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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Mike Driver
YOU ARE THE REASON

★
Keni
ojovivo
Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

occasionally subtle

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@whatanawkwardsituation

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Fuck the queue function. I’m hitting y’all with four straight hours of whirlwind shitposting followed by eight days of radio silence.
Ah, the two genders.
Straight Man
Straight Woman
*hacker voice* i’m in
I EXPECTED NO LESS, godspeed Capitalists
Are you fucking kidding me
sometimes a clown is in your house. sometimes not. depends.

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I just saw the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life. I was sitting at Starbucks with a friend. It was crowded. We actually had to stand around for a minute or two waiting for a table to open up for us. There was a girl spread out alone at the table beside us. She was studying, so the table was covered in books, papers, her laptop, etc. This guy walks up and asks if he can share her table since there aren’t any empty tables at the moment. Despite being obviously uncomfortable, she says yes. Completely oblivious–or just not caring–he stands there and watches while she moves her stuff to make room for him, and then he sits down and spreads out on the table. She has friends at other tables, and she is sending them distress signals with her eyes basically the entire time. He does not take the hint and move. At one point, some of her friends actually came over to talk to her on their way out, and they commented that their table had opened up, thinking he would take the hint and move. Not only did he not take the hint and move, he never so much as offered to make room for them to join her as they stood around the table and talked to her for nearly twenty minutes. Other tables open up, but he stays at hers. Eventually, she gets up to move so she can have her own space. He actually lets HER be the one who has to pack up and move even though HE is the one who capitalized on her politeness and invaded her space. As she stands to move, he thanks her for her table.
I know that kind of thing happens every single day on a much larger scale. I know that girl just felt mildly annoyed and taken advantage of, and that moving to another table was an easy solution, and no one was hurt by the incident. Like, I know that. But it still just makes me so angry. The entitlement and the disregard for another person’s space, privacy, and comfort is infuriating. And that’s before I even factor in that it was a man imposing on a woman. My friend and I remarked that we would have told him no from the start, but it was so clear that she wanted to say no, and any woman could give you a list of reasons she might have said yes despite not wanting to. But to this man, there was no problem. He was polite. He asked first. She never voiced any objections. And he didn’t ask her to get up and move; she did so of her own accord. So to him, this entire situation was totally fine. But I think it says something that he chose her when there were men sitting alone he could have imposed on without the obvious potential for discomfort and intimidation. But he didn’t. He imposed on her. And even when the situation no longer necessitated that he share a table with someone, he took for granted that it was now HIS space and that she should be the one to relocate.
I think about situations like this alongside the Aziz Ansari issue, and I think about all the people–women included–I heard placing blame on the woman for not explicitly saying no despite the fact that she obviously did not like what was happening. I know there is a huge difference between a woman feeling pressured into consenting to share half of her table with a man and a woman feeling pressured into consenting to a sexual encounter she doesn’t want with a man. But I definitely think that what I witnessed today is a symptom of that bigger problem. I don’t know what I would have done in either woman’s place. I’d like to think I would have voiced my objections explicitly, but I don’t know if I would have. I would have wanted to be polite. I would have been afraid of offending. And I know that those things compounded with fear are why both of these women went along with what these men asked of them.
I think it’s also worth noting that consent is something that can be taken back. It can be expressively given and then retracted. The woman who came forward about her experience with Ansari voluntarily went out with him and back to his apartment. She participated in sexual activity with him (however reluctant she might have been). And she received a ton of criticism based on that fact. People placed a lot of the blame on her for consenting to any degree initially and then changing her mind. How was he supposed to know what she wanted? Did she expect him to read her mind? Well, no, of course not. But he could try reading body language, reading for the subtext behind what she says when she asks to slow things down. Basically, he could not assume that he is entitled to her body in whatever way he wants because she consented to any other act at any other point. To me, that’s just basic regard for another human being’s comfort. I see that on a smaller scale with this girl in Starbucks. She did consent to let him share her table. She implicitly expressed reluctance, but she said yes and moved her stuff out of his way. Just like Ansari, he can’t read minds, but also like Ansari, he paid no attention to what her body language was telling him. And even after she went to physically move to another table, it didn’t occur to him that he’d done anything wrong. He thanked her. He was polite. And hey, so was Ansari.
