My haul so far

Ochrophytes stole my oyster harvest. Can't have shit in Cornwall 😤

mitch mcconnell get yer ass out here

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

you could be licking the boot of a magnificent leather mommy or daddy and instead you're slobbering over billionaires and cops? who aren't even gonna call you a good puppy after screwing you? hobbyless behavior

all my alters become walters when i pitch the baseball of success

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

Please give us your data 🥺🥺🥺🥺 For the children 😢‼️ all of your legal information 🙏🙏 yes 🥺 your home address? 🥺 Your government issued ID 😢❓social security number and credit card details 🤗 immigration status ❓ racial religious and gender identity 😁😢😢😢⁉️ please 🥺 did you get an abortion this year 🥺 please give us your personal information 🥺🥺🥺🥺 for the children‼️‼️

Write that long fic. Those two plot points and a fetish will make a great 5+1. It'll be the best oneshot you ever wrote.

customers the same in all universes

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here

How do I... use this? I don't know what to do ;-;

here’s a youtube tutorial by the guy who made it