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Femdom experiences, ideas, and suggestions
Iâd like to share some experience, ideas, and tips Iâve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it wonât apply to everyone.
Firstly, I need to share that we arenât in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesnât interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. Itâs been a lot of fun, but Iâm not making it a âlifestyleâ, although we do have some âextendedâ sessions, which Iâll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent âvanillaâ sex, heâs actually quite good at it. :) That being said, Iâm not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person Iâve played with like this, but weâve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I donât take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.
Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being âforcedâ, thatâs not to imply he hasnât consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!
I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. Iâll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.
DEGRADATION/HUMILIATIONÂ
This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Hereâs a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.
Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear womenâs clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:
High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You donât need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.
Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Donât let him wear anything else.
Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category Iâll go into later.
Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and youâve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
Womenâs bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, thereâs some physical to it as well, but just being forced to âdealâ with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:
Deepthroat training. Letâs eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If heâs not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Donât be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, heâll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Donât be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. heâll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesnât fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes heâs going to cough and gag, a lot, yes heâs going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. Thatâs OK. Donât be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (âyeah, show me your tongueâ âhands behind your back and open wide bitchâ âgive me that throatâ âthatâs a good little cocksuckerâ)
EDIT: Iâve received several questions about this point. Iâll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, Iâm not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, itâs meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When heâs on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Donât let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he wonât get there without proper training.
Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesnât have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.
Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.
Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items Iâve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,
Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. Iâll strap my dick on over my jeans, while heâs completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.
Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. Iâll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. Iâll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)
Spitting. Weâre getting a little more extreme here. Donât be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While heâs making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. Heâll love you for it! It can also be degrading while youâre criticizing his performance to spit in his face.
Golden showers. We havenât worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I donât know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.
Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if youâre worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.
You degrading him.
Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.
Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
Combine insults. Example: âYouâre a little limp dick cocksucker.â âYouâre a little cum eating bitch, arenât you?â
Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying âget on your knees and suck my dickâ, say âGet on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.â Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, âHey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.â Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say âget over here and make me cum you little piece of shitâ.
Tell him what youâre going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know youâre going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.
Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Donât be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isnât licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.
Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesnât even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you donât believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.
Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didnât take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldnât get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesnât).
Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.
Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that heâs never told anyone before. (Heâll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)
Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesnât involve violating other people boundaries.
Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isnât anyone around, Iâll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
Wearing plugs or other toys in public.
And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever doâŚâŚ
Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, heâs eating it or its going on his face. I donât care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesnât want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that heâs going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums heâs absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:
Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
Make him have a ruined orgasm (Iâll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isnât a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
While heâs wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally Iâll have him âplayâ with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.
EDIT: Ladies, heâs going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but Iâll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He wonât want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesnât get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained Iâll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, Iâll let go and watch. Iâll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If youâve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. Heâll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didnât feel it! Heâll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. Iâll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!
ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!
For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini topâŚ.well thatâs just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.
PAIN AND CONTROL
DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriendâs limits here. This is where the âforcedâ part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.
There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.
Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while youâre fucking his face or heâs licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. âI slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slapâ
Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while heâs giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.
Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.
Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Hereâs a list of techniques I use.
Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)
Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.
Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.
Chemical Play. Ok, weâre getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many peopleâs bodies react differently. Hereâs a list of things weâve tried.
Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. Iâve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesnât like that lol.
Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your manâs experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Letâs just say he didnât have a great night.
Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when heâs been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. Weâve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I donât have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, heâll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. Weâve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your manâs experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else heâll face punishment.
Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I donât enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. Iâm sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).
Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what heâs told. This is where the âforcedâ aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, heâs going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and thereâs a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually heâll do it. This is an area where weâve both agreed that he doesnât get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.
Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, thatâs his job to do. If he doesnât, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if heâs disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesnât work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he canât make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.
This doesnât mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When weâre playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If heâs getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe Iâll kick his little blue balls afterwards while heâs still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.
FRUSTRATION/TEASING
This is really quite simple. When weâre playing, I cum when I want, he cums when heâs allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and Iâll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. Heâll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.
Chastity. This is a must for us. While we donât play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when weâre apart. I work nights, so if Iâm at work, chances are heâs locked into âThe Viceâ. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically âThe Viceâ (available at  www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I donât want my manâs dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone elseâs) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he canât have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually donât keep him in it for more than a couple days, but weâve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasnât happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER heâd been locked up for a week already.
There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:
Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasnât been able to cum yet, but maybe one day heâll get there. (Another great video opportunity)
Coin flip. If heâs been locked up for several days, Iâll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then Iâll start stroking his dick until heâs very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once heâs soft again. Better luck next time honey.
Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, thatâs the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.
Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I donât take the cage off. For example, he doesnât need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, Iâll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.
One of the big things youâll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If weâre playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny heâll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Donât be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesnât need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when heâs locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, Iâll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally Iâll say yes, but most of the time Iâll say no as Iâve already decided on how long heâs going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.
I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him âNo, youâre staying locked up.â While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesnât comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.
Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). Iâll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times Iâll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him Iâm going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.
Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, heâll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he canât try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.
SERVICE
So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my manâs fetish, and thatâs ok. I do love him, and I donât have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure Iâm going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And Iâll detail how that all works for us now.
Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, thatâs what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, thatâs what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. Thatâs just how it goes. I typically donât orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but Iâll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)
Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times Iâll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever Iâm using, its important that Iâm only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Donât worry about whether or not heâs able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. Heâll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.
As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, weâve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesnât decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. Thatâs up to me now. This doesnât mean that he doesnât initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesnât get to complain, and he doesnât get to turn me down when I want it either.
The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.
But this isnât limited to sexual service only.
Domestic Service. Basics. When weâre in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When heâs ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever Iâve told him to do while I relax. After heâs done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some âpunishmentâ he wants.
This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know thereâs a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.
Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples:Â
Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.
Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. Heâs also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails.Â
Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times Iâll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. Itâs really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied.Â
Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically heâs making out with my asshole. Itâs a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Iâve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now Iâll give an example on how Iâve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesnât necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.
I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.
For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so heâd been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, heâd never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasnât clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.
I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.
I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.
Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck Iâd ever had and told him to âgo clean my fucking bathroomâ. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.
So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didnât get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)
There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once youâre satisfied heâs learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isnât âauthenticâ if youâre doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesnât really matter to me. What matters is that weâre having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.
Amazing add from one or the subscribers! Thanks for that!
To start the New Year, I am looking to purchase a new Chastity Device for hubby, for long term wear. I am leaning towards the Vice Mini from @lockedinlust and am wondering if any of my readers have firsthand experience with this device that youâd be willing to share. Thanks in advance
Techniques For Hotwives
This is awesome. Just pure awesome. Thanks Albany Hotwife!Â
From:Â http://albanyhotwife.tumblr.com/page/10
Techniques For Hotwives; I absolutely love being a hotwife. One of the best parts for me is driving my husband insane with lust for me by giving him just the right blend of teasing and reassurance. Not only do I get the freedom and variety of choosing my own sexual partners, but I also get a husband who burns with desire for me. For the purpose of this entry Iâm going to use the term hotwife for any wife with permission to play, cuckoldress for a hotwife who emphasizes her dominance in the sexual relationship, huband for the hotwifeâs primary partner (could easily be a fiance or boyfriend), and lover for the other sex partner whoâs not the husband.
Here are some techniques I regularly use that Iâve found hotwives and cuckoldresses can use to make their encounters extra fun for their husbands and for themselves.
When Husband is Watching You with Another Man
Eye Contact* - Nothing will arouse and tease your husband like strong eye contact with him. Eye contact says, âLook at me!â and makes it impossible for either of you to ignore or trivialize whatâs going on. Eye contact can be gentle or fierce, depending on your style and the message youâre trying to send. I prefer to lock eyes for a long time, then wink or smile right before I look away. I like to lock eyes with my husband while Iâm blowing my lover.
Smile* - Smiling is both a tease and a reassurance. It says both, âLook how much fun Iâm having!â and âEverything is OK.â I love to smile at him when Iâm riding my lover cowgirl-style.
Say Something* - You donât have to jabber away, but itâs fun to say things now and then. I love dirty talk with my lover while my husbandâs watching. I also like to interact with him, asking, âHow are you liking the show?â or âDonât you wish you were doing this?â I also encourage my lover to talk about how good everything feels and how much fun heâs having. Moaning, screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, etc. are all great things to do, too. Itâs also cute to call you husband by terms of endearment like honey, baby, etc. when youâre being fucked by another man.
Dress Up* - High heel shoes, lingerie, nicely done nails, and perfume all say, âIâm putting effort into looking fucking hot for my lover!â You husband will be aroused by your appearance and jealous of the effort to look good for another guy.
When Husband is Listening from Another Room
Go Nuts* - Scream, cry, moan, laugh, beg, talk dirty, giggle, and slurp. Encourage your lover to slap your butt. These sounds will float through the closed door and to your husbandâs ears, driving him wild with desire and jealousy.
Emerge, then Vanish* - Take a break from fucking. Go out into the room where your husband is: hair a mess, makeup smeared. Have a glass of water. Say hi to your husband. Then, go back to the bedroom. Close the door. Lock it.
