ʕ •ﺭ•ʔ WaffleScience

I really like the Weird Al song eBay because it’s one of those rare parody songs that’s weirdly and strangely continued to make sense for over 20 years. Given its subject matter and multiple dated pop culture references you’d expect it to lose relevance quickly but no given the commodification of nostalgia and rise of side hustles in recent years and the structure of eBay fundamentally not changing not only do I, a person who was five years old when that song was written in 2003, understand every reference in that song, it feels like it could’ve been written yesterday.

I know the most dangerous dumpling-based spells and incantations. I can teach you how to enact wonton destruction

I didn't ask how big the room is, I said "I cast Firebao".

Abracadimsum!

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

or just like, invite me over. if im your guest ill watch whatever you put on and we can enjoy it together

no emoji will ever encapsulate the pure joy behind :D

when u wake up a little and are like “i know what would take this from a 10 to a 100” and u roll over and experience mind melting euphoria before u fall back asleep… best part of being alive. humans were made for beddy bye

[footage of Victor Frankenstein sewing together female body parts to make a mate for the Creature while Lou Bega’s Mambo no.5 plays]