Richmond 'til we die

“I’m not harassing her,” Parker protests, rolling her eyes at Mel. “I’m not your sorry ass, trailing behind her like a puppy looking for a treat. I’m having a conversation.”

Frank hums, unconvinced. “Usually both people talk in a conversation, and I didn’t see Mel talking. I did see her charting, though, which you’ve interrupted.”

“You’re no fun,” Parker huffs, gently knocking into his shoulder. “Fine, I’ll go check on my labs. King, I expect your answer when I return.”

Mel watches her departure for a moment before turning back to her chart. She doesn’t realize Frank is still standing there until he asks, “What was all that about?”

She feels her cheeks heat up and wishes she’d made her escape with Parker. “Oh, just a dumb game.” She types a couple of words and tries in vain to ignore the heat of his expectant gaze. After typing the same word three times in a row, she sighs and looks back up. He’s leaning against the counter, now, his bicep flexing just in her eyeline, and she chooses his nose as a relatively safe place to rest her gaze. “Um, you know how people like to play the game where you have to say who you would marry, kill, or, um––” Mel raises her eyebrows at him meaningfully, not keen on dropping an f bomb at the central hub for no reason, but he seems to take that as an invitation to fill in the blank.

“Fuck,” Frank finishes, nodding, and Mel feels that down to her toes. She swallows and bravely perseveres. 

“The night shift really likes playing that, I guess.” She scratches behind her ear, trying and failing (yet again) to forget the conversation she’d had to listen to between Parker and Henderson about whether Frank would be better to fuck or marry out of the trio of him, Whitaker, and Jesse. Mel kept accidentally frowning at Dennis when she was back on days, remembering how quickly and remorselessly they had killed him. “But I find it, um, inappropriate. And upsetting. So we kind of invented an alternate version?” 

Frank looks delighted. “Hell yeah. Hit me.” He softens into the smile she thinks of as hers, even though that’s probably self-important of her. It’s just that she’s never seen him use it around anyone else. “I mean, what’re the new categories?”

Mel blows out a breath. “Maroon on a deserted island, co-parent with, or partner with for a required lab prereq.” Frank laughs, his head thrown back and his Adam’s apple biteable, and Mel tries to keep her eyes on his nose. “That way we don’t have to kill or, um, y’know a colleague. Or somebody we don’t actually know, like a celebrity. I don’t want to wish that on someone.”

Frank tilts his head. “But won’t the person on the deserted island die?”

Mel shakes her head. This had been a major topic of discussion during the creation of the game. “No, not necessarily. It’s like how Captain Jack Sparrow could get out of being marooned. I like to start with that one, and figure out who would have the best chance to survive in those conditions or have a creative approach to escaping.”

Frank nods along, his lips still quirked up in amusement. “Alright, I’m sold. Who were the three Ellis just asked about?”

Parker reappears then, leaning against the counter and knocking back into Frank’s shoulder. “Why am I not surprised you’re still talking to Mel after telling me not to annoy her when she’s charting.” 

“The difference is that I don’t annoy her,” Frank replies cheekily. Mel bites her lip to avoid smiling too obviously. It’s unfair how he makes everything look so charming, even when he is being a little annoying. “Right, Mel?”

Mel sees an opportunity for escape. “Neither of you annoy me,” she says, logging off and rising from her stool. “But I do need to discharge my patient, so maybe you two can entertain each other. Frank is very excited to play.”

She tries not to look too relieved as she hurries towards North Four. That was a little too close for comfort––

“No way,” Parker says, voice closer than it should be, and Mel accepts defeat. She turns back around to find Parker almost caught up to her, Frank still laughing against the counter. “I know you have an answer, King. Go.”

Mel sighs and stares determinedly up at the ceiling. Of course she has an answer. She knew it about 30 seconds after hearing the prompt.

“Abandon Abbott on the island, because I have complete faith in his ability to make the best of that situation, whether it’s continued survival or escape. Co-parent with Al-Hashimi, because she’s already a mother and she’d bring experience. Also, I think we probably have compatible values. Partner with Robby, even though I don’t know that he would have been my favorite lab partner, since I think he probably had a way he wanted things done, but I dealt with worse.” She drops her gaze. Parker is nodding, grinning, and Frank’s mouth has dropped open in a way that should look dumb but somehow just looks hot. Ugh. “Happy now?”

“Ecstatic. Excellent choices. You and Al-Hashimi would raise some very smart and idiosyncratic kids.” Mel frowns, not sure if she should be offended, but Parker barrels on. “Alright, I get one more today. Me, Mohan, Langd–”

“Nope!” Mel tries not to interrupt people, she really does, but she’s done here. She’s trying not to look back at Frank, but she can still see his stupid mouth open out of the corner of her eye. “I’ll see you later, Parker! I have to discharge this patient now!”

