Good FLR Reading

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I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone.

Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn’t interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.

Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!

I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.

DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION 

This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.

Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:

High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.

Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.

Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else.

Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.

Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.

French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later.

Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.

Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.

Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.

Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!

Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.

Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!

Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:

Deepthroat training. Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. he’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesn’t fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. That’s OK. Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”)

EDIT: I’ve received several questions about this point. I’ll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he won’t get there without proper training.

Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn’t have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.

Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.

Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,

Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.

Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)

Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.

Golden showers. We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.

Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.

You degrading him.

Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.

Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.

Combine insults. Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.” “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?”

Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.” Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.” Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”.

Tell him what you’re going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.

Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.

Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.

Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn’t even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.

Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t).

Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.

Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)

Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries.

Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.

Wearing plugs or other toys in public.

And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do……

Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:

Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.

Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.

If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.

While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.

Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.

Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.

However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.

EDIT: Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch. I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it! He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!

ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!

For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.

PAIN AND CONTROL

DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here. This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.

There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.

Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. “I slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slap”

Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.

Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.

Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here’s a list of techniques I use.

Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.

Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.

Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)

Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.

Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.

Chemical Play. Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently. Here’s a list of things we’ve tried.

Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol.

Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.

Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night.

Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We’ve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man’s experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment.

Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).

Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told. This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he’ll do it. This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.

Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do. If he doesn’t, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.

This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I’ll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he’s still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.

FRUSTRATION/TEASING

This is really quite simple. When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.

Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice” (available at  www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.

There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:

Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)

Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey.

Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.

Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.

One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.

I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.

Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.

Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.

SERVICE

So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man’s fetish, and that’s ok. I do love him, and I don’t have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I’m going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I’ll detail how that all works for us now.

Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That’s just how it goes. I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)

Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.

As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we’ve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn’t decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That’s up to me now. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn’t get to complain, and he doesn’t get to turn me down when I want it either.

The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.

But this isn’t limited to sexual service only.

Domestic Service. Basics. When we’re in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he’s ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I’ve told him to do while I relax. After he’s done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some “punishment” he wants.

This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there’s a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.

Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples: 

Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.

Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. He’s also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails. 

Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times I’ll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. It’s really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied. 

Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically he’s making out with my asshole. It’s a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

I’ve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.

I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.

For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.

I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.

I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.

Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.

So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)

There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.

This is awesome. Just pure awesome. Thanks Albany Hotwife! 

From: http://albanyhotwife.tumblr.com/page/10

Techniques For Hotwives; I absolutely love being a hotwife. One of the best parts for me is driving my husband insane with lust for me by giving him just the right blend of teasing and reassurance. Not only do I get the freedom and variety of choosing my own sexual partners, but I also get a husband who burns with desire for me. For the purpose of this entry I’m going to use the term hotwife for any wife with permission to play, cuckoldress for a hotwife who emphasizes her dominance in the sexual relationship, huband for the hotwife’s primary partner (could easily be a fiance or boyfriend), and lover for the other sex partner who’s not the husband.

Here are some techniques I regularly use that I’ve found hotwives and cuckoldresses can use to make their encounters extra fun for their husbands and for themselves.

When Husband is Watching You with Another Man

Eye Contact* - Nothing will arouse and tease your husband like strong eye contact with him. Eye contact says, “Look at me!” and makes it impossible for either of you to ignore or trivialize what’s going on. Eye contact can be gentle or fierce, depending on your style and the message you’re trying to send. I prefer to lock eyes for a long time, then wink or smile right before I look away. I like to lock eyes with my husband while I’m blowing my lover.

Smile* - Smiling is both a tease and a reassurance. It says both, “Look how much fun I’m having!” and “Everything is OK.” I love to smile at him when I’m riding my lover cowgirl-style.

Say Something* - You don’t have to jabber away, but it’s fun to say things now and then. I love dirty talk with my lover while my husband’s watching. I also like to interact with him, asking, “How are you liking the show?” or “Don’t you wish you were doing this?” I also encourage my lover to talk about how good everything feels and how much fun he’s having. Moaning, screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, etc. are all great things to do, too. It’s also cute to call you husband by terms of endearment like honey, baby, etc. when you’re being fucked by another man.

Dress Up* - High heel shoes, lingerie, nicely done nails, and perfume all say, “I’m putting effort into looking fucking hot for my lover!” You husband will be aroused by your appearance and jealous of the effort to look good for another guy.

When Husband is Listening from Another Room

Go Nuts* - Scream, cry, moan, laugh, beg, talk dirty, giggle, and slurp. Encourage your lover to slap your butt. These sounds will float through the closed door and to your husband’s ears, driving him wild with desire and jealousy.

