It's 5:30 a.m.
It’s 5:30 a.m. and I think I love you more than ever.
It has been 9 months since you left me alone. Since we don’t talk and I don’t hear anything about you. I had no shoulder to cry on. Nobody to tell me that everything would be ok.
But when I close my eyes, at 5:30 a.m., it’s like you never left. Fuck, it’s like you were here 30 minutes before. Hearing your voice a few weeks ago made me realize that everything is still pretty vivid to me. When I close my eyes this time in the morning, I can still feel like you were on my bed. All curled up because my bed is a little bit small for you. And you just left, I don’t know, to go to the bathroom or to go get a glass of water. But when you are back, you would lay down by my side, and spoon me. Or, you would be afraid of waking me up and just lay there. And then I would spoon you. Little spoon, big spoon. I would smell your hair, hold you tight and kiss your neck and shoulders, and maybe move my legs to warm up yours. I would feel you, and I would feel like I was the luckiest girl alive.
I hope she holds you tight to keep you warm this winter.
It’s 5:30 and I think I will love you forever.
Five years. Yeah, I will love you forever.
