𝓑.𝓦.

so, i absolutely love cooking! it's a passion of mine, i've been cooking for my family for years, people seem to find my food edible enough, and i recently found myself unable to cook at all for about a week, resulting in this little list coming into existence! i'm most likely going to make more of these, simply because the dynamics in a kitchen are varied as hell, right? we have romantic couples who cook together as a hobby, there's professional restaurant kitchen settings, baking oriented stuff, cooking with kids, there's a LOT to be done w the topic! so these are more for the chaos of someone who cannot boil an egg to save their life, vs. someone who enjoys cooking and is widely considered to be a dab hand at it! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST! but i do hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it!

" hey, hey, it's okay! we'll scrape off the burnt bits! "

" here, let me chop the onions, okay? you can dice the peppers and beef; just be sure to do them on separate boards, yeah? "

" you... you know the wine was for the stew, don't you?! "

" i swear to you, i don't know how this happened. i followed every single instruction, word for word! "

" taste this and tell me what you think! "

" oh my god... this is AMAZING! you should have your own cooking show! "

" you're kidding me! no way this whole thing is vegan! it's just too good! "

" so, um... i might have possibly accidentally tipped the entire jar of cayenne pepper into the soup... and by might have, i mean definitely. "

" i think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave the kitchen before you hurt somebody. "

" it says here to fold in the eggs... now, tell me, how exactly does one do that? "

" i might have over-exaggerated my cooking skills... and blown up the oven. "

" look, it sounds gross, but i'm telling you, when it's cooked right, it's the best thing ever! "

" i lied to my date and now they think i'm this amazing cook when i'm absolutely not, so please, can you spare me the lecture and just teach me how to cook? "

" woah, woah, woah... try chopping like this. yeah, that's it. you won't chop off your hand this way. "

" so, um... how exactly did it manage to stay frozen solid on the inside, but scorch to a crisp on the outside? "

" okay, remember when it asked for fifty grams of sugar? yeah. i accidentally used salt. "

" well, at least we know the smoke alarms work, right? "

" i ruined three knives, i have a roast chicken embedded in my ceiling, my oven officially needs therapy, and so do i! wanna call it quits and order a pizza? "

" i swear, you're one of those kitchen gods who can make ice cubes taste fantastic! "

" this is the fun part! take that tenderiser, and beat the absolute crap out of that pile of steaks. "

" i'm trying so hard not to judge you right now, but... onion goggles?! "

" how on earth did you get pasta sauce on the ceiling? "

" you know every single firefighter in town knows my name? and my top three favorite comfort foods to bring each time i trigger the fire alarm? yeah. that's my culinary reputation. "

" hey. it's okay. this isn't the first time i've burnt dinner. i have taco bell on speed dial. "

" sometimes recipes just don't work out. and that's okay! what matters is that you tried. "

" i didn't realize it was even possible to burn water! "

" ah... i see where you went wrong. the recipe uses paprika. this is chilli powder. "

" quit eating the batter, or we'll have no cupcakes at all! "

" no! no way. i'm not tasting anything cooked by you; not since your orange juice gave me food poisoning. "

" the last time i tried to cook, my pot roast ended up on fire and put a hole in my dry wall. i had to hang paintings over it until i could refill the crater. "

" no, you cannot cook chicken medium-rare. wanna know why? because that means it's raw. and you'll end up with food poisoning. and i'll have to tell you what a moron you were to even think that was an acceptable thing to do in the first place. "

" i thought you teaching me how to cook would be all soft and friendly, like the great british bake-off! but it's more like hell's kitchen. "

" no tears in my kitchen, thank you! "

" six fires in three hours is your personal best! only problem is, we're making fruit salad... "

“i know we’re not… friends or anything, but… i’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to.”

“i didn’t know where else to go.” / “i didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“i feel like shit.” “you look like it, too.” *they bump shoulders*

“just… tell me what i can do to make you feel better.”

“come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“hey, look at me. i’m not going anywhere.”

“you seem to be the only trustworthy one around here, so can i talk to you?”

“ you know, if you’re trying to make me feel guilty, you’ve succeeded.”

“i don’t want to bother you. seriously, it’s all just… it’s a lot.”

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i can’t stop crying.”

“aren’t you tired?” “i’m fine. don’t worry about me.”

“there’s snot all over your shirt. it’s quite gross, actually.”

“you are, without a doubt, the most annoying person i’ve ever crossed paths with. and don’t even get me started on the sound of your voice.”

“you’re welcome to stay here, for as long as you need.”

“it’s okay to cry, you know.”

“stop apologizing. you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“we don’t need to talk, all right? let’s just… stay here, holding each other.”

“you were always there for me. let me be there for you.”