Emerge, then Vanish* - Take a break from fucking. Go out into the room where your husband is: hair a mess, makeup smeared. Have a glass of water. Say hi to your husband. Then, go back to the bedroom. Close the door. Lock it.

Make a Movie* - Film your bedroom romp. Hook the camera in your room to the TV in the room where he’s sitting so he can watch live feed! He’ll be scratching at the door in no time.

When Husband is Not Around

Call Him* - It’s fun to call him and put the phone on speaker phone while you’re getting railed. Then, husband can listen! Even more fun (for you cuckoldresses) is let your other guy call from his phone instead. It’s more humiliating.

Texts* - Like above, but text dirty things. What you’re doing, feeling, etc. Have your other guy send husband dirty pics of what you’re doing.

Get Caught* - I love having my husband walk in on me when he’s not expecting anything. Just make sure that you know he’d be OK with this, and that your lover is also OK with this. Some people don’t like surprises.

Leave Evidence* - Your lingerie lying around the bed, sex toys on the nightstand, or a condom in the garbage all remind your husband of what you were doing in his absence.

have you ever tried to welcome her when she comes home in a way that reflects how much you admire her, and how powerful she is over you? here are a few suggestions for those of you who like doing that, or might be considering the idea:

for subs

learn her schedule, and do your best to adapt to it. she’s your priority, remember that.

show her how happy you are to have her back home - don't’ spare words, and if you missed her, tell her that: say it out loud before her, on your knees. she’ll probably like to know you’ve been missing her badly. 

don’t only greet her, but instead, worship her from the moment she steps inside the house: you can throw yourself at her feet, bow for her, kiss her hands, her feet, beg for her, say how much you missed her and how much you want her. whatever you choose, whatever she likes, whatever you do, remember: make her feel adored and special, from the moment she walks in. 

show her with both words and actions that you’re more than happy to be at her service and obey her every whim if she’d be so kind as to use you; in other words, show her you’re more than happy to be her slave as soon as she gets home, if she’s in the mood for that. explain to her that if she chose to do so, you’d be very happy and that she’d be somewhat doing you a favour, really!

take initiative when greeting her: offer to pick up her bags, purses, etc and put things away; serve her something to drink if she’s thirsty; if she allows you, remove her shoes, and give her a foot massage, etc.

tidy up the house. make sure things are clean and organised when she gets home. (click here for some info & tips on domestic servitude)

surprise her with something nice upon her arrival. for instance, you can buy her flowers to give her when she’s back home. or chocolates, perhaps. alternatively, you could write her a special “welcome” card. maybe you could do all these three things combined, surely she won’t mind, would she? these small gestures can be quite powerful and romantic (to some, even hot!). they are ideal for occasions when you haven’t seen each other for a little while, like a couple of days, due to one of you being too busy with work, or a trip, etc. 

for dommes

build up his anticipation for you. tease him, or whisper things to his ears before you leave the house. alternatively, you can text him when you’re out to tell him when he should be expecting you back. if you’re feeling cruel and playful enough you can even send him a photo of your legs and feet followed by a provocative message like “this is where I expect you to be when I get back home” or give him exact instructions of what he should be wearing (or not) and what pose he should be at, when he greets you back home. in other words, build up his anticipation and make him feel excited to be waiting eagerly for you. 

tell him you like it when he greets you like that, or tell him that you’ve been thinking about it. I know, that doesn’t sound like a real tip at all, but trust me sometimes we forget how powerful and hot it can be for a sub to hear these things. so don’t spare words to explain how you’d like to be greeted by your sub upon your arrival at home: let your words become a form of control in itself, making him go over and over them in his mind during your absence, to the point of driving him crazy and make him count down the seconds until you’re back. 

don’t tell him just “how” you’d like to be greeted, by also “why” you want that - make sure he understands how powerful, how pleasant, how nice it is for you to have such a view when you come home. don’t be afraid to tell him whenever you want him as your slave - he’ll love you forever for doing so. 

enjoy the moment and don’t worry about protocols. for instance, if you come home and you find your man, on his knees, telling you he missed you badly, and you end up melting down a little bit to the sight of that and all you want to do is to kiss him all over, then, by all means, allow yourself to do so. don’t limit yourself, after all this is all about you! plus it won’t ruin the moment. you can have a few minutes of intimacy for the two of you, to kiss each other, exchange caresses, etc. you can do these things before you go back to a more playful mood. all you’d have to do is to mark the transition: for instance, you can push him away, and say something like “now, save it for later, darling, when we’re in bed and cuddling; right now, I want you under my control. get back to your knees, and tell me how much you want to be my slave and how much you missed me, starting now.” alternatively, you can also just go straight into a playful mode as soon as you walk in, catching him almost off-guard. it’s all up to you, and your mood on the occasion. 

