and to not achieve the American Nuclear Family is to not be a man. It is to be only a career man at best and a fag at worst and once they achieve that goal they aren't taught and don't realise that they actually have to try to keep that shit. They think they've Achieved The Goal. Why would they have to maintain that? The box has been checked. So they don't parent and they neglect their wife and they cheat and they don't care bc they didn't particularly care about the family anyway. But divorce is the removal of their identity and stakes and pride in being the American Family Patriarch. Suddenly the box they took for granted has been unchecked. And they no longer know who they are anymore or what their purpose is or how to proceed. Bc the american dream doesn't have room for them. And that's why this mostly happens with men who haven't really reckoned with the fact that the american dream doesn't actually have room for anyone at all. So they get radicalised by groups who know they're going through an identity death and they take advantage of the patriotism they have and become even worse people. Bc the bad people are telling them they don't have to reckon with or process the emotions of the divorce. They tell them they're justified in their anger and that they ARE still the American Family Patriarch. They ARE still everything they thought. They just have to beat those (insert group here) in order to get everything back. And these men will fall for it bc bigotry is easier than having to build their own identity from scratch bc the last one was borrowed from their father and refined by shame. Esp since these men were never taught any kind of emotional intelligence or how to handle complex emotions and never cared to learn. Anyway."