❝  i’ll always want to listen to you.  ❞

❝  any time spent with you is time i treasure.  every second.  ❞

❝  my favorite color changes but it’s always the same,  whatever color you’re wearing.  ❞

❝  whatever matters to you matters to me,  you’re important to me.  ❞

❝  you’re so strong.  and brave—but i wish you knew you don’t always have to be.  i’m here,  if you’re ever willing to let me help shoulder those burdens.  ❞

❝  i’m not staring,  i’m admiring.  ❞

❝  i’ll always be yours,  in one way or another.  ❞

❝  you don’t ever have to worry with me.  i’m here for good.  ❞

❝  you are more beautiful than you know.  ❞

❝  you have a beautiful mind and a wonderful soul,  don’t ever let anyone make you think differently.  ❞

❝  i’m happier when you’re here.  ❞

❝  you’ve become my joy.  ❞

❝  whatever else happens,  if i have you,  i’m content.  ❞

❝  well,  i do feel a little better now that you’re here.  ❞

❝  you do make me happy,  it’s important you know that.  ❞

❝  you will always be my priority.  ❞

❝  i love you forever.  ❞

❝  you don’t know how glad i am to see you.  ❞

❝  you look wonderful.  ❞

❝  i want you to feel safe with me.  ❞

❝  i’m not letting you go until you say it out loud.  you’re beautiful and strong.  you deserve to believe it.  ❞

❝  sometimes you amaze me—i mean you always do.  but you have such intuition and real wisdom about things.  i like understanding the way you see the world.  ❞

❝  you carry yourself with such grace.  ❞

❝  you have a way of lighting up even the darkest moments.  ❞

❝  a tender heart is a courageous thing to preserve.  don’t ever be ashamed of having one.  ❞

❝   being around you makes me a better person.  ❞

❝  i hope you know just how full of worth you are.  ❞

❝  you always make me see things differently.  i appreciate your perspective. ❞

❝  i’m just enjoying you.  you look happy today and i like seeing that.  ❞

❝  you’re very valuable to me.  ❞

❝  you can come to me with anything.  anything at all.  ❞

❝  there is not a place in the world i would rather be than right here with you.  ❞

❝  come here,  come sit in my lap and tell me about your day.  ❞

❝  come put your head in my lap and tell me something new.  ❞

❝  i love it when you smile at me like that.  ❞

❝  i don’t think i can share you with anyone today.  ❞

❝  i’ll take you anywhere you want.  just tell me where.  ❞

❝  bored? of you?  impossible.  ❞

❝  if you like it i’ll get you one.  ❞

❝  your happiness matters greatly to me.  ❞

❝  you deserve to reach the goals you want in life.  you deserve to obtain anything you wish.  ❞

❝  you’re doing well.  you’re just discouraged and tired.  ❞

❝  you need to rest,  you don’t have to do it all today.  ❞

❝  the way i love you goes beyond description.  even those words don’t seem like enough.  ❞

❝  you come first.  you’re always my first choice.  ❞

❝  no,  if you’re upset that’s what matters right now.  talk to me.  ❞

❝  i want to share in your joy.  i want to be part of all things that make you happy.  ❞

❝  all of my best moments are the ones that have you in them.  ❞

❝  i would give you anything you ask of me. ❞

[ COMFORT ]  sender discovers receiver brooding and quietly approaches to carefully hug them from behind. 

[ SOOTHE ]  in the midst of a tense moment,  receiver turns away to conceal their emotions but sender wraps their arms around them and holds them from behind. 

[ CLOSE ]  sender reaches out and pulls receiver into their lap as they’re walking by. 

[  STOP  ]  sender reaches out and takes receiver’s face into their hands,  drawing them away from what they’re doing so they can just look at receiver for a moment.  

[ GIVE ]  sender greets with receiver with a gift. 

[ BRING ]  sender takes receiver out for the day to pamper them. 

[ ATTENTION ]  sender peppers a series of caresses over receiver’s face in an attempt to make them laugh or smile. 

[ COAX ]  sender knows receiver has had a lot on their mind,  so they hold them for a while to help them relax and hopefully open up. 

[ CARESS ]   sender sits by quietly while receiver works,  petting their hair and simply providing company. 

[ RELAX ]  sender gives receiver a massage. 

[ LOOK ]  for receiver to catch sender gazing adoringly at them.

i got a request and i listened to an alarming number of "royalcore" playlists on spot.ify and i tried researching knights and royalty and it just got me confused and stressed out, so historians, pls look away, i'm here for the protective and occasionally pining vibes of "the monarch and their knight" vibes!! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST!! i have two more royally vibing lists in the works!! and i may edit this list to add more in the future, as i have already done with other meme lists!

FROM THE KNIGHT.