challenge your sub, push his limits. is he already on his knees, worshipping you, kissing you, telling you how much he missed you? well, take advantage of that to push him harder if you want. you can tell him that’s not enough, that you want more, that you’re not just happy with being wanted and missed but that you want him to be desperately in need of you, that you want him to crave you so badly that he’d be willing to do anything for you (in a safe and consensual way). you could even be a bit cruel to him - chances are, he’ll probably love you even more for that. and it might end up being quite a turn on to do some cruel things to him, and ask him if he still wants you, or if he regrets it, just to find out that he not only doesn’t regret anything but that he wants you even more than before, if that’s even possible. greeting you like that can be a perfect tool then to put him on the right mindset for you, from the beginning. 

how about you is that something you enjoy as well? 

please, reblog and spread the love! (more femdom suggestions, here) 

For the strong and sexy Alpha Woman! Support the cause!

I discovered a similar contract in Tumblr, adapted a few clauses, proposed it to my girlfriend as written below … and we signed it! What will happen from now and on, who knows… 

This agreement is strictly between _________________________ (She) and _________________________ (He). The agreement fully releases all rights of ownership of the penis of him and transfers all rights to her. This agreement is valid for 30 days beginning the day it is signed.

Effective immediately the following rules of agreement will be fully enforced. Failure to follow these rules will result in punishment.

1.      He no longer owns the penis, all rights and ownership belongs to her. He will not refer to the penis as his own by use of words that suggests he still has ownership over it.

2.      He is to remain in the chastity device at all times, she will decide if and when it is allowed to be removed.

3.      All body hair must be trimmed and well maintained. And he must maintain excellent cleanliness of his body and the device. He will be released no less than 3 times per week for cleaning.

4.      He will not question nor nag about the time of chastity and possible release. The length of time she chooses to lock her penis up and restrict it from orgasm is her right and her decision.

5.      He must sleep naked so that she has full access to his body anytime she wants it throughout the night.

6.      Because the penis is now hers, he must inform her each time he experiences an erection and explain why the erection had taken place.

7.      He will be restricted from viewing pornographic material unless accompanied by her.

8.      Sex does not always mean removal of the chastity device, for she has the right to use him as a toy for her pleasure. He will be required to bring her to unlimited orgasms every night or as she pleases. She has the right to unlock him for sex anytime she desires. This does not mean he is allowed to ejaculate.

9.      She will unlock him for a teasing session at least 3 times per week. He may be brought to the brink of ejaculation many times before being allowed to experience full release, which will occur on very limited occasions. She will always choose when ejaculations occur. And she does not have to tell, and may lie about, whether she is going to allow him to orgasm or not.

10.  He will be allowed a maximum of 2-3 ejaculations every 30 days. At any time, if he feels that ejaculation is arriving he must notify her immediately; if ‘accidental’ ejaculation occurs he must be punished. No exceptions.

11.  He will be restrained during times of release. He will not touch the penis unless instructed by her. He will be relocked into chastity device before the restraints are removed.

12.  He must provide her with treatment worthy of a goddess and will be required to give back rub, feet rub, cunnilingus, annilingus or whatever kind of manual or oral massage she chooses, any time she wants.

13.  Given that his penis is hers and only hers, he is absolutely forbidden to hold any type of sexual relation with other women. Not meeting with this rule will be hardly punished. No exceptions.

14.  Whenever visiting a nude spa, beach or resort, she has the right to expose him naked and caged, to prevent unwanted euphoria, so as to publicly show her full ownership over his penis.

15.  Since her pleasure is the main priority in this contract, she is naturally allowed to have sporadic sex with any other men if she chooses to, under the condition of maintaining adequate sanitary protection. For a matter of mutual trust, she will keep him informed of these relationships, without saving any details, before and after they actually take place.

16.  And given the position of sexual dominance that she acquires through this contract, she is fully entitled and may choose make him watch her having casual sex with any other men. Always restricted within the chastity cage, he must give her full support and be available to collaborate in the necessary duties during any such intercourse; this includes tenderly holding her hand, deep kissing her, keeping her legs wide open, or using his tongue to prepare her pussy before sex or cleaning it up once she is fully satisfied. When these situations take place, she will share her pleasure with him, keep eye contact and seek for his complicity, especially every time she is coming to a new climax.

