bonerific

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

what a ride

Not for her, apparently.

oh my god

!!!!!!!!!!

@seananmcguire

goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do

if you are a man who had sex with a woman, and she became pregnant, and decided to abort, she does not “owe” you any say in the decision. all you did was bust a 10 second nut and suddenly you get a decisive say in whether or not she goes through 9 months of insanity and a painful expensive labour cause YOU want the kid? fuck off. your role in the creation of that fetus is minimal at best. if you really, genuinely wanted a child with her, you would have PLANNED for the conception of a child with that woman BEFORE y'all fucked. stop giving me that shit about “both of them created it together so they get equal say in the matter!” NO a man ejaculated and THAT’S IT, everything else regarding conception is on the woman’s body, she gets the final say in whether or not she’ll carry to term, NOT you. go adopt one of the 250,000 children in foster care waiting for someone to love them if you want a kid that fucking badly.

all pro lifers can fuck off my post please I still stand by this 100%

remember that reddit post with the dude who insisted his gf carry the baby to term and she left the baby with him and fucked right off and was faithfully paying child support but he still bitched about how his life was ruined bc he expected her to stay with him bc of the child despite her repeatedly stated intentions otherwise