ѕenorιтa aweѕoмe. (ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵖˡᵃʸ)

Did  you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do  you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If  I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit longer.

If you were a  vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

There  are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have ever been in your arms.

Are  you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Are  you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I should take you out.

I  was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I’m  not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Can  I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Your  body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.

My  doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can  I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If  I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Smoking  is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

You  must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do  you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!

You  know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If  I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?

Are  you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

I  bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I  like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Would  you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There’s  only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Did  you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Can  I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!

I’m  no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Do  you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

You  see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.

Can  I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are  you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Are  you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

You  know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.

My  lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

I  have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hey baby, I must be a  light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Do  I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have  you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Was  your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Apart  from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Is  it hot in here or is it just you?

I  blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!

You’re  single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Stop,  drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby,  you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I  hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I  just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

If  you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Your  hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re  so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Is  your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

I’m  lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?

“ are you okay? ”

“ you don’t look so good ”

“ sit down, you look faint ”

“ have you eaten today? ”

“ please, just rest for a minute please ”

“ i’m worried about you ”

“ what the hell happened? ”

“ did someone do this to you? ”

“ what’s wrong? ”

“ how long has this been going on? ”

“ why didn’t you tell me? ”

“ i can’t not care about you ”

all backgrounds commissioned between today and Halloween ( OCT. 21ST - OCT. 31ST ) are only 5 USD!

also, part of this sale, sets of 50 icons will be 5 USD.

 i’ve got a bit of extra time and have lots of inspiration, so please let me know if you’re interested! more info about commissions here. 

theme background examples: † † † † † †

Send one to my muse for their reaction

“Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”

“You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”

“While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?”

“They’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”

“I can cope with torture.”

“Get used to disappointment.”

“You’ve made your decision then?”

“Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.”

“I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself.”

“Am I going mad, or did the word “think” escape your lips?”

“Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.”

“I admit it, you are better than I am.”

“You never said anything about killing anyone.”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“You mock my pain!”

“Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.”

“Do you always begin conversations this way?”

“This is true love; you think this happens every day?”

“Australia is entirely peopled with criminals!”

“There’s not a lot of money in revenge.”

“You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.”

“Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

“Anybody want a peanut?”

“I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.”

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”

“The battle of wits has begun.”

“I wasn’t nervous. Maybe I was a little bit concerned, but that’s not the same thing.”

“We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here.”

“Please understand I hold you in the highest respect.”

“Isn’t there any way you trust me?”

“You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.”

“I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.”

“I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.”

“You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.”

“What hideous sin have you committed lately?”

“Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.”

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”

“That doesn’t leave much time for dilly-dallying.”

“Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.”

“It would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable.”

“I challenge you to a battle of wits.”

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me.”

“Do you hear that? That is the sound of ultimate suffering.”

“You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.”

all backgrounds commissioned between today and Halloween ( OCT. 21ST - OCT. 31ST ) are only 5 USD!

also, part of this sale, sets of 50 icons will be 5 USD.

 i’ve got a bit of extra time and have lots of inspiration, so please let me know if you’re interested! more info about commissions here. 

theme background examples: † † † † † †

and a my parents hate you so im going to sneak you in at night for quiet sexy time thread

or a wow sexual tension is totally there but were both chicken shit thread

Are you an interior  decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Did  you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do  you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If  I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit longer.

If you were a  vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

There  are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have ever been in your arms.

Are  you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Are  you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I should take you out.

I  was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I’m  not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Can  I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Your  body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.

My  doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can  I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If  I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Smoking  is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

You  must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do  you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!

You  know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If  I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?

Are  you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

I  bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I  like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Would  you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There’s  only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Did  you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Can  I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!

I’m  no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Do  you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

You  see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.

Can  I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are  you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Are  you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

You  know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.

My  lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

I  have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hey baby, I must be a  light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Do  I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have  you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Was  your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Apart  from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Is  it hot in here or is it just you?

I  blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!

You’re  single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Stop,  drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby,  you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I  hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I  just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

If  you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Your  hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re  so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Is  your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

I’m  lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?