U.S. elections be like
this is it. this is the best post Iāve ever seen.

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U.S. elections be like
this is it. this is the best post Iāve ever seen.

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Just 12th century things
Itās a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. Iām sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. Itās Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before.Ā
That changes today.Ā
āHey guys, what ifā¦ā I start to say.Ā
Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldnāt even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadnāt I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.
āWhat if you guysā¦.. stopped killing people.āĀ
Suddenly, silence.Ā
1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression.Ā
A single tear rolls down my cheek.Ā "Please.ā I say with a broken voice.Ā
He is moved.Ā
āAightā.
My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I canāt let my lily-white friends down. Not again.
The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.
All I can hear is heavy breathing.
āHelloā¦.ā I say quietly, my voice shaking. āIsā¦.. Is this Muslim?ā
There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer āya lol.ā
āI was thinkingā¦ā¦ā¦..ā I begin cautiously. āMaybe murder isā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦bad.ā
āHabibi, Iā¦..I donāt understand. What are you trying to sayā¦.?ā The voice seems shaken.
āWhat ifā¦ā¦.world peace is good and killing people isā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦not goodā
He lets out an audible gasp. āAre you saying ISIS isā¦ā¦.bad?ā
āMaybe death isā¦ā¦.not good.ā I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.
The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. Thisā¦. This could end terrorism.
āMuslimā¦.Please.ā I whisper.
I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearingā¢, and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.
āKk.ā
Wtf? Anon is completely right, everything theyāre saying is true. You CAN actually make a difference by speaking up about the bs in Islam because a whole lot of shit that ISIS does is islamic, but no, go ahead and belittle the deaths of innocent human beings just because theyāre āmayonnaiseā instead.
whatās your workout routine? did you stretch before that reach? maybe stop watching fox news and consider looking into how many muslim leaders have spoken out about terrorism, or how ISIS kills more muslims than anyone else, or literally anything since you donāt seem to be very educated on this topic but still think your 2 cents are needed for some reason :////Ā
My latest comic for The Nib was written by my friend Mike Thompson- itās his first published comics work!Ā
The Nib has been a steady source of income and a huge support to me and many other indie cartoonists for years. They publish amazing work, but will be cut loose by their financial backer in July. You can read the official post about it from editor Matt Bors here.Ā They are still running their kickstarter-funded print magazine, but have to put digital publishing on hiatus until they figure out their next steps. If youāve been thinking about supporting their membership program, now would be a good time. They have levels from $2 to $40 per month. I really donāt want this to be my last Nib piece!Ā
instagram / patreon / portfolio / the nib / etsy
you know what, THIS is how you address historical queer folks of all stripes in a respectful way. you refer to them the way they chose to be referred to, and you say āitās impossible to know how they wouldāve identified in todayās society, but theyāre part of our history regardlessā.

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thank you smithy for your words of wisdom
is it really so difficult, so troublesome to put the bread tie back on the bag
My mom made this post
I googled this for days and days once and couldnāt find it so Iām going to reblog it now for safekeeping
Donāt screw with, Hayley
Original tweets 1, 2
Boom. .There it is

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Castles And Fortified Cities From Medieval EuropeĀ 2010
https://archive.org/details/CastlesAndFortifiedCitiesFromMedievalEurope
Here is an illustrated guide to the architecture of medieval fortifications, from the first castles to the fortified cities of the 15th and 16th centuries. Elements of medieval warfare and weaponry are also covered in drawings and text.
itās so weird hearing americans talk about TargetĀ© as some kind of semi-religious holy space of reasonably priced goods and services, bc in itās short, fever-dream existence up here in the frozen north it was⦠Not Good.Ā
in my experience with the three (3) i went to in the surrounding area it was. uh. you know when you step into a place and thereās nothing immediately noticeably wrong but you can just Feel that this is a Bad Space? like the kind of space where if you catch a glimpse of your mother walking down an aisle and turning a corner you know itās a demonic trick and if you follow her itāll lead you down a path to a dark space you canāt return from?
or you go in with your friend whoās right next to you but you get a text from them sayingĀ āhey iām in the shoe aisle, you should come hereā and you know itās a trap from the devil? like other things:
only half of the dim, washed out, often flickering fluorescent lights were lit at any given time, usually only every-other set, leaving these valleys of darkness that made entire aisles inaccessibleĀ for fear of shadow people latching on to your soul like a dark passenger.Ā
entire sections were just Empty. empty shelves with no product, never any employees filling them up, no boxes waiting to be unpacked, no signs saying what should be there.
no employees at all actually? wandering around the store even though the parking lots were full and you walked in with a group of 20 or so felt so lonely. you could walk the whole place and it was dead silent and the only otherĀ āpeopleā around always were several aisles away with their back turned, unmoving. there was always only one cashier and there was never anyone in her line.
there was never any music on or announcements played? another place that does this are all the dollar trees in my area and it gives me anxiety. i feel like iām being hunted, like i have to hold my breath and listen for the footsteps of beasts in other aisles.Ā
the fitting rooms had a strange, dark energy to them. it felt like if you ever used them, whatever universe you closed the door on would not be the same one you stepped out into when you were done. the washrooms also contained this same dark energy.
passing the employees-only doors felt like wandering too close to a bears den. the glass windows never showed anything going on back there, no racks of product, no employees milling around. it was just pitch black, complete darkness. a hungry void.
leaving a target was the same disorienting feeling as leaving a dark theatre and exiting into the light. sound and colour and feeling rush back in. you feel like you can breathe again. a weight is lifted from your shoulders. you canāt remember any of the time you spent inside the target.
it is my sincere belief that the targets in canada never existed. the storefronts were put up, yes, but the stores themselves were vast empty caverns filled with dark dreams and sinister interlopers attracted to the malignant leftover energies from zellers. passing through the automatic doors was meant to teleport us to the nearest american location, but something went wrong and we entered an unnatural zone halfway between the upside down and whatever it was that happened in the langoliers.Ā
i believe the balls outside target are carefully crafted and powerfully attuned magical artifacts that keep up the illusion known as Target©, but were incorrectly spaced in canada due to a mixup between the metric and imperial systems of measurement, and that is why the brief twilight zone episode that was canadian target collapsed virtually overnight.

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IMAX UPLOADED THE MUMMY TRAILER WITH HALF THE AUDIO CHANNELS MISSING AND CREATED 40 SECONDS OF UNDILUTED COMEDIC PERFECTION
Shit like this is why I could not stop laughing in film editing school. I would have to leave class because I was in tears whenever I had to do sound.