Who Said I Was A Human? (INTRO TIME!)
Hello, humans of planet Earth, Gleep Glorps of Mars, and....whatever the fuck that is on Jupiter...I am Asper, though that will probably change later because I have no fucking clue what my name is/will be!
I like you creatures on Earth especially! Although yes, a lot of you are really fucking dumb and ignorant, I think it's very entertaining! Like, why the hell do you even have genders? I mean, it's a cool concept, and I'm absolutely stealing it, but like...some if you care way too fucking much if someone suddenly changes what they want to be...
Same thing with like...skin color, I guess? From my planet, you might as well see the whole rainbow walking around! But on your planet, it's all dull and gross...and on top of that, y'all give too much of a shit if someone has a different, sometimes even more dull skin color than you.
I mean, it pisses me off sometimes, but like...it's reaaalllyyyy funny too. Anyways, I kinda stole some of your concepts. You guys apparently don't have things coming out of your heads (at least, not usually), so I took those away, and I decided to try growing hair like all y'all. Ooo, then I discovered that you can dye your hair, so I've gone through like, 20 colors now!
Oh, right, I've been yapping way too much now. Ahem, where was I...? Oh, right! I am Asper- waiting, not, I already did that...h-hold on, gimme a sec....ah, there we go! Okay, so, I have taken some of your ideas- wait, I'm redoing that too...ehhh, fuck it. Why's it even write a script in the first place?
I like your concept of gender btw. We don't really have gender from my universe, we all kinda just...multiply. like, how when you cut a worm in two, it becomes two worms? Yeah, like that. Anyways, I decided to classify myself as a trans girl! I'm still gonna use my other "pronouns" of course, but I'll probably mostly be using she/they (yes, I also like the idea of demigirls).
I will say, you humans have weird concepts on things like "romance" and...err, "sex." Like, why does this random fuckass guy care if two woman kiss or if a guy likes another male genital going in his rear end? I personally don't have genitals, but, as a shapeshifter, I can become whatever I want.
I did my research a few years back and after long studies, I've no idea what I would classify myself as! I guess for now I'm panromantic and abrosexual. Oh, that reminds me! I think the fact that you humans wear these things called "clothes" is a super fun hobby!
Like, I love the concept of how putting on different clothes represents your personality and shit. In my opinion, I just want to wear everything! It's all sooo coooool!
Anyways, uhhh, oh, right! That's the last thing I wanted to say! Although yes, I am millions of human years old ever since I gained immortality and shit, I can shift my appearance! As of now, I kinda like being a teen. It's fun!
Alright, that's all for now, humans! Cya later!
