I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.
I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the ânopeâ gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldnât find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in godâs name am I gonna say to that?!
You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.
How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says âthe weather has been a little hot lately, isnât it weird?â just to do small talk like every fucking old people I donât know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with âyâknow whatâs weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? itâs eating me alive. ALIVE, maâam, and I donât mean this as some sick vore reference. Someoneâs dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while theyâre filled up by Jar Jar Binkâs thick seed, and Iâm just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. Itâs a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, maâam, have a good dayâ
I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I canât remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.
Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. Itâs only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-
Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.
The simple thought that the jar jar anon exists in the same world as we do gives me shivers. I bet that if I look upon them, whoever they are, I will die instantly.
Replies hall of fame
+ bonus (someone that should be feared):
Iâm sure that somebody has probably pointed it out already, but there is officially published material in one of the art books of naked Jar Jar, and heâs like a Ken Doll down there:
@kaijutegu ever heard of a cloaca? Jar jar is a reptile.
Nope, Gungans are amphibians! Amphibians, while in possession of a cloaca, are not in possession of dicks. They just donât work that way. When amphibians reproduce, they do something called a cloacal kiss, where the male ejects sperm directly into the female. Tailed frogs do have an extendible cloaca that can help propel the sperm into the other cloaca, and sometimes it comes out in packets, but amphibians have no penises. Jar Jar is packing absolutely nothing.
Also, having a cloaca doesnât necessarily mean you donât have a dick. Lizards have two dicks tucked up inside their cloacas. But amphibians just donât work that way. Frogs, salamanders, Gungans? Dickless wonders the lot of âem.
There goes anonâs hopes and dreams
more importantly, why would even want Jar Jar to have a dick when weâve seen their tongue game in such excruciating detail in the films? Iâm a lesbian and am repulsed by men and even Iâd consider getting cleaned out by it
