Punishment, Gaslighting, and Aftercare
“That’s it, let it all out.” Whumper cooed, stroking Whumpee’s hair softly away from their eyes and idly brushing away their tears.
Whumpee jerked away reflexively when Whumper’s hand skimmed down to their throat. “Dont touch me.”
“Whumpee…are you…mad at me?”
Whumpee looked up at Whumper to see their face filled with genuine concern. “Are you kidding me?”
“Look, I know it hurts, but you-”
Whumpee didn’t pull away as Whumper’s fingers slowly wove back through their hair. It felt nice. Warm and soft in contrast with the sharp hot pain striking down their arm. “I didn’t need that.” It seemed true, but it felt like a lie as it slipped through their lips.
“Oh, Whumpee,” Whumper cooed, cupping Whumpee’s cheeks in both hands and tipping their face up. “Yes you did. You need structure. You need boundaries. You are so so lost right now. I want to help you.”
Whumpee’s tears pooled at Whumper’s fingers, but they didn’t seem to mind; their soft eyes never left Whumpee’s. So close. Too close. Blood dripped warm down Whumpee’s skin. They screwed their eyes shut.
“I don’t need your help. You aren’t Caretaker. It’s not your job.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Whumper whispered softly, “Can’t you see Catetaker is the reason you are so broken?” Whumper pulled Whumpee close in a gentle embrace.
Whumpee’s skin crawled as Whumper’s fingers wrapped around their shoulders, but it was so warm. So soft. So familiar. Whumpee tried to pull back, but instead they choked out a sob and curled into Whumper’s chest.
“There you go, love. Let it all out.” Whumper gripped them tigger as they shook and sobbed, not seeming to mind the blood and tears soaking through their shirt. “Caretaker broke you so badly that you don’t know who you are or what choices to make anymore. There’s so many choices, aren’t there?”
Whumpee nodded against Whumper’s chest, still shaking.
“So many choices. Such a big world.” Whumpee melted into Whumper further as they rubbed their back in soothing circles. “There’s too many thoughts fighting for control in your head. You’re too broken and weak right now to tame them all. But that’s okay. You have me. I can help you.”
Whumper gently but firmly gripped Whumpee’s shoulders and pushed them back. Whumpee let their head drop, eyes still pinned shut, not wanting Whumper to see their ugly crying. Whumper used one finger to tip their face up. Whumpee reluctantly opened their eyes, gazing up at Whumper as they whispered, “You are so weak right now. But I can help. Do you want me to help you?”
Whumpee choked out another sob, but Whunper’s finger under their chin wouldn’t let them drop eye contact, pushing back up when they tried to pull away.
Their eyes locked again. “Y-yes. Please. I’m so tired.”
Whumper gave them small, warm smile. “Of course I will help you. I love you so much.” Whumper pulled Whumpee back into an embrace. Whumpee wrapped their arms around Whumper’s waist, clinging to them pathetically as their sobs started fresh.
“There’s always too many thoughts in your head. They’re all such bad thoughts. Caretaker did this to you. Caretaker lied to you. Caretaker is the reason you’re a sobbing pathetic mess.”
Whumpee felt Whumper’s lips dip down to their ear as they spoke more softly. “But I don’t care. I love you no matter how broken you are. I will never quit. I will never give up on you like they did. We are going to fix you.”
Whumpee shook their head in small, jerky motions. “You can’t fix me.”
Whumper pulled back, taking Whumpee’s hands in theirs. “Of course I can,” they said earnestly. “I’ll give you new thoughts. Better thoughts. Easy thoughts. We will have to start from scratch since you are so far gone, but I promise I will never give up on you. You’ll be perfect again someday, you just need to trust me.” Whumper squeezed their hands lightly. “Give your all to me, and I can help you. Can you do that, Whumpee?”
Whumpee squeezed their hands back. They didn’t deserve this. Whumper had so much to worry about without having to save them. But. Whumpee was so alone. So very alone. No one else cared enough to try…and if Whumepr really believed they could fix them….
Whumper gave them a broad, sparkling smile. “I’m so glad to hear that. We are going to get you all better.” Whumper’s right hand released Whumpee, their fingers trailing up their arm to the cuts instead. “But if I’m going to make you better, you need to learn to accept punishment when you deserve it. It’s the only way you will grow. Do you understand?”