Make a Movie* - Film your bedroom romp. Hook the camera in your room to the TV in the room where heâs sitting so he can watch live feed! Heâll be scratching at the door in no time.
When Husband is Not Around
Call Him* - Itâs fun to call him and put the phone on speaker phone while youâre getting railed. Then, husband can listen! Even more fun (for you cuckoldresses) is let your other guy call from his phone instead. Itâs more humiliating.
Texts* - Like above, but text dirty things. What youâre doing, feeling, etc. Have your other guy send husband dirty pics of what youâre doing.
Get Caught* - I love having my husband walk in on me when heâs not expecting anything. Just make sure that you know heâd be OK with this, and that your lover is also OK with this. Some people donât like surprises.
Leave Evidence* - Your lingerie lying around the bed, sex toys on the nightstand, or a condom in the garbage all remind your husband of what you were doing in his absence.
Make a Movie (pt. 2)* - Film your bedroom romp and leave the recording on the nightstand for him.
A MUST READ
todayâs suggestion #7: welcoming her
have you ever tried to welcome her when she comes home in a way that reflects how much you admire her, and how powerful she is over you? here are a few suggestions for those of you who like doing that, or might be considering the idea:
for subs
learn her schedule, and do your best to adapt to it. sheâs your priority, remember that.
show her how happy you are to have her back home - don'tâ spare words, and if you missed her, tell her that: say it out loud before her, on your knees. sheâll probably like to know youâve been missing her badly.Â
donât only greet her, but instead, worship her from the moment she steps inside the house: you can throw yourself at her feet, bow for her, kiss her hands, her feet, beg for her, say how much you missed her and how much you want her. whatever you choose, whatever she likes, whatever you do, remember: make her feel adored and special, from the moment she walks in.Â
show her with both words and actions that youâre more than happy to be at her service and obey her every whim if sheâd be so kind as to use you; in other words, show her youâre more than happy to be her slave as soon as she gets home, if sheâs in the mood for that. explain to her that if she chose to do so, youâd be very happy and that sheâd be somewhat doing you a favour, really!
take initiative when greeting her: offer to pick up her bags, purses, etc and put things away; serve her something to drink if sheâs thirsty; if she allows you, remove her shoes, and give her a foot massage, etc.
tidy up the house. make sure things are clean and organised when she gets home. (click here for some info & tips on domestic servitude)
surprise her with something nice upon her arrival. for instance, you can buy her flowers to give her when sheâs back home. or chocolates, perhaps. alternatively, you could write her a special âwelcomeâ card. maybe you could do all these three things combined, surely she wonât mind, would she? these small gestures can be quite powerful and romantic (to some, even hot!). they are ideal for occasions when you havenât seen each other for a little while, like a couple of days, due to one of you being too busy with work, or a trip, etc.Â
for dommes
build up his anticipation for you. tease him, or whisper things to his ears before you leave the house. alternatively, you can text him when youâre out to tell him when he should be expecting you back. if youâre feeling cruel and playful enough you can even send him a photo of your legs and feet followed by a provocative message like âthis is where I expect you to be when I get back homeâ or give him exact instructions of what he should be wearing (or not) and what pose he should be at, when he greets you back home. in other words, build up his anticipation and make him feel excited to be waiting eagerly for you.Â
tell him you like it when he greets you like that, or tell him that youâve been thinking about it. I know, that doesnât sound like a real tip at all, but trust me sometimes we forget how powerful and hot it can be for a sub to hear these things. so donât spare words to explain how youâd like to be greeted by your sub upon your arrival at home: let your words become a form of control in itself, making him go over and over them in his mind during your absence, to the point of driving him crazy and make him count down the seconds until youâre back.Â
donât tell him just âhowâ youâd like to be greeted, by also âwhyâ you want that - make sure he understands how powerful, how pleasant, how nice it is for you to have such a view when you come home. donât be afraid to tell him whenever you want him as your slave - heâll love you forever for doing so.Â
enjoy the moment and donât worry about protocols. for instance, if you come home and you find your man, on his knees, telling you he missed you badly, and you end up melting down a little bit to the sight of that and all you want to do is to kiss him all over, then, by all means, allow yourself to do so. donât limit yourself, after all this is all about you! plus it wonât ruin the moment. you can have a few minutes of intimacy for the two of you, to kiss each other, exchange caresses, etc. you can do these things before you go back to a more playful mood. all youâd have to do is to mark the transition: for instance, you can push him away, and say something like ânow, save it for later, darling, when weâre in bed and cuddling; right now, I want you under my control. get back to your knees, and tell me how much you want to be my slave and how much you missed me, starting now.â alternatively, you can also just go straight into a playful mode as soon as you walk in, catching him almost off-guard. itâs all up to you, and your mood on the occasion.Â
