Listen, I’m Pissed.

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free

suddenly remembered that pjotwt incident where show fans dogged on latinopercy's fanart of latino percy to "defend" walker and one of the comments said that the piece didn't feel like percy because he looked "too angry" and . [insert plethora of generational curses here] now it has me thinking about surreptitious fandom racism in how people seem to be receiving and interpreting show percy (a blond, blue-eyed pale kid) vs book percy (who's commonly depicted as a darker-skinned boy of color)

there’s just something about thalia that despite wanting to do the right thing for olympus she would have destroyed it one way or another

”i’m probably doing it for attention” after not telling a living soul

those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine

some of hazel's most defining quotes/moments are about choosing her own path and refusing to let others define her, not to mention that her powers literally let her define new pathways. from the beginning, she dislikes being paired with frank by others, resents nico for calling her bianca, hates how being pluto's daughter/in the fifth cohort dictates how she's treated by others. and even in her first life, even under everything that she was suffering, we still see moments of rebellion. she curses at her teachers and sneaks into segregated riding clubs and defends her mother to school bullies. but then when it comes to her mother she never once pushes back, even internally, against what her mother calls her. she doesn't disagree with being called a poisoned child, she doesn't fight that even in her own mind. it very clearly lingers with her but she doesn't try to process it or how she feels about it like she does everything else. in most cases hazel has a lot of self possession and a well developed sense of herself but it doesn't even occur to her in that moment that her mother could have been wrong about her.

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

good morning to everyone except for me, who is thinking about how percy instinctively feels safe in the water to the degree that when he's burning alive and in indescribable pain he just summons an ocean. the exact line is like, "i needed the water," and it's just, out of context, he sounds like a college-aged huntington beach surfer dweeb who lives on his board and reads poetry about the power of the ocean. but in context, he's fourteen, in too much pain to think, and he brings the one thing that has pretty much always guaranteed immediate safety to his immediate person. he said fuck it, emotional support ocean. this is especially interesting if you remember how many lines percy has in the first series about feeling so bad he wishes he could drown. that's emotionally upsetting, the fact that even his emotional support H2O, the place where he - a kid who is used to feeling attacked and physically threatened - is literally nearly invulnerable, is also a place he thinks, "i wish this could hurt me," about. even the places percy feels safest, like with his mother, are places he feels like ought to hurt him, because they can. he knows that intimately. this is too fucking sad, instead can we think about percy listening to a very poetic common octopus talk about the power of the ocean and percy just nodding along like, "yeah, man, that's - it really is like that, you know, how the tides.... they just fuckin' go. can't stop the tides. the moon, you know, it's the - oh, the moon? it's, the, the sky... orb. i'm sorry, man, i forgot that octopus school doesn't have earth science."

“I wish this could hurt me” is physically painful to read what have you done

yeah on second thought it was a little intense of me to put that in a post that i then went on to end with "i forgot octopus school doesn't have earth science"

yeah that was a BIT of mood whiplash

what can i say, all this bitch knows is mood whiplash, absurd comedy, bad posts, eat hot chip & lie

this was a bad post because not enough people are yelling at me in the tags. what do you want? what more do you want from me? do you want me to take you by the hands and say, “percy’s phobia of drowning in HOO was a tragic missed opportunity for an arc about how people who are used to the threat of violence or the threat of emotional harm can come to expect it from anywhere, even the places they rely on as safe. that the expectation of harm coincides with the belief of battered kids that they deserve it, because the brain of abused kids seeks to protect the validity of the abuser, especially at the cost of the self. the transition of percy finding comfort in a place that is natural to him with the occasional thought of it being dangerous, to an active fear of it, to believing he deserves the harm it can cause and will passively allow it to happen, is actually a good representation of the cycles people who were abused as children can fall into. it might be in relation to a magical idea, percy’s impossible and inhuman connection to the ocean, but that psychological process is a rational one for people who have that history to engage in. i remain very fucking angry that it was hand-waved as some mild bullshit about expectations, one really godawful conversation was had about it, and then it was ignored. i weep for its potential. i weep for the drama and the closure.” what more do you want. what will it take for you people to yell at me.

i wish I could yell at you, but I can’t because I also like turning everything under the sun into something a person could cry about, and I don’t wanna be a hypocrite

chiron said it would be better if nico died before knowing nico was a child of hades. percy lying to chiron and making himself a target to kronos is the only thing that stopped nico from being hunted down like an animal, like percy.