Something I wanted to share with you ❤️
House of Gentians production break is over, and updating of new parts will begin soon! But before I properly return with HoG updates and all the other art I've been working on, there's something personal I want to share. Some of you may already know this, and some of you probably don't. But I think the time has finally come for me to be open about it.
I'm Pakhnokh. I'm an artist, and I live in Israel.
For all the years I've been active on social media, I hesitated to say that openly because I learned that, for some people, those words come with assumptions before they ever get to know the person behind them.
I decided not to let people know exactly where I was from because I wanted to be judged and treated as a person and as an artist, someone with creative ideas and a sense of humor, who has always tried to be friendly and kind to everyone regardless of who they are, where they're from, or what they believe. I judge people by their actions and behavior, not by things about them they did not choose and can’t control. And I have always wanted to be treated the same way.
However, constantly feeling as though you're hiding a part of your identity can have a real impact on your well-being, and only in recent years have I come to understand that this was happening to me.
On my social platforms, I was always me, I was always myself, I wasn't faking or pretending to be somebody I’m not. But I learned not to let people know this particular part of me because I was afraid of being hated and excluded for it.
As the situation in this region became more and more intense over the past few years, I also became increasingly aware of the opinions being expressed in communities I was part of. The more I saw people talking and posting about current events, the more I found myself falling into a cycle of self-doubt and self-blame. I began to feel as if I was shunned, hated, and excluded without anybody even knowing that I felt that way. It felt like hiding behind a mask. I began to take a quiet blame for everything that was happening, as if any of it had been committed by my own hands. Every day I scrolled through the communities I loved, I increasingly felt as if I was standing on trial, and that the responsibility to answer for everything happening around me had been placed on my shoulders.
I was so afraid all those years to be reduced to a symbol, that with time it was I who had turned myself into one.
Eventually, all those years of fear and repressed feelings, amplified by an extremely hormonal, fatigued and vulnerable postpartum state, contributed to a very ugly reaction from me when people online finally learned my identity. Yes, terrible things were said to me and about me. Yes, I was accused of things I had never done, written, or thought. I was given labels, called names, and assigned an identity that was never mine. Some of that hostility reached beyond me and touched people I cared about, whether in my real life or online, at a time when I was already struggling. And it hurt me deeply, especially when it felt as though years of being kind, supportive, and positive online, and the hundreds of works I had shared with people, suddenly weren't enough to vouch for who I actually was.
But none of that excuses the way I reacted.
I understand much better now what led me to that point, and there are ways I responded then that I would handle differently today. I spoke about what happened and about my own views in a statement I wrote in 2025. I'm leaving that statement available here for anyone who wants to read what I said at the time.
After many months of reflection and working on myself, I've finally decided that the healthiest thing for both me and my relationship with my audience is simply to be open about this part of myself and stop hiding.
So I would like to introduce myself properly, almost as if it's my first time.
Hi. I am an internet persona who goes by the nickname "Pakhnokh."
In real life, I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, and an artist who lives in Israel. I spend my days creating stories, drawing, raising my children, and caring about the people I love.
I am one person among millions who live here, millions of individuals with different beliefs, experiences, and actions. I am responsible for my own beliefs, my own words, and my own actions. I cannot be responsible for those of an entire population, a government, or anyone other than myself.
I understand that people hold strong opinions about Israel, Palestinians, the conflict, and politics in general, and that much of this comes from genuine concern about human suffering. But regardless of where I'm from, I refuse to be seen as cruel, racist, hateful, or personally guilty of events bigger than me simply because of my identity. I am not a government. I am not a political party. I am not a spokesperson for a country or for millions of people who happen to live in the same place as me.
And part of what I've learned through all of this is that I cannot control what every person online believes about me. I cannot spend my life chasing every assumption, interpretation, or opinion and trying to correct it. I can only be honest about who I am, take responsibility for my own words and actions, and allow other people to draw their own conclusions. Like anyone else, I may sometimes choose to share my thoughts about things happening in the world. I want to have the freedom to do that when I genuinely wish to, without feeling that my identity requires me either to speak or to remain silent.
I also understand that my personal views may matter to some people when deciding whom they wish to follow or support, and I respect their right to make that choice. But I don't wish to answer political questions as a condition for someone's continued support. What I choose to share about my views will be shared freely and on my own terms, just as I believe everyone should have the freedom to do.
My artistic presence online has always been a place of escapism for me. A place where I can share my art and ideas and connect with people who enjoy the same stories, characters, content, and fandoms that I do.
What you believe in, what you support, where you come from, or how you identify does not determine whether you are welcome here. What matters to me is how we treat one another. If we share a love for the same things and treat each other with kindness and respect, then I'm happy you're here.
More than anything, I hope that learning this about me doesn't change the person you have already come to know. I am still the same Pakhnokh whose art, comics, characters, and nonsense you've been following. Nothing about me has suddenly changed because I have shared where I live. You simply know a little more about me now.
And if knowing this part of me changes how you feel about following or supporting my work, I understand, and I respect your choice. I want the people who are here to be here because they genuinely want to be. At this moment, I am finally at peace with this part of myself, and that sense of calm and relief is much more important to me than constantly wondering whether people will leave because of it.
And for as long as you find happiness in my work, you are welcome here. Nothing about that has changed.
Thank you for listening to something that was difficult for me to finally say.
It feels good to be here as all of myself.
Hoping for a change for the better in our world,
And yours always,
Pakhnokh