challenge your sub, push his limits. is he already on his knees, worshipping you, kissing you, telling you how much he missed you? well, take advantage of that to push him harder if you want. you can tell him thatâs not enough, that you want more, that youâre not just happy with being wanted and missed but that you want him to be desperately in need of you, that you want him to crave you so badly that heâd be willing to do anything for you (in a safe and consensual way). you could even be a bit cruel to him - chances are, heâll probably love you even more for that. and it might end up being quite a turn on to do some cruel things to him, and ask him if he still wants you, or if he regrets it, just to find out that he not only doesnât regret anything but that he wants you even more than before, if thatâs even possible. greeting you like that can be a perfect tool then to put him on the right mindset for you, from the beginning.Â
how about you is that something you enjoy as well?Â
please, reblog and spread the love! (more femdom suggestions, here)Â
@creativesubuniverse

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Being a good servant means developing and investing in your skills. Letâs be real - most women donât want naked men sitting around in rope and collars begging to serve. Most Dominant women Iâve met are practical, have specific needs and desires, and always have things that have to be done that prevent them from doing the things they want to do. If you really want to serve a Dominant woman, itâs important to give some thought to her inevitable question: âHow would you serve to make my life easier/better/enjoyable/successful?â And no, being her sex slave, or âdoing anything she wantsâ is not a suitable answer. Neither is offering to clean her house but being shit at it, or being her chauffeur but then expecting other things from her. After all, you donât employ a plumber who then pesters you to whip him⌠A suitable response is: ⢠Cooking meals for you during the week when you are busy with work ⢠Running your errands so you donât have to sit in traffic or take time off ⢠Preparing, organizing and cleaning up your parties or social events â˘Â Building and fixing things around the house and car ⢠Meticulously cleaning your car and home each week ⢠Preparing your home after returning from travel - groceries, airing, fresh sheets ⢠Preparing and managing your travel - luggage, lists, mail, visas, bookings ⢠Detailed research and documentation for things you want or need to buy ⢠Sewing repairs, washing, folding, ironing, and putting your clothes away ⢠Buying gifts for your family, colleagues and friends for each occasion ⢠Performing pedicures and manicures to a professional standard ⢠Being your personal shopper doing pickups, returns, and exchanges ⢠Finding and curating things you enjoy - music, art, experiences, foods, people ⢠Providing physical help or assistance to any of your friends and family Oh, and when doing these tasks, donât expect to be sitting around naked in a collar with a butt plug in - unless thatâs what SHE wants! These things arenât sexual. Theyâre useful. Theyâre valuable. They free her up so she can enjoy her life, and explore and grow her empowerment. All that you do ADDS to her life. It improves it. It enables her to grow. You must be good at these things. Go and learn if you need to. Take a class, or contribute your professional skills. If you donât have skills, or anything you can think of, youâre simply not ready to serve another person in a meaningful way. Go and work on yourself first. Go make yourself valuable for her. Itâs an important thing as a man to truly know your own value, and what you can bring to a womanâs life. Being a submissive servant doesnât mean being a doormat; it means being empowered that her needs and desires are your own, and you can meet them to a standard that exceeds her expectations. Your unhinged horniness and a willingness to spend money to relieve aforementioned horniness, is simply not enough - nor appropriate. If you do have skills, experience, or ability, then really put yourself in her shoes before engaging your mouth / fingertips. Learn about her and what matters to her. Her goals, her ambitions, her ideas, and her dreams. Offer things you can do and give that matter to HER. If you have something to offer that doesnât matter to her, either develop a skill that does, or find another woman who wants what you have to give. If sheâs smart, she will value you and give you just the right amount to keep you enthralled, engaged, and fed, but still hungry and eager to serve. Her empowerment will expand in time; youâll definitely notice. Your submission will deepen in time; youâll definitely notice. If sheâs not smart, sheâll take advantage of you without valuing you and mistake her sense of self-appointed entitlement as empowerment and domination. Dominant leadership is about inspiring a submissive to view serving them as an opportunity to fulfill their highest purpose; Dominant management is about demanding compliance and obedience because she said so. They might sound similar in the short run, but in the long term, one leads to fulfilling your purpose as a submissive, while the other leads to a life of unmet expectations and resentment. Be smart - you can have the lifestyle youâve dreamed of, but the secret isnât that you just need to find a Dominant woman. Itâs that you need to develop yourself in both skills and attitude to such an extent that you are undeniably valuable to her. Women are smart - they protect and take ownership of what works for them.