She spins back around, heart pounding, and makes it all the way to her patient’s room this time. She waits outside for a minute, hoping her blush will dissipate, and mentally congratulates herself on avoiding a situation where she accidentally spirals about co-parenting with Frank in front of Frank. With a deep breath, she swings the curtain back, professional smile in place.

It would be one thing if Roy was just his rival. But Jamie can’t ignore the fact that he’s so much more than that. He looks up to the old dick. Admires him.

Thinks he’s probably one of the best-looking blokes on the team. Probably in London. Maybe even in England.

Needless to say, Jamie’s beyond jealous. He just isn’t sure who he’s more jealous of, Roy or Keeley.

One night, he had a dream — a dream that they’d all had a threesome. Just a dream, he tells himself over and over, trying to swallow down any longing he had whenever he saw the two of them together. Just a dream.

Instead of lusting over them like a bloody lovesick puppy, he’s decided to focus on jealousy, giving Roy more dirty looks than normal, even shooting a couple glares at Keeley — but only when he knows she wasn’t looking. After all, it isn’t her fault.

But the pining hasn’t stopped.

“So, what the fuck’s up with you and Roy, then, anyway?” Jamie asks Keeley one day after training, pulling off his jersey and not-so-subtly flexing his abs. He’s proud of his six pack. Not everyone on the team has one. Roy probably doesn’t, being a fucking hairy forty year-old dickhead.

That’s a lie. Jamie knows Roy’s still fit as hell.

Keeley gives Jamie a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

Jamie shrugs as casually as possible, leaning against his locker in a (hopefully) tantalizing manner. “I mean… do you actually like him? Or are you just trying to make me jealous?” He flashes her his signature cocky smirk.

Keeley grins back, a teasing grin that Jamie knows all too well, a grin that sends shivers down his spine. “Seems to be working, doesn’t it?”

Jamie chuckles, feeling a rush of adrenaline as he banters back. “Nah, hardly. You know me. I’ve got plenty of options.”

Keeley rolls her eyes, prompting Jamie to continue with that same smirk. “Still care about you, though, innit? Want to make sure you’re not making a mistake with that hairy old prune.”

Jamie gestures backwards towards Roy, who’s at the other end of the locker room, clearly watching them with a deadpan stare. Good, he thinks to himself. Let him get pissed.

Keeley’s grin fades into a fond smile. “Well, I care about you, too, Jamie,” she admits, and the sincerity in her voice makes the striker’s heart race. “But… I do like Roy.”

And just like that, his heart sinks. He’d been half-hoping she’d admit she was just dating him to make him jealous. But deep down, Jamie knows. They’re fucking falling for each other, and Jamie’s left on the sidelines.

He just can’t believe he fucked this up so bad with Keeley.

Quickly, though, he masks his disappointment with a scoff. “What’s there to like about him? He’s basically me, but… older. Grumpier. Way less attractive.”

Keeley gives him a look. “Jamie…”

“No, really,” Jamie interrupts, smirking a little. “I mean, if that’s what makes you happy, fine, but…”

“Jamie,” Keeley cuts in, her smile fading into a more serious expression. “He makes me happy. All right?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jamie grumbles, rolling his eyes slightly as he turns back to his locker, starting to rummage through it. “When you get out of the whole honeymoon phase and inevitably dump him, give me a call.”

Keeley doesn’t even respond that time. Jamie’s jaw clenches as he starts rummaging around in his locker, packing everything into his bag as he prepares to leave.

“Oh, hi, babe!”

Keeley’s sweet voice snaps Jamie out of it. He already knows what he’s going to see if he turns around, but his masochistic side forces him to glance over.

Roy leans down and presses a kiss to Keeley’s lips. Jamie wants to scream. And yet, he can’t look away.

“Ready to go?” he murmurs against her lips. His voice, sweet and tender but still with that same gruffness, is so different than it is with anyone else.

Jamie wishes Roy would speak to him that way, but he’s royally fucked that one up, too. Not that he ever had a chance with Kent.

“Yeah,” Keeley answers, her eyes sparkling in a way that makes Jamie’s blood boil.

The old prick wraps an arm around her. She leans into it with that perfect smile.

And then, as if he can read Jamie’s goddamn mind, Roy suddenly locks eyes with him.

Jamie clenches his jaw and gives Roy a sharp glare, trying to hide the fact that just one look can make his heart beat a little faster.

Roy’s gaze only remains on his for another moment before he turns back around, guiding Keeley out of the locker room. And now Jamie really wants to scream, because he hears her giggle, and he even catches a glimpse of the old man’s mouth quirking up into one of those rare smiles.