17.  He will focus only on her pleasure; thoughts of his own pleasure will only distract him from properly performing his duties to her high standards. Failure to meet her high standards of performance will result in 2 days’ time extended in chastity. No exceptions.

18.  Breaking any of these rules will result in punishment for him/time in chastity extended. If he misbehaves in public all she has to say is a number and he knows that is the amount of days added to his time in chastity.

19.  Time in chastity can always be extended any time she sees fit.

20.  She has the authority to change/ add any rules to this contract anytime she wants.

I __________________here by agree to these terms

______________________________

I __________________here by agree to these terms


Please don’t insult my intelligence, I grew up with three older brothers in a small house with paper thin walls I could hear them and more often than not caught them fucking their hands whenever they could

I dated a few guys who swore they never wanked themselves off but a woman knows, be it the smell on their hands, their lack of lustre in the bedroom or their high emotional testosterone fuelled emotions to quiet low testosterone fuelled politeness and complacency to name but a few I’m sure other ladies will have other signals too.

The honour system please, leave a guy alone long enough and he’ll have his cock in his hand tugging on it like his very life depends upon it focused entirely on his own pleasure.

My husband too swore he never pleasured himself, until I caught him wanking in the shower oblivious to my presence, eyes tightly closed lost in his own pleasure

Men are basically liars they can’t help it, it stems from their childhood when all those hormones and testosterone chemicals clouded their minds with their cocks screaming for attention they became addicted to self-gratification.

There is only one way to prevent a guy from masturbating, okay there is another way but that involves surgery, the one I prefer is locking their cocks in a cage or a cock muzzle which ever term you prefer, they need our help to stop. 

Help! My husband asked me to try chastity play but it’s not going well. Usually, right after I’ve let him out, things are fine. He can be a little cool toward me but that’s fine. But then over the next two days he grows steadily whinier until his begging to be unlocked is intolerable. Not much fun for me or him. I never tell him exactly when I’ll do it, but I almost always take pity on him in the evening on the third or fourth day and let him out to take care of himself. The whole thing has been a bit of a letdown. Is this what everyone is raving about? Surely not.

- Ms. M

No, Ms. M, it’s not and I dare say it’s because…

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

Okay, there’s no such thing as right and wrong with intimacy, just different tactics that will yield different results. The tactics you’re using are not aligned with the very achievable results you seek.

Traffic Jam Chastity

Don’t you hate idling in a traffic jam? The worst isn’t standstill traffic. The worst is traffic that is moving just slow enough so that you can’t leave your foot on the gas because you have to keep braking every five seconds. Starting and stopping in crowded traffic is enough to send any driver to road rage court. But that is exactly what you’re doing to your husband.

After a man orgasms his sexual response and interest drop precipitously to their lowest levels. We’ve all seen it. Interest in sex evaporates. Romance and flirting get shoved roughly in a drawer and the male brain hunkers down to git stuf dun.

But, as we know, those rascally males don’t stay heads-down for long. Within 24 hours the sexual response begins to slowly return as the prostate refills. He barely notices it at first but by the second and third days it has taken over his one-tracked mind and he’s getting pretty ready for some luvin’. Shouldn’t that mean you should give it to him? Give him some relief?

Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating for a man

No! Let me explain why not. Days 2 and 3 are the most irritating phase of chastity for a man. Why? For the same reason day 3 of any diet is the most temptation prone and why it eliminates so many dieters. He’s transitioning from getting exactly what his body demands to not. It’s an uncomfortable change and the body doesn’t like it. Every five minutes his body asks “Wait, wut? You mean I can’t have? Why can’t I have? I need! Give me now!” Frustration and irritation mount and, if you do let him orgasm, he will experience immediate relief.

The Goldilocks Phase

Relief is not pleasure. Relief is not useful. Relief, his relief, is not your friend. It lets him off the hook and unravels all that nice tension you just wound into his brain. If you want to experience the benefits of chastity and you want your husband to be floating on the fabled submissive cloud of chaste pleasure then you need to get him past the constant battle for relief and into the Goldilocks Phase.

Sometime after day 4, depending on the man, his body will slowly start to realize that an orgasm is not imminent and therefore it’s a waste of resources to keep expecting relief at any minute. This may take hours or days but he will eventually stabilize into acceptance. Not just mental, but physical acceptance. This is where you want his head.

In the Goldilocks Phase, his expectations have been lowered enough to stop fighting chastity but not so low that he gets depressed. In this phase he is free to simply experience chastity, to experience the sensation of ever growing arousal and ever intensifying desire. For men, desire is pleasure. This will be a sweet sensation that never stops, made just a little bittersweet by occasional waves of overwhelming need. (Don’t worry about those They pass quickly.)