Whunpee’s cuts burned slightly under Whumper’s fingertips. Strangely, they felt freer after the pain. Like a wrong had been righted. A blessed sense of closure. At first it was just pain, but now a calm, thorough exhaustion washed over them in a warm embrace. “I understand,” they said softly, eyes tracing the red gashes in their skin. There was a strange beauty in them.
“That’s good. Now let’s talk about this one.” Whumper stood up smoothly, crossing the room to fetch a washcloth and bowl of water they had prepared and left on the table.
The sudden silence was uncomfortable as Whumpee was left on the floor. The moment Whumper had pulled away, Whumpee felt cold and so very alone.
They tried to mask their discomfort as they scrubbed drying tears away from their cheeks. “What do you want me to talk about?”
Whumper turned back to them, warm cloth in hand, and knelt down. Whumpee offered their mutilated arm up when Whumper held out their hand, palm up.
“I want to make sure you understand why you were punished so you can learn from this experience.” Whumpee winced as Whumper gently dabbed blood away from the edges of the gashes.
“Okay,” Whumpee said, twitching - trying not to pull away. The cloth stung, but Whumper was being so kind, they didn’t want to seem ungrateful.
“So, what did you do wrong?”
Whumpee’s cheeks burned, remembering that afternoon. “I tried to call Caretaker.”
“And why did you do that?” Whumper twisted their arm to wipe the underside.
Whumpee paused, trying to find the right phrasing. “I think I just missed them. I thought they might take me back. I missed how they would-” Whumpee hissed as Whumper’s fingers pressed into a cut.
They tried to pull away, but Whumper’s other hand locked down in their wrist like a vice. Whumpee panted, trying to writhe away as Whumper’s dark eyes bored into their. “You’re hurting me!”
Whumper spoke in crisp clear words, their face flat and emotionless, but their eyes burning. “Dont. Don’t think about them like that. Caretaker broke you. Caretaker set you up for failure time and time again. Caretaker is the reason you are such a mess right now. Those are bad thoughts. And bad thoughts need to be stopped. Do you understand?”
Whumpee blinked back a new round of tears and stammered as Whumper’s fingers pushed further into the cut. They couldn’t pull away, Whumper was too strong. They sputtered, “Yes. Yes! Please. I understand. Please let go!”
Whumper immediately pulled away and placed the warm cloth, soft and soothing, over the gash. It had started bleeding again.
Whumper let out a soft sigh. “I love you too much to let you think things like that. We are going to relate bad thoughts with pain, okay? This will help you correct that confusion - to slay those poisonous thoughts. Does that make sense?”
Whumpee pulled their arm back and Whumper let them this time. They should be mad, right? They should be…something?
All they felt was tired. Tired and relieved.
Whumper gave that that wide, lovely smile again. So lovely and warm that Whumpee almost smiled back. “See? You’re already learning. You’re already healing. Don’t think I don’t see how hard this is for you. You are doing so well, and I’m incredibly proud of you.”
Whumpee couldn’t help but smile back at that, a blush flooding up their cheeks. “Thank you.” Whumper didn’t respond, raising their eyebrows slightly. That wasn’t enough. “Really, thank you. For this. For everything.”
Whumper grinned even wider. “It’s my pleasure. I’ll always be ready to help you. Never doubt that.” They patted their thighs and stood up. “Now let’s get you to bed. You’ve made so much progress in the past few hours, I’m sure you’re exhausted after such a big day.”
The thought of a warm soft bed made Whumpee realize just how tired they were. Their muscles sagged and complained. Their throat even hurt from screaming and from tears. They must have screamed a lot…
Whumper seemed to read their mind. “Hey now,” they said, taking Whunpee’s good hand to pull them to their feet, “Don’t dwell on it. Your punishment is over. Learn from it and move on. We will get you bandaged up and you’ll be good as new. I think you’ll sleep better tonight after all this. It’s good to go to bed with a clean conscience, don’t you think?”
Whumpee teetered a moment before finding their balance, holding tight to Whumper’s arm until their vision cleared. A bed sounded so nice right now. Properly exhausted, Whumpee agreed they would sleep well. They nodded sleepily and Whumper took their hand.
“Good. Now let’s get you to bed.”
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