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@vynxfantome

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is anyone else feeling stuck and waiting for something that will never come in order to start living or is it just me?
avpd culture is instinctively navigating away from the page once you send a message or an ask, no matter how innocuous. the equivalent of tossing a bomb and running away from the aftermath.
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i’m horrified by the fact that this is all i’ll ever be.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
avpd culture is feeling a disconnection between you and the world because of how much you've isolated yourself out of pure genuine fear, feeling that you've distanced yourself from people far enough to protect and hide yourself. but at the same time, lamenting how big that distance has become and desiring the warmth of real human connections; wanting to get close, but dreading the idea of vulnerability.
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i can't keep living like this!!! [does not change a single aspect of my life]
they need to invent somewhere where I belong
i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.
avpd is debilitating, it crushes my soul to know that there are other people who have to go through this as well. it is fear, it is hiding, it is shame. it is so much shame. and there is no one who can help us because we don’t know how to ask for help. no one will ever know how much we suffer. the psychological discomfort of avpd, being ashamed of your existence enough to want to stay in hiding, is a secret we all want desperately not to be kept, but are too afraid to tell.
me doing normal human activities: is this allowed? is this allowed? am i allowed to do this? is this allowed? i don’t want to get in trouble can i do this is this allowed?
People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness
"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally
The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.
Never heard a truer thing in my life.
holy shit wait you mean being just morbidly terrified of doing anything wrong ISN’T necessarily the same as being “well behaved?!”
Convenient children =/= healthy children
Convenient children =/= healthy children
Felt like that needed emphasis

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
no matter how hard i try i will always be that little girl wondering why everyone is better friends with eachother than her and begging to be loved