White Bread Boyfriend

i have been trying to learn to foster in myself for awhile now, the spirit of play and childlike fun having. like. im serious about the psychological benefits of playing toys. and ive noticed, there is a barrier created by the sense of adulthood that everyone is waiting for someone else to break

like.... this is easiest when doing a kind of, "yes, and" improv situation, because in that situation youre being actively given permission by another. when playing like this ive noticed in myself and others, a way in which the apprehension dissolves really quickly , and it's really exciting

its like theres some kind of deep embarrassment that pervades almost everyone. a fear of looking silly. but when you get past it, behind it, there is ALWAYS a deep and innate desire to have fun that is covered up. ive seen this even in adults who are like 80 years old if you start being silly enough

one time i started playing with my steel tongue drum and a rubicks snake infront of an old man and he asked me for a go and within minutes he was super into it having fun banging drum and making shapes. ive seen people who are otherwise very serious moved by the power of text roleplay silliness

yesterday my friend and i had a lot of fun playing with a puppet and its making me think a lot about this barrier and how to break it... like... the more i think about there being a barrier like that. the more i want to destroy it entirely. i'm a pretty shy person in actuality but I WANT TO PLAY

ive tried looking for actual literature into this topic psychologically but i struggle to find anything useful. there doesnt seem to be anything to 'teach' you how to play as an adult. i want to give myself permission in every possible scenario and foster environments where others can play too...