whaddup, it's me, ya boi

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president

Ripley’s Believe It or Die

Ripley’s Just Go Fuck Yourself

*1am on a worknight voice* why is the Among Us show good

*finished Among Us episode 1 voice* ........................why is it Good

reblogging ‘cause it sounds like a background music in a fantasy novel/movie.

I just died it’s so beautiful

thylakhaleesi This is the track I was telling you about yesterday! :D

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

“how to make cool shit that people fuck with” you don’t. you make whatever the hell you want and then people start fucking w it. authenticity precedes audience

Frankly, I don't buy the theory that the repeated sweeping deletions of trans women's blogs have principally been the product of bad-faith mass reporting campaigns abusing automated moderation. I've been falsely mass-reported before, on multiple occasions, and nothing's ever come of it. Someone is pulling that trigger.

Man in quotation marks is a whole 'nother level of shit

"Hello, my name is Plover, and I am 120% legs. How are you?"

“Cant talk, gotta go plover there” *runs away with my long as fuck legs*

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

Listen if any of y'all ever decide to assassinate me you can't just use poison or a gun or any of that old busted shit anymore, it better be like some kinda Abe Shinzo esque contraption and/or doohickey

This is the ideal