NOT a Yoda kinnie

If you turned Yoda inside out like a sock he would look the same

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

we'll jump off that bridge when we get to it

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

well maybe i am "the faggot america"

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

honestly yall just gotta be comfortable reading books that make you feel stupid

read books that you don't understand. read books where you have to pay attention. read books that make you reread a page eight times to figure it out. read books that you need to take notes on. read books with words you have to google. read books that don't make sense without research on the setting. read books that make you feel stupid because otherwise you'll just be stupid.

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

well at least im not 11 or 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or 18 or one of those awful years

Fie, I remember my teen years, t’was when I was a squire. Terrible thing those years. I am Johnathan Darksouls

i know you always have my back johnathan darksouls

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

There is absolutely a platonic explanation for that

But I will also entertain the non platonic for my own edification do u understand

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

currently every single ad i get on the mobile app is one of those mobile game interactive ads, that A) sucks up my bandwidth because images and things in posts do not load as quickly as they did before this influx of game ads, and B) make it impossible to scroll past because the ad is as tall as my phone screen and trying to swipe on it just interacts with the ad rather than scrolling. i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it.

gar field? that’s not where they’re supposed to be

oh wow… how serene…