Basically the same things Iâve been saying! Submissives need to know their worth, and learn to serve non-sexually, be useful to her. Make her life easier and better, and sheâll put you in your place at her feet and own you on all levels.
Want to understand the world of female led relationships? Check out my book series Practical FLR Volumes 1-3
FIVE REASONS WOMEN TEND TO MAKE BETTER BOSSES THAN MEN
Generalisations can be dangerous in the world of work, and stereotyping by gender particularly so.  That said, research carried out over the past few years has regularly reached the conclusion that women make better bosses than their male counterparts.  So what makes women better in leading roles?  Here are just five reasons women tend to make better bosses⌠Read on
Women are Better Listeners
An ability to listen is vital in an employer/employee relationship, and women are naturally better at letting people have their say and listening to what is said. Â All members of staff want to feel that their views and concerns are heard and acted upon, and women tend to be more discussion-focused when men prefer to take swift, decisive action. Â There are advantages to both approaches, but creating a culture where employees feel their voices are heard and valued leads to a happier workplace all round.
Women Like to Encourage Development
Women often have a harder time getting into senior positions, but that often means theyâre less inclined to pull the drawbridge up behind them. Â In a 2015 Gallup report entitled The State of the American Manager, researchers found that those working for a female boss were around one and a quarter times more likely to feel they were encouraged to develop than those working for a male supervisor. Â Female managers, it seems, were more likely to give their employees space for trial and error and better at finding ways to stretch them.
Women are Better Engaged
On the whole, women are better engaged than their male counterparts and that filters down to their employees. Â A more engaged boss means a more engaged workforce, and the same Gallup study found that those working for a female supervisor were almost 6% more engaged than those working for a male leader. Â Women working for a female boss were found to be the most engaged and productive at 35%, while men working for a male boss came in at just 25%.
Women are Better at Offering Praise
In any business, there needs to be a degree of both carrot and stick if you want to get the best out of your employees. Â Women are almost always better at giving credit where itâs due. Â Giving praise can be interpreted by some as a sign of âweaknessâ, and while men prefer to portray themselves as in control and authoritative, women are generally much more relaxed about offering praise. Â Research has shown that employees who feel valued and are recognised for their contribution are more productive, so words of encouragement now and then really can have a positive impact on the whole team.
Women are Better at Building Consensus
Debate and discussion are good, no matter what business you are in. Â So too is consensus building. Â Letting everyone have their say and then finding a course of action all can agree on is vital for cultivating a strong team ethic and loyalty between your employees, and women tend to prefer building bridges and finding consensus than men. Â By listening and letting everyone have their say, women allow everyone to feel equally valued and people are more likely to make concessions for the wider good of the team.
Sweeping generalisations are often unhelpful, but in this case it seems that gender really can have a huge impact on the employer/employee relationship. Â While women in senior company roles are still the minority, itâs clear that those in managerial positions are as successful (if not more so) than their male equivalents. Â As companies strive to get more women into the top jobs, employing more female bosses really could make a big difference to the success of your business.
http://flrreding.tumblr.com
The conversation where she breaks the news that you are going to be her cuckold is never easy to hear, but it is necessary
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30 Day Chastity Agreement
I discovered a similar contract in Tumblr, adapted a few clauses, proposed it to my girlfriend as written below ⌠and we signed it! What will happen from now and on, who knowsâŚÂ
This agreement is strictly between _________________________ (She) and _________________________ (He). The agreement fully releases all rights of ownership of the penis of him and transfers all rights to her. This agreement is valid for 30 days beginning the day it is signed.
Effective immediately the following rules of agreement will be fully enforced. Failure to follow these rules will result in punishment.
1.     He no longer owns the penis, all rights and ownership belongs to her. He will not refer to the penis as his own by use of words that suggests he still has ownership over it.
2.     He is to remain in the chastity device at all times, she will decide if and when it is allowed to be removed.
3.     All body hair must be trimmed and well maintained. And he must maintain excellent cleanliness of his body and the device. He will be released no less than 3 times per week for cleaning.
4.     He will not question nor nag about the time of chastity and possible release. The length of time she chooses to lock her penis up and restrict it from orgasm is her right and her decision.
5.     He must sleep naked so that she has full access to his body anytime she wants it throughout the night.
6.     Because the penis is now hers, he must inform her each time he experiences an erection and explain why the erection had taken place.
7.     He will be restricted from viewing pornographic material unless accompanied by her.
8.     Sex does not always mean removal of the chastity device, for she has the right to use him as a toy for her pleasure. He will be required to bring her to unlimited orgasms every night or as she pleases. She has the right to unlock him for sex anytime she desires. This does not mean he is allowed to ejaculate.
