there’s something in the water

Ultimate basic white girl name, like the lass who sat next to you in school and had pigtails and drew little hearts over her “i”s. The Duke Leto of the Atreides, House Major of the Galactic Padishah Empire… and his girlfriend, Jessica. Hilarious.

She falls in love with the biggest wife guy in the universe, and he won’t marry her. Hilarious.

Duke Leto loves her and trusts her fully, despite knowing that she’s a witch from the long line of witches who do rapey mind control stuff for eugenecist reasons. He just reckons she’d never do that to him. And he’s RIGHT – she’s been painstakingly trained in mind control and she never uses it on him and they just have consensual sex like normal people, thanks very much. Hilarious.

She’s been raised, conditioned, and trained so she can accomplish one (1) task: have a baby girl with Leto. When it comes down to it, she reckons he’d be disappointed at the gender reveal so decides to have a boy instead, upending 10,000 years of meticulous planning and concerted effort. THEN, she ends up having a girl with him afterwards anyway. Hilarious.

She births a messiah to make her bf happy and piss off her bosses, and then births an abomination completely unintentionally. Hilarious.

Despite her Bene Gesserit training and bodily awareness and general deep understanding of things, she somehow doesn’t realise that going through the Spice Agony while pregnant will have an effect on her foetus??? Corazon mio, smoking a cigarette has an effect on your foetus. Not eating enough spinach has an effect on your foetus. Taking a massive overdose of a lethal drug was probably going to have some foreseeable side effects. Hilarious.

When Leto II and Ghanima are preborn and 9-year-old Leto II tells her that he and Ghani can remember her and their granda getting it on in extreme visceral detail and her first reaction is to that mentioning it was a little gauche of him, actually. Hilarious.