Corner for a Misanthrope

I just remembered that this was a thing that was HILARIOUS in 2006 and apparently that was ten years ago now.

Old people: join with me in remembering how funny we found this on LiveJournal.

Young people: look at this lolrus, it’s so happy, it has a bucket.

♡

simon grace mate, question

i wouldn’t call it that

simon care about grace <…> want to make sure grace is not hurt, question

yeah, yeah, buddy. of course.

good good then simon watch grace sleep. rocky busy busy with ship recovery and watching own mate adrian so simon watch grace sleep so he is safe

<…>

question

yeah, buddy. all night. straight on until morning. uh. promise. <clears throat> promise, statement.

bonus:

good good because grace can die in sleep statement

he what—

grace, poking his head through the door: Not more than a typical human. Rock, cheese and crackers, stop telling people that.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

Btw that’s the designer Mark bought Simon’s clothes from. They might not be on there anymore but:

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

here's part 4! this was probably my favorite one to draw so far since it's the most intense.. i think. as always, please do not re-upload my art anywhere :)