not now, chopper!!!
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@wanderer-451
not now, chopper!!!

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cuddle pile
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“How would a chicken wear pants?”
- Richard Beale, 1784
Thank you, Richard Beale, for making our opinion of the past slightly more ridiculous.
WEDNESDAY S02 PT. 1 + TEXT POSTS: WENCLAIR EDITION

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TOG au edit for @ironpe: a walk in the clouds au
After the war, alpha Joe intends to pick up where he left off with his wife: build a life together, and get that house with a white picket fence. After a mildly disappointing reunion, he realizes that she never read any of his letters, and that he hardly knows her, save for that one whirlwind romance right before he shipped off (they hadn’t even had time to mate). But he’s determined to make it work, and part of that takes him on a cross-country trip to work at his old job at a chocolate factory.
On the train over, he shares a carriage with a nervous omega who barfs on him right after he helps him with his luggage. This is how he meets Nicky, a graduate student returning home. Apart from the vomiting incident, they get along well, talking the hours away about anything and nothing in particular. Joe feels a connection, but senses that Nicky is hiding a secret, especially as Joe can’t get any scent off him. When Joe comes back from using the bathroom, he finds Nicky crying quietly, and he finally confesses his predicament.
Nicky is pregnant. He had been having an affair with his professor, only to find out that he refuses to be tied down and left Nicky to fend for himself. Now he’s going home to a conservative father who will most definitely kill him when he finds out. Joe reassures him that’s not the case, but Nicky insists it is. “I will kill anyone who dishonors my family.” How many times has he said that?
Unable to leave Nicky in trouble, Joe offers to pose as his husband, just for one night. In the morning, he will leave and Nicky’s father will hate him instead of Nicky. After much convincing, Nicky agrees reluctantly, thanking Joe over and over for his kindness.
They leave the train together and Nicky takes him home to a sweeping vineyard, where their family’s winery has stood for many generations. Joe is welcomed warmly by everyone, except Nicky’s father who is outraged that Nicky would get married without telling anyone and is determined to be worried about Joe and his intentions.
They decide that Joe needs to stay longer, to allay some of his father’s suspicions. But with each day that passes, Joe finds that he’s pretending less and less that he’s in love with Nicky. When he dotes on Nicky, he means it. When they kiss, the thrill Joe feels is real. The moment he starts to wish this is all real is the moment he remembers he’s still married. While he senses that Nicky feels the same way about him, Joe can’t reciprocate and he won’t hurt Nicky this way.
Can Joe endure a few more days without arousing suspicion? Will he be able to leave Nicky knowing he’ll be breaking his heart? More importantly, does he still even want to?
Kpop Demon Hunters as Textposts because I'm bored part 2
Nicky: Not much of an exile, if you're dropping in to deliver groceries. Joe: Booker's alone. Nicky, caro, what… he's alone. Nicky: Yeah. And you were the one screaming for his head.
now I just love this, since it really shows how even if Joe was the one who pushed for a longer exile that also played a role in how he dealt with Booker in the aftermath, as Greg said "[...] Joe and Booker are shouting at each other at the lab… but Joe is the last person looking back when they leave Booker […] and there’s a nod between them. They have achieved something. In accepting this punishment, they can be friends again."
so yeah Joe's quick to anger, but also quick to forgive and I'm just 🥺🥺🥺
meanwhile poor Nicky is like 'why did you push for 100 years if you wouldn't even last six months, am i a joke to you'
dare i say it could be… the tism “this is the rule we set, we should stick to it”

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Nicky calling Andy by her full name out of respect Vs Nicky calling his husband by his full government name because he's a LYING LIAR WHO LIES! Di Genova.
bbygirl was MAD!
Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn’t be in this mess
If AO3 had a slogan
netflix: here's the movie you've been waiting 5 years for but just wait a second sorry we're going to end it on a massive cliffhanger with all the main characters separated and set up for torture and permanent death and no sorry we haven't announced a sequel i know a lot of you were waiting to see the announcement in the post credits but we might do it we might not we'll see!
also netflix:
Nicky's sass standing there with his hands in his pockets scalding his husband for going to see Booker fucking sent me sky high. Joe looking like he was about to burst into tears?? Omg give me strength. It would have taken everything and more for him to tell Nicky that he needed 'alone time' to cover up the fact he was visiting Booker. Nicky was like, alone time?? Every morning for a thousand years without fail he tells me how much he has missed me while we were sleeping - alone time my ass... Nile, girl, get in the car....

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nicky when joe tries to give him a bro hug and walk off without making eye contact like that's a thing they do
I don't think Joe's bad at lying I think he's just bad at lying to Nicky because he's literally just never tried. 900 years and Joe's like whew ok here I go gonna lie to Nicky, he caught me the last time I tried 4 centuries ago but this one will get him, third times the charm,