9.     She will unlock him for a teasing session at least 3 times per week. He may be brought to the brink of ejaculation many times before being allowed to experience full release, which will occur on very limited occasions. She will always choose when ejaculations occur. And she does not have to tell, and may lie about, whether she is going to allow him to orgasm or not.
10. He will be allowed a maximum of 2-3 ejaculations every 30 days. At any time, if he feels that ejaculation is arriving he must notify her immediately; if âaccidentalâ ejaculation occurs he must be punished. No exceptions.
11. He will be restrained during times of release. He will not touch the penis unless instructed by her. He will be relocked into chastity device before the restraints are removed.
12. He must provide her with treatment worthy of a goddess and will be required to give back rub, feet rub, cunnilingus, annilingus or whatever kind of manual or oral massage she chooses, any time she wants.
13. Given that his penis is hers and only hers, he is absolutely forbidden to hold any type of sexual relation with other women. Not meeting with this rule will be hardly punished. No exceptions.
14. Whenever visiting a nude spa, beach or resort, she has the right to expose him naked and caged, to prevent unwanted euphoria, so as to publicly show her full ownership over his penis.
15. Since her pleasure is the main priority in this contract, she is naturally allowed to have sporadic sex with any other men if she chooses to, under the condition of maintaining adequate sanitary protection. For a matter of mutual trust, she will keep him informed of these relationships, without saving any details, before and after they actually take place.
16. And given the position of sexual dominance that she acquires through this contract, she is fully entitled and may choose make him watch her having casual sex with any other men. Always restricted within the chastity cage, he must give her full support and be available to collaborate in the necessary duties during any such intercourse; this includes tenderly holding her hand, deep kissing her, keeping her legs wide open, or using his tongue to prepare her pussy before sex or cleaning it up once she is fully satisfied. When these situations take place, she will share her pleasure with him, keep eye contact and seek for his complicity, especially every time she is coming to a new climax.
17. He will focus only on her pleasure; thoughts of his own pleasure will only distract him from properly performing his duties to her high standards. Failure to meet her high standards of performance will result in 2 daysâ time extended in chastity. No exceptions.
18. Breaking any of these rules will result in punishment for him/time in chastity extended. If he misbehaves in public all she has to say is a number and he knows that is the amount of days added to his time in chastity.
19. Time in chastity can always be extended any time she sees fit.
20. She has the authority to change/ add any rules to this contract anytime she wants.
I __________________here by agree to these terms
______________________________
I __________________here by agree to these termsâ¨
_______________________________
The honour system
Please donât insult my intelligence, I grew up with three older brothers in a small house with paper thin walls I could hear them and more often than not caught them fucking their hands whenever they could
I dated a few guys who swore they never wanked themselves off but a woman knows, be it the smell on their hands, their lack of lustre in the bedroom or their high emotional testosterone fuelled emotions to quiet low testosterone fuelled politeness and complacency to name but a few Iâm sure other ladies will have other signals too.
The honour system please, leave a guy alone long enough and heâll have his cock in his hand tugging on it like his very life depends upon it focused entirely on his own pleasure.
My husband too swore he never pleasured himself, until I caught him wanking in the shower oblivious to my presence, eyes tightly closed lost in his own pleasure
Men are basically liars they canât help it, it stems from their childhood when all those hormones and testosterone chemicals clouded their minds with their cocks screaming for attention they became addicted to self-gratification.
There is only one way to prevent a guy from masturbating, okay there is another way but that involves surgery, the one I prefer is locking their cocks in a cage or a cock muzzle which ever term you prefer, they need our help to stop.Â
I have no faith or belief in the honour system a man will masturbate sooner or later
Look at the body language as she explains their new roles and her expectations.If he wants the relationship to last, he will continue to stay in chastity and panties. His releases will be up to her. She no longer does housework. Heâll become her maid, wearing a pink apron and panties while he works through his chore list. This is your future and there is no way to avoid it.Â
Argument for extended periods of chastity
So you want to place your sub or slave into chastity? You've read and heard about all the wonderful benefits male chastity can bring to your relationship, and how it can improve YOUR sex life. What you are uncertain about is how to 'manage' your chaste male. When I say 'manage' I'm referring to how often he is released and permitted to orgasm.
If your goal is simply to add a little spice or kinky play to your relationship, it really doesn't matter how long he is locked up for or how many orgasms he's permitted.
If your goal is to actually improve your sex life and the quality of your overall relationship, then there's ONLY one right answer. That answer is LESS IS BEST when it comes to orgasm frequency.
Let me explain why....Let's say you allow your partner to orgasm on the first of the month then lock him up. It takes the average man about 12 days in chastity to peak, which means on the 12th of the month he is right where you want him. He is patient, attentive, sensitive to your needs and the needs of the relationship, and consumed with thoughts of you and your body. He is also highly trainable at this point and it's easy to modify his unacceptable traits and behaviors.
Now let's say that on the 15th of the month, you decide it's time to give him another orgasm before locking him back up again. It will now take him another 12 days to reach his peak (27th of the month). That leaves you only 3 more days in the month to enjoy him at his peak.
So you had him peaking for 3 days between the 12th and 15th, and another 3 days between the 27th and 30th. He was the man you want and desire for 6 total days and for the remaining 21, he was that other guy. Doesn't sound very appealing does it? When you think about it, this type of schedule resembles kinky play more than anything else.
Now imagine locking him up on the first of the month, and not allowing him to orgasm until the end of the month. Because he will peak by the 12, you now have the guy you want for the remaining 18 days. Again, you only have that guy you want for a little more than half of the month..and you only permitted him to orgasm ONE time.
For behavior modification and maximum benefit to the relationship, most of your chastity cycles NEED to be 6 weeks or more. In fact, 6 weeks is usually my minimum for permitting an orgasm. I will even take my sub up to 3 months at times. Of course he is never aware of when he will be permitted to orgasm, and dare not ask me as there are consequences for pleading and begging.
I want to enjoy chastity for its intended purpose. Sure I enjoy the kinky play, but I enjoy the positive changes it brings to my relationship even more.
She does âtraffic jamâ chastity
Help! My husband asked me to try chastity play but itâs not going well. Usually, right after Iâve let him out, things are fine. He can be a little cool toward me but thatâs fine. But then over the next two days he grows steadily whinier until his begging to be unlocked is intolerable. Not much fun for me or him. I never tell him exactly when Iâll do it, but I almost always take pity on him in the evening on the third or fourth day and let him out to take care of himself. The whole thing has been a bit of a letdown. Is this what everyone is raving about? Surely not.
- Ms. M
No, Ms. M, itâs not and I dare say itâs becauseâŚ
YOUâRE DOING IT WRONG
Okay, thereâs no such thing as right and wrong with intimacy, just different tactics that will yield different results. The tactics youâre using are not aligned with the very achievable results you seek.
Traffic Jam Chastity
Donât you hate idling in a traffic jam? The worst isnât standstill traffic. The worst is traffic that is moving just slow enough so that you canât leave your foot on the gas because you have to keep braking every five seconds. Starting and stopping in crowded traffic is enough to send any driver to road rage court. But that is exactly what youâre doing to your husband.
After a man orgasms his sexual response and interest drop precipitously to their lowest levels. Weâve all seen it. Interest in sex evaporates. Romance and flirting get shoved roughly in a drawer and the male brain hunkers down to git stuf dun.
But, as we know, those rascally males donât stay heads-down for long. Within 24 hours the sexual response begins to slowly return as the prostate refills. He barely notices it at first but by the second and third days it has taken over his one-tracked mind and heâs getting pretty ready for some luvinâ. Shouldnât that mean you should give it to him? Give him some relief?
Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating for a man
No! Let me explain why not. Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating phase of chastity for a man. Why? For the same reason day 3 of any diet is the most temptation prone and why it eliminates so many dieters. Heâs transitioning from getting exactly what his body demands to not. Itâs an uncomfortable change and the body doesnât like it. Every five minutes his body asks âWait, wut? You mean I canât have? Why canât I have? I need! Give me now!â Frustration and irritation mount and, if you do let him orgasm, he will experience immediate relief.
The Goldilocks Phase
Relief is not pleasure. Relief is not useful. Relief, his relief, is not your friend. It lets him off the hook and unravels all that nice tension you just wound into his brain. If you want to experience the benefits of chastity and you want your husband to be floating on the fabled submissive cloud of chaste pleasure then you need to get him past the constant battle for relief and into the Goldilocks Phase.
Sometime after day 4, depending on the man, his body will slowly start to realize that an orgasm is not imminent and therefore itâs a waste of resources to keep expecting relief at any minute. This may take hours or days but he will eventually stabilize into acceptance. Not just mental, but physical acceptance. This is where you want his head.
In the Goldilocks Phase, his expectations have been lowered enough to stop fighting chastity but not so low that he gets depressed. In this phase he is free to simply experience chastity, to experience the sensation of ever growing arousal and ever intensifying desire. For men, desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops, made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. (Donât worry about those They pass quickly.)