" i was not asked nor ordered to take up this post, my king/queen/liege. i volunteered for the job. "

" i swore an oath to protect your life before any other, including my own, your majesty. it is an oath i am honoured to keep. "

" don't be alarmed, your majesty. i oversaw the preparation of your meal myself, and tasted the wine from a separate glass. it is both safe and delicious. "

" stay in the carriage, sire/ma'am/my liege. a fallen tree blocks our path, and i wish to secure the perimeter before we disembark to remove it. "

" sleep well, your majesty. i shall keep watch outside your chamber door tonight. you will be quite safe, i assure you. "

" your majesty! my apologies... you startled me. i did not expect you to be awake so late. is something wrong? "

" perhaps... perhaps it might be wise for me to teach you the correct ways of using a sword, your majesty? "

" i am marked down for the final jousting tournaments tomorrow. if anything happens, rest assured; i have chosen a most worthy candidate to replace me in my role in the event of my demise. "

" do not fear, my king/queen/liege. i will die before i allow any harm to befall you. and i do not intend to die tonight. "

" please, my liege. take my armour; let me strap you in. now. you must not, under any circumstances, remove this armour until you are safely within the castle walls. stay close. and pull the visor of the helmet down... good. everything will be well. i promise. "

" your majesty, i have come bearing news. i have decided to resign from my post as knight. i will remain until a satisfactorily excellent replacement has been chosen, and then i shall be leaving. "

" you seem unaware of your importance, my liege. your value far exceeds my own. "

" it is a mere scratch, your majesty. a reminder of my inexcusable failure, and the closeness to which this kingdom came to losing you. "

" you may be the first monarch i ever felt proud to protect. "

" your majesty. your majesty, wake up! we must leave, and fast. where is your cloak? the carriage is waiting, we must hurry... "

" make haste! the enemy has breached the gate; and i won't let them harm you, my liege. not while there is air in my lungs. "

" do not fear, your majesty. this is the fastest horse in the stables. you must head for the forest; i'll fend the enemies off until i know you're safely away. "

" your majesty? were you worried for me? "

" i must warn you, my king/queen/liege, these parts are not safe for anyone, let alone a member of royalty. "

" my king/queen/liege, permission to speak freely? "

" trust and ease are things i sacrifice gladly to guard your life well, your majesty. "

" with the greatest respect, you should not go alone. i can accompany you. i assure you, you won't even know that i'm there. "

" knights have a code, your majesty. and to feel the way that i feel for you... it goes against that code. against everything we stand for. in all ways. "

" should this be the last time we meet, my king/queen/liege, please know... you must know, it was my greatest pride and privilege to be your knight. "

" if i may be so bold... i do not think i would much enjoy a royal life. the weight of the crown seems too great a burden. "

" be calm, my king/queen/liege. my finest armor is polished and ready for tonight's festivities. i shall be by your side all night. "

" my king/queen/liege, you look uneasy... has something happened? are you unwell? where is your luncheon? i'll send for the doctor right away... "

FROM THE ROYALS.

" ah! you must be the new knight! do tell, what is your name? "

" i trust your word above all else. you may always offer your consult on these matters. so, please. what is on your mind? "

" i am with you far more than i am with my own betrothed, of late! people shall talk... "

" due to recent tensions between other kingdoms and our own, it has been decided that i will be requiring a personal guard. and i have chosen you. "

" what made you decided to become a knight? "

" i do not need a nanny! least of all when i am merely going to my own chambers! "

" perhaps you could teach me how to wield a sword? one must be able to defend one's self, after all. "

" be easy, brave knight... you took many injuries to protect me last night. i insisted the royal doctor tend to you, rather than your fellow knights. you are quite safe; you're in my personal chambers. "

" i very much envy your freedom as a knight. i imagine you must take it for granted. "

" don't go! you just said it wasn't safe out there! as you are responsible for my personal safety, surely you should stay with me? "

" do not let the fine food and beautiful clothing fool you, knight. a golden cage is still a cage, even with a crown atop it. "

" it is alright. i am merely ill, my knight; there was no poison. "

" i know you better than i know the crowned stranger who decided i was to marry them. how sad is that? "

" i wish to travel to the neighbouring kingdoms. you shall join me, good knight. "

" please, kind knight... do not let me eat alone. my betrothed does that to me already. i do crave some company... "

" my knight... i fear that i have made my most gravest mistake. i have fallen into a trap of my own creation. i have fallen in love with you. "

" you are wounded! sit. sit! as your king/queen/monarch, i command you, sit and let me tend to your wounds! "

" good knight, i do not believe i have ever had the pleasure of seeing you without your armour on... it is a most welcome change. "

" my marriage, it... it is a lie, it is little more than business. i feel nothing for them, my knight, not like what i feel for you! "

" this castle is suffocating... please, may i... may we go to your favorite place? a place you might go to be alone? "

" so many despise the crown. yourself included, i expect. i certainly understand; i feel the same way. so why become a knight who is sworn to defend and protect it? "

" could we just be ordinary townspeople for a day? "

" you presume too much, knight! just because my struggles are not the same as yours, does not render them non-existent! "

" my life is no more important than yours, nor anyone else's. do not think otherwise. "

" you think i would not give my life for you just as easily as you would give yours for mine? "

" it kills me, that as king/queen/monarch, i cannot choose to wed my true love. i cannot choose my knight. i cannot choose you. "

" no! i will not abandon you, my knight, so do not ask it of me again! "