Goldilocks is best for you too

It’s not just him that rides this wave. You benefit most in this period. Rather than spending time fighting chastity and pestering you, his only way out and only listening ear, he spends his time in quiet contemplation. It is this phase that he switches to the long game. Instead of busting out a couple of chores and expecting a tit-for-tat release, he begins to consider the keyholder’s point of view, her needs and her whims. He finds himself doing things that he knows she’ll appreciate and he hardly even notices that he’s doing them. He truly puts her first.

But you need to do it right

But for him to take that view you need to play above his level. Chastity must reinforce the dynamic you want. That means the following:

You never promise a date. You can hint at early release for good behavior or late release for bad, but he must never expect an actual date or time.

You must never cave to begging. He may ask politely once or twice during a stretch of chastity and, if you wish, you may give his request some consideration. But once your decision is made you must stick to it no matter what. I recommend that further begging result in a longer sentence.

Behavior should be tied to chastity. Don’t reward bad behavior. If you do you’re just teaching him he can do it and get the rewards.

How Long? Three-to-four weeks

The Goldilocks Period is about three to four weeks long. During this period he will slowly get more and more aroused, experience more and more submissive feelings toward you and become more and more malleable by you.

That long? I couldn’t possibly!

To some who are starting out, weeks of lockup might seem cruel. Believe me, it’s not as cruel as what you are doing to him by letting him out every three days, stop and go, hot and cold, up and down. If your doctor prescribed a 20-day course of antibiotics would you stop taking them after three days when you started feeling better? No. The same goes with the man. To get all those benefits you need to keep him locked for the full course. I would say that’s at least two weeks (in the case of some reward for extra good behavior) but usually three weeks. And up to four (in the case of bad behavior).

How will you know? He will thank you.

How will you know that you’re keeping him locked up long enough? He will thank you. That’s right, he will actually thank you for keeping him locked up. It might not happen right away. It might take several rounds, several months for his thinking to evolve but it surely will. I’ve done this to hundreds of men, some in person some online. Every single one of them proactively thanks me at some point. There are other signs as well. Aggressiveness toward you will disappear. Calm, quiet service to you will develop spontaneously. After the letdown of orgasm he will actually crave to go back in chastity. He’ll miss that glow so much he’ll want to skip past the next three days so he can get it. Eventually he’ll reach the point that he doesn’t want to be unlocked when the time rolls around. At that point you can have the magical discussion about… wait for it… permanent chastity. That, however, is a discussion for another day.

For any male who thinks that they will be prepared for what happens when they consent to entering into a chastity agreement with their partner, think again. Nothing you will do, have done, will think or imagine can prepare you for what you will experience and what changes will happen to both of you. 

The moment she takes ownership of your cock is exciting but nothing like the onset of the deeper feeling of being owned and denied by a girl who will quickly become a goddess. Almost immediately and then reinforced for as long as she is in control, you are bound irresistibly. 

You want to do everything in your power to please her and will go to extraordinary lengths to do so. Your heart and cock make you worship the ground she walks on and hank her for every titbit of attention and affection. In fact once locked some kinds need to be reminded that she might need some space. She knows you are locked and needy, but still decides when, where and how you get to show your humble willingness to please. 

You are in this cage for a reason. It is the physical proof that signifies that your sexual wants and needs have become inconsequential. And its not your choice any more so get used to it. The needs of the submissive male are outweighed by the greater power of the girl who owns you.  She must deserve and demand all the pleasure, fulfillment, orgasms or anything else sexual or non-sexual.  Eventually the chaste male will begin to realize that her happiness is your pleasure. His selfless efforts are their own reward.

She inevitably grows more confident. She will surprise with her demeanour and inventiveness as she drives the relationship. She is meant to lead and not follow anyway. The locked male has no other option but to embrace and serve. Chastity will serve as a powerful driving force for him to achieve her goals.  

When you fail in any way you must be prepared to go through torture and pain as punishment. In fact you will crave it to prove your worthiness as you will for any touch or caress, whip, cane and paddle strike, rejoicing when you have colouring or marks to display proving your worth. At the very least each punishment will likely fit the crime so you should endure these with a view to making you a better submissive.

In the same way your humiliation and embarrassment will reinforce your inferior status in both of your minds. Anything you suffer gives a strange thrill and willing ness to accept because it is her bidding.    

Remember there is no greater calling than to be able to serve an intelligent beautiful woman of your dreams.