Goldilocks is best for you too
Itâs not just him that rides this wave. You benefit most in this period. Rather than spending time fighting chastity and pestering you, his only way out and only listening ear, he spends his time in quiet contemplation. It is this phase that he switches to the long game. Instead of busting out a couple of chores and expecting a tit-for-tat release, he begins to consider the keyholderâs point of view, her needs and her whims. He finds himself doing things that he knows sheâll appreciate and he hardly even notices that heâs doing them. He truly puts her first.
But you need to do it right
But for him to take that view you need to play above his level. Chastity must reinforce the dynamic you want. That means the following:
You never promise a date. You can hint at early release for good behavior or late release for bad, but he must never expect an actual date or time.
You must never cave to begging. He may ask politely once or twice during a stretch of chastity and, if you wish, you may give his request some consideration. But once your decision is made you must stick to it no matter what. I recommend that further begging result in a longer sentence.
Behavior should be tied to chastity. Donât reward bad behavior. If you do youâre just teaching him he can do it and get the rewards.
How Long? Three-to-four weeks
The Goldilocks Period is about three to four weeks long. During this period he will slowly get more and more aroused, experience more and more submissive feelings toward you and become more and more malleable by you.
That long? I couldnât possibly!
To some who are starting out, weeks of lockup might seem cruel. Believe me, itâs not as cruel as what you are doing to him by letting him out every three days, stop and go, hot and cold, up and down. If your doctor prescribed a 20-day course of antibiotics would you stop taking them after three days when you started feeling better? No. The same goes with the man. To get all those benefits you need to keep him locked for the full course. I would say thatâs at least two weeks (in the case of some reward for extra good behavior) but usually three weeks. And up to four (in the case of bad behavior).
How will you know? He will thank you.
How will you know that youâre keeping him locked up long enough? He will thank you. Thatâs right, he will actually thank you for keeping him locked up. It might not happen right away. It might take several rounds, several months for his thinking to evolve but it surely will. Iâve done this to hundreds of men, some in person some online. Every single one of them proactively thanks me at some point. There are other signs as well. Aggressiveness toward you will disappear. Calm, quiet service to you will develop spontaneously. After the letdown of orgasm he will actually crave to go back in chastity. Heâll miss that glow so much heâll want to skip past the next three days so he can get it. Eventually heâll reach the point that he doesnât want to be unlocked when the time rolls around. At that point you can have the magical discussion about⌠wait for it⌠permanent chastity. That, however, is a discussion for another day.
So man-up, ladies and lock him down and swear off traffic jam chastity forever.

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Be Prepared for Chastity
Prepared for Chastity
For any male who thinks that they will be prepared for what happens when they consent to entering into a chastity agreement with their partner, think again. Nothing you will do, have done, will think or imagine can prepare you for what you will experience and what changes will happen to both of you.Â
The moment she takes ownership of your cock is exciting but nothing like the onset of the deeper feeling of being owned and denied by a girl who will quickly become a goddess. Almost immediately and then reinforced for as long as she is in control, you are bound irresistibly.Â
You want to do everything in your power to please her and will go to extraordinary lengths to do so. Your heart and cock make you worship the ground she walks on and hank her for every titbit of attention and affection. In fact once locked some kinds need to be reminded that she might need some space. She knows you are locked and needy, but still decides when, where and how you get to show your humble willingness to please.Â
You are in this cage for a reason. It is the physical proof that signifies that your sexual wants and needs have become inconsequential. And its not your choice any more so get used to it. The needs of the submissive male are outweighed by the greater power of the girl who owns you. Â She must deserve and demand all the pleasure, fulfillment, orgasms or anything else sexual or non-sexual. Â Eventually the chaste male will begin to realize that her happiness is your pleasure. His selfless efforts are their own reward.
She inevitably grows more confident. She will surprise with her demeanour and inventiveness as she drives the relationship. She is meant to lead and not follow anyway. The locked male has no other option but to embrace and serve. Chastity will serve as a powerful driving force for him to achieve her goals. Â
When you fail in any way you must be prepared to go through torture and pain as punishment. In fact you will crave it to prove your worthiness as you will for any touch or caress, whip, cane and paddle strike, rejoicing when you have colouring or marks to display proving your worth. At the very least each punishment will likely fit the crime so you should endure these with a view to making you a better submissive.
In the same way your humiliation and embarrassment will reinforce your inferior status in both of your minds. Anything you suffer gives a strange thrill and willing ness to accept because it is her bidding. Â Â
Remember there is no greater calling than to be able to serve an intelligent beautiful woman of your dreams.Â
@hiskeyholder69
Start prepping!
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