Am I saying I think this random Starbucks guy is a monster or a predator? No, of course not. Possibly this is all very unfair to him. I don’t know.
Anyway, I know I’m not saying anything that hasn’t already been said here. I just needed to vent about it because as small and insignificant a thing as it was, it really bothered me, and I can’t shake it. So here, have it.
This is a really good POV to voice because the problem stretches across so many dynamics. It can be as big as an Aziz Ansari situation or as small as this moment in a Starbucks. It’s important to point out that they all stem from a similar place, regardless of scale. All parts of this conversation are important.
Look, this is when something becomes a non-issue. We can’t have a perfect world where everyone is in tune with each each other and no one is ever uncomfortable. Where you’re trying to expose a gender issue, you’re also creating an ableist argument. As an autistic person, my energy is drained so fast when i have to interact with people I’m not familiar with because i’m constantly trying to keep up with non verbal cues; so much so that i often come across as quite dull in conversation because i never seem to be able to put thoughts together when my brain is so preoccupied. I do always try to be hyper aware because I’ve been brought up that way, always thinking of other people before myself to an entirely unhealthy extent, but it’s unfair to expect that of everyone. Being direct and communicating is the only way we can solve issues like this.
if the girl in the scenario was as uncomfortable as you describe, she could have mentioned the empty table when she noticed it. Even if she hadn’t wanted to be direct she could have made a number of excuses such as “My study partner is going to be here in ten minutes and that table just cleared, would you mind moving?”. If he refused, then yah, asshole.
As someone who obviously knows their body language, speak up for other people if you like but don’t place blame on people who’ve asked for consent, it undermines the actual problem.
I think it highlights the problem. I think that by taking the attitude that a woman has to choose between saying no explicitly (which again, she may choose not to do for a myriad of reasons) or being uncomfortable is how we end up in a place where as a society, we are comfortable excusing the actions of an Aziz Ansari and blaming his victim.
I do agree with you that the Starbucks incident was small in comparison, but like I said in my original post, I think it is a symptom of the larger problem.
I don’t think it’s unfair to expect people to show one another the basic courtesy of respecting their comfort. Yes, she could have told him the truth. Yes, she could have lied. But none of that is the point. In the Ansari instance, the woman could have explicitly said no from the beginning. She could have left the apartment sooner. But she didn’t, and that fact does not change the fact that she was still the victim of a sexual assault. As a society, we shouldn’t say to her, “If you can’t say no directly, you’re going to be a little uncomfortable.” I’m not trying to make it a non-issue. I’m pointing out that that IS the issue.
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
do u ever remember all the horrible offensve things u said when u were like 15 and u literally feel ur soul detach and turn 2 dust
your fave is problematic: yourself
Basically, yeah. That’s kind of the point – you always have to look back on yourself and be mortified and resolve to be better. Shit, the stuff I said just five YEARS ago (and I’m almost 33) makes me cringe like a motherfucker. Burn in mortification. Rise from the ashes and be better. Lather, rinse, repeat for the rest of your life.
This is why purity culture doesn’t work!!! We’re all shit! We can all grow and do better!
I just saw the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life. I was sitting at Starbucks with a friend. It was crowded. We actually had to stand around for a minute or two waiting for a table to open up for us. There was a girl spread out alone at the table beside us. She was studying, so the table was covered in books, papers, her laptop, etc. This guy walks up and asks if he can share her table since there aren’t any empty tables at the moment. Despite being obviously uncomfortable, she says yes. Completely oblivious--or just not caring--he stands there and watches while she moves her stuff to make room for him, and then he sits down and spreads out on the table. She has friends at other tables, and she is sending them distress signals with her eyes basically the entire time. He does not take the hint and move. At one point, some of her friends actually came over to talk to her on their way out, and they commented that their table had opened up, thinking he would take the hint and move. Not only did he not take the hint and move, he never so much as offered to make room for them to join her as they stood around the table and talked to her for nearly twenty minutes. Other tables open up, but he stays at hers. Eventually, she gets up to move so she can have her own space. He actually lets HER be the one who has to pack up and move even though HE is the one who capitalized on her politeness and invaded her space. As she stands to move, he thanks her for her table.
I know that kind of thing happens every single day on a much larger scale. I know that girl just felt mildly annoyed and taken advantage of, and that moving to another table was an easy solution, and no one was hurt by the incident. Like, I know that. But it still just makes me so angry. The entitlement and the disregard for another person’s space, privacy, and comfort is infuriating. And that’s before I even factor in that it was a man imposing on a woman. My friend and I remarked that we would have told him no from the start, but it was so clear that she wanted to say no, and any woman could give you a list of reasons she might have said yes despite not wanting to. But to this man, there was no problem. He was polite. He asked first. She never voiced any objections. And he didn’t ask her to get up and move; she did so of her own accord. So to him, this entire situation was totally fine. But I think it says something that he chose her when there were men sitting alone he could have imposed on without the obvious potential for discomfort and intimidation. But he didn’t. He imposed on her. And even when the situation no longer necessitated that he share a table with someone, he took for granted that it was now HIS space and that she should be the one to relocate.
I think about situations like this alongside the Aziz Ansari issue, and I think about all the people--women included--I heard placing blame on the woman for not explicitly saying no despite the fact that she obviously did not like what was happening. I know there is a huge difference between a woman feeling pressured into consenting to share half of her table with a man and a woman feeling pressured into consenting to a sexual encounter she doesn’t want with a man. But I definitely think that what I witnessed today is a symptom of that bigger problem. I don’t know what I would have done in either woman’s place. I’d like to think I would have voiced my objections explicitly, but I don’t know if I would have. I would have wanted to be polite. I would have been afraid of offending. And I know that those things compounded with fear are why both of these women went along with what these men asked of them.
I think it’s also worth noting that consent is something that can be taken back. It can be expressively given and then retracted. The woman who came forward about her experience with Ansari voluntarily went out with him and back to his apartment. She participated in sexual activity with him (however reluctant she might have been). And she received a ton of criticism based on that fact. People placed a lot of the blame on her for consenting to any degree initially and then changing her mind. How was he supposed to know what she wanted? Did she expect him to read her mind? Well, no, of course not. But he could try reading body language, reading for the subtext behind what she says when she asks to slow things down. Basically, he could not assume that he is entitled to her body in whatever way he wants because she consented to any other act at any other point. To me, that’s just basic regard for another human being’s comfort. I see that on a smaller scale with this girl in Starbucks. She did consent to let him share her table. She implicitly expressed reluctance, but she said yes and moved her stuff out of his way. Just like Ansari, he can’t read minds, but also like Ansari, he paid no attention to what her body language was telling him. And even after she went to physically move to another table, it didn’t occur to him that he’d done anything wrong. He thanked her. He was polite. And hey, so was Ansari.
Am I saying I think this random Starbucks guy is a monster or a predator? No, of course not. Possibly this is all very unfair to him. I don’t know.
Anyway, I know I’m not saying anything that hasn’t already been said here. I just needed to vent about it because as small and insignificant a thing as it was, it really bothered me, and I can’t shake it. So here, have it.
It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.
Frances Ha (2012)
, Dir. Noah Baumbach (via
wnq-movies
)
i love this movie so much & Greta’s delivery of this monologue is flawless.
(via sabrinabenaim)

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Lost Valentine’s Day cards (requested by anonymous)
@jeffffgoldblum
me when the demon in my room tries to scare me in the middle of the night
this is literally the height of comedy tho
Elijah: “Cristine, what are you doing?”
Christine: “Just watching TV.”
Elijah: “You’re in IKEA. It’s not on.”
[X-Files theme plays]
In which my permanent life mood is Grace Hanson

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Y'all gotta take this down 😂😂😂😭
just watch it
UNMUTE
How? Did not miss one beat
Awesome 💕💕💕
I’ve already watched this 3xs! Love it!