no but seriously

Hate diet culture so much bitches will b like “don’t eat processed carbs they’re so bad for you” like and??? So what?? God did not give us grain and stone to grind it with for no reason. Bread is inevitable. Bread is food for the heart and the soul. U think I’m gonna give that up in pursuit of instagram fitness?? U think I’m gonna deny myself the simple pleasure of toast with jam so I can endlessly chase an ever-shifting standard of beauty that ultimately means nothing? In 20 years I will no longer be beautiful and in 60 my body will be vacant food for other, smaller creatures. But the taste of fresh bread? Of homemade donuts and still-warm pie? I will carry the taste on my tongue into whatever follows this life. So like. Stop telling me I should diet lmao. I’m not abt to martyr myself just to get a man to look at me.

weatherboy (derogatory)

op what does this mean

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

The way the quality just abruptly downgrades with an unreadable yet absurd expression on their face really sells this

my roommates keep bullying my cat by calling his name repeatedly to get his attention and then going “bababooie” every time he looks at them

totally forgot that Achilles owns talking horses that prophesy his imminent death when he tries to ride them. so. that’s horrific.

#I assume all horses do this we just can't understand them (via @ponyregrets)

it sucks that once you're 21 you've unlocked all the age restricted privileges you'll ever get. I think it should go on as you get older. after 30 piracy is allowed. at 42 you're allowed to shoplift. once you're 65 all drugs are legal. after 80 you can do arson. if you make it to 100 you're allowed to commit a murder.

At 25 you can rent a car without extra fees and I have it on fairly good authority that after 50 if you’re a woman you become invisible