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It’s more like I go around wishing I wasn’t living so I don’t actually care or listen or soak in what is being said or is happening around me. Today was picture day. It was said by Ethan yesterday tomorrow will be picture day deep down in me if I cared about living maybe I would have remembered that he said that. That’s not my reality my reality is pretending to be alive. I don’t want to have to do this anymore. My baseline for life is on edge physically to be more specific. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That feeling is me just being. And it’s most days for most of the day. How do I have time to remember pictures. Let’s also look at the things I do do. I do them when I’ve hit my limit like the dishes or laundry. But having to accept life means picking up my shirt ever day. Oh well depression I guess.