Vynx Fantôme

is anyone else feeling stuck and waiting for something that will never come in order to start living or is it just me?

i’m horrified by the fact that this is all i’ll ever be.

i can't keep living like this!!! [does not change a single aspect of my life]

they need to invent somewhere where I belong

i hate nerves and anxiety. oh nooo i am scared of acting like a weird bitch to remedy this i will act like a weird bitch

hey sorry it's just that i don't think i'm very good at being a person. thanks for letting me try with you, anyway.

avpd is debilitating, it crushes my soul to know that there are other people who have to go through this as well. it is fear, it is hiding, it is shame. it is so much shame. and there is no one who can help us because we don’t know how to ask for help. no one will ever know how much we suffer. the psychological discomfort of avpd, being ashamed of your existence enough to want to stay in hiding, is a secret we all want desperately not to be kept, but are too afraid to tell.

me doing normal human activities: is this allowed? is this allowed? am i allowed to do this? is this allowed? i don’t want to get in trouble can i do this is this allowed?

The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.

Never heard a truer thing in my life.

holy shit wait you mean being just morbidly terrified of doing anything wrong ISN’T necessarily the same as being “well behaved?!”

Convenient children =/= healthy children

no matter how hard i try i will always be that little girl wondering why everyone is better friends with eachother than her and begging to be loved