this is a title

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

Every day I am haunted by the fact that Jupiter Ascending was not based off of a million word space opera fantasy book series and that I cannot go to the library and take out like six door-stopper sized volumes of sheer unhinged gendervibes-y space werewolf bee queen batshittery where every new freudian space eugenicist villain talks like he's trying to eat the scenery's pussy out harder than the last guy. 😔

I want everyone to see this section of a mostly unredacted judgement I’ve been reading. Mostly it’s fine, but occasionally they have to X out a word or a profit margin or something. But then I encountered paragraph of the year.

One of the few redeemable qualities of this World Cup is that every underdog chose to be fucking hilarious

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled