this is about your cars extended warranty

"i danced with death" yeah well i slowly ran from him all frail and daintily in a cunt-honoring way

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

i think they should let the skull drive the car

you have to outlive donald trump

imagine how funny the internet will be on the day he dies.

the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

octopuses are shockingly intelligent creatures but unfortunately takoyaki are good as fuck soooo :/

Matt if it's a boy, Mattress if it's a girl

you are fucking died. game oval.

SU having a whole-ass episode with the moral of 'you know sometimes you and your friends will have different feelings about the same piece of fiction and that's fine, don't get too worked up over it' hits different after learning how the internet treated